I don't know.

So here're my new frames! That's a really poor excuse for a shot, I know. Don't really feel pretty in specs, so I shrunk that image alot. Ah, look at me, the world's going to hell in a handbasket and I'm bitching about the downsides of being short-sighted.

I'll be 24 later. In 6 hours, to be exact, since I was born at 12.25am.

Can't say I'm dreading becoming older. There IS the pressure that comes with it; having to grow...financially and achievement-wise and probably in maturity too. Haha. I'm not ruffled by this tho. I know I'll do fine, am actually looking forward to what's to come.

I just hope I'm making good decisions for a change.

That previous post was saved as a draft, and I have no idea why. Anyway, I'M IN SPECS!

*does a couple of very unprofessional somersaults*

While the front's mostly black, the sides aren't of the same colour; one's green, the other's red. I got them cos they'd look a little weird to the normal eye, and plain interesting or even normal to the weird eye. Stupid boy really likes them, and he wants me to wear those at umm...some particular times.

Ahem.

I'm EATINGEATINGEATINGEATING and I think I might start calling myself Food from now on cos that's what I seem to be occupied with almost all the time! What I mean by this is this; I have meals. Then I have mini-meals in between. They're not all unhealthy, but that's a lot of intake. And lately I've become addicted to masala tea/coffee. Beautiful beverages. I feel like I'm drinking the very essence of love, when I slowly sip on and savour those things.

On the edge of madness, yes.

I've not had my tea for the day. Maybe that's why I'm shaking my legs. I think I'll get a popiah too. Or two.

A couple of my FB statuses for the year. It's been a good year, I think. :)

Gonna get my new frames in 2 hours.

wooooOOOT!!!

I'msoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcitedsoexcited at the idea of not having to wear contacts non-stop. I'm sick of the almost perpetual discomfort. Now contacts shall be reserved for days that I wanna look extra pretty. Yay.

Got to go now. Toodles!

Pictures of my BIATC!





Adorable innit! Okay I know that's not a teacup. But BIATC (brownie in a teacup, for the uninitiated) sounds more...easy to identify with.

Alternating. Cold, hot, warm, hot, cold, warm, HOT.

Cold. But never frozen.

http://www.perfect10.com.sg/

I was looking for the website for that Perfect 10 radio station, and found this breast enhancement site instead.

'If you're one of the millions of women who suffer the embarrassment of small breasts, natural breast enhancement may change your life.'

Up yours, whoever wrote and approved that! That might be the dumbest line I've heard all week. Suffer the embarrassment of small breasts, wtf? Really, who should be more embarrassed, the small-breasted or the small-minded?

"Oooo I'm gonna lure poor body-conscious females into buying my product by helping them acknowledge that they have shame-inducing breasts first, and then I'm gonna tell them it's all okay cos I've some miracle cream that will give them a false sense of confidence. Yaaaay $$$$!!"

And there're women who'll buy it. Heck, even you might be reaching for your VISA card after seeing what's on that website.

There's nothing wrong in wanting to improve the way your body looks but if you're going to have to buy that improvement (besides a personal trainer), it just becomes a sad story. Cos if you feel the need to artificially enlarge some part of yourself so that you'll be more attractive to your boyfriend or other ppl in general, maybe you need to change your boyfriend and/ or your personality.

But the actual question here is, what's so embarrassing about having small boobs? Aren't women supposed to come in different shapes and sizes?

I love my body, and I love my boobs. I've slightly small breasts and honestly, I think they're beautiful. They're an important part of me. If I had a boyfriend who wished my boobs were bigger, it just means that I'm not his type of beautiful, which makes him not the right kinda guy for me. You can't keep a person who has to try to accept you. It's all about individual preferences.

I prefer it real.

Mmm. I think I shall post this on FB too.

I was yakking tiredly on the phone, hung up around midnight, and decided to laze on the sofa for a while before turning in. Next thing I knew, it was 8am (late for work!) and I was curled up in the exact same position as I was 8 hours ago, except, there was a blanket on me.

I do vaguely remember my mom catching me nodding off on the sofa, and sighing and going, "Aiyah. Do whatever you want lah."

Ah, couple of days ago, I was alarm-snoozing excessively, and my mom got irritated and screamed, "DHANYA!" I got up on my elbows and said, "I said I'm leaving now!" and resumed sleeping. That felt weird.

My mom hasn't killed me yet. I love that woman.

Pardon my previous post. That was me checking if emailing text and photos here wld work. And it did! Yay!

I shall be blogging tonight. Off to see Beeer now, following which will be time with my stupid boy, which will be spent being all disgustingly lovey dovey. :)

(empty)

Testing!

Warmest Regards, Dhanya

Starting my course all over again next year, 31JAN. Can't wait! My mind is so much more peaceful than it was last year, and I know I'm ready to do well. I did think the modules were interesting, but I couldn't bring myself to care about them while I underwent really really reaaallly mild depression.

Shit. I miss my depression weight. Felt so good to see a 50 on the scales. I'm now 55! Curves are nice, but arm flab isn't.

This is a little embarrassing. I kiiiinda didn't take any pictures of my BIATC. Bleurgh. The bf did, though. But those were pics taken while my BIATC was being raped by a lit candle, so I guess you'll nvr know how cute it really was. I know you don't care, but I like to think I'm actually talkin to someone who's listening intently, due to genuine interest.

I'll get those pics off my stupid boy and post them up here. The deadline for this particular task shall be 31DEC10. :)

My birthday's coming soon. I'll celebrate yet another year of achieving absolutely nothing, except constantly being in some relationship since 15. Except this time, it feels like sunshine in my heart. :)

It's my stupid boy's birthday today!

(And my 2-yr wedding anniversary. Haha.)

I woke up with a headache this morning, and since it was most definitely due to lack of sleep, I decided to take the first half of the work day off, and did some major snoozing (the alarm's snooze button probably hates me by now). When I finally awoke fully, I was thinking about how much I love my boyfriend, and decided to make him a brownie in a teacup.

Okay I know I seem to be baking brownies and brownies only forever and all eternity, but in my defence, I have also baked apple pies and chicken pies and vegetarian pies and butter cakes and orange cakes and a couple other stuff that don't come to mind now that I have not documented, nor publicised. Sooo...there, I've made some useless point. Oh oh oh, and I love brownies the most. And, since this time I'm doing a real small amount of it (just enough to bake in a teacup), I decided to do a recipe I'm totally familiar/comfy with, so that the end result will kick ass no matter what. :)

The brownie in a teacup (BIATC) looks completely adorable (just like my stupid boy!). I will take pictures of my BIATC and post it up here within...the next 24 hours! Yes, I gave myself a deadline again! I swear I'll stick to it this time cos posting up 2 or 3 (5 max) pictures doesn't take much creative effort.

I'm doing an image search on google for brownies in cups, and sadly, these things are in existence! I don't feel so special anymore. Sigh.





Ah, mine still looks better. HA.

Oh shit. Here's a nice bunch.






Ah bien, original idea or not, I love it. From now on, I'm going to bake my personal stash of brownies in cups. When I want to have them, I'll warm them up and dig in (literally). Yay!

I really should get back to work. See you soon with pics of my BIATC. :)

The hotel ppl wrongly labelled their mocha 'unsweetened'. I added 1 pack of raw sugar, and I think I might have diabetes now.

Inaccurate labelling aside, I love teabreaks!

So all I did this halloween was binge on chicken nuggets. And cut the centre out of a fruit cake cos the oven's mad and the middle part refused to cook its gooey self.

Oh, I did paint my nails black, tho! But they're matt. And a little messy. A bit like acrylic paint. Boooo.

My charcoal sticks are wailing to be used. I got them a good...*counts months off fingers* ... 5 months ago.

WOW, TIME FLIES THE CONCORDE.

I'm on this page! http://www.shanozzyinc.com/

So sexciting!!

P.S: I've been quite busy lately. I do want to do a post today tho. :)

I'm having coffee in a beer mug.

I love this! It has been decided that w.e.f. today, this shall be my nightly routine; a beer mug of coffee sometime between 1am and 3am.

Byebye beauty sleep. You elusive thing.

Wow, I appear to be a bimbo in love, don't I? Thank god I don't care a whole lot. In other words, thank god this blog isn't for the purpose of money-making or anything even remotely useful. Actually. Celebrity bloggers here seem to be bimboes. Bimboes with badly doctored posts. No flow. Lower secondary standard English, even after probably editing 27382 times. I don't write fabulously, but those people could do a whoooooooole lot better. I am generalising though.

What the heck am I being diplomatic for? They (generally, ahem) suck.

I have been contemplating the pros and cons (the entertainment value, to be specific) of putting up a 'buy me a beer' button. Donations, ofcos, are strictly NOT to be made, if I do decide to place some button like that somewhere here. I do wish there was a way some kind/bored soul could send an actual drink to my door with a few clicks. Like that bottle of beer. Or a milkshake; I'm not choosy. Oh, or a pizza!

Getting addicted to coffee. This is no good. 3plus in the morning and I'm shaking my legs in impatience that's unaccounted for.

I love my stupid (and occasionally clever) boy! He's now whistling a tune into the fan's face. In case you're wondering what tune, it's the Final Countdown song.

ACT CUTE!

(It's apparently a cool song)

Toodles!

I'm at Starbucks and there's this bastard sitting right opposite, facing me, and I think my seating choice has never been more unfortunate. Yes, this beats having a mad old man beside me in the bus screaming 'cheebye' in sporadic bursts.

This fellow (dressed in a seriously screwed up yellow & brown printed shirt and not-so-cute nerdy specs) is a metre or less away from me, and busy acting busy reading the papers but I just KNOW he wants to be an ass to me. This is how I know; his main engagement at the moment is blowing at me. Really, blowing as in 'hoooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooo' blowing. I CAN FEEL HIS BREATH ON MY FACE. He blows couple of times every 3 minutes and it's now been about 8 minutes and I think it's a miracle that my macchiato is not all over his dumb, blowing head. Yet.

Ah. I just gave him this expressionless stare for like...5 seconds. And now he's real casually blowing at some other direction. Thank god it worked. Wld have hated to actually have to talk to him, to say something like, "Stop blowing at me". That wld have been so weird.

Maybe I shld get some cake.

Yep, 'tonight' was a long long time ago. Teehee. Ah, it's difficult to blog with a bf.

To illustrate my point, HERE'S MY STUPID BOY!

TOODLES!

It's been a while, hasn't it? Lately, I've been texting way more than typing. I think my thumbs actually shiver when they're not required to furiously jerk all over that keypad.

I shall blog tonight! About nothing in particular. As always. :)

Gosh I miss baking. Miss miss miss it! I remember those glorious brownie-making days. I was on a (brown) roll, I tell you! Ah well. The finances aren't the best at the moment (in other words, I'm utterly UTTERLY broke), so the batches and batches of brownies can wait. Oh, and I'm gonna bake more granny smith apple pies too. AND eclairs. And scones and breads and fruity buns and layers and layers of all kinds of cakes with all kinds of creams and nuts and fruits on/over/between them. And I shall stop this before I climax.

Ah, my stupid boy's busy studyin for his exams next week. I miss him way way way too much. Disgusting.

Oh, I'm moving back to the east! I've missed that area quite a bit. This move wasn't planned for earlier, but it's pretty confirmed now. December will see me saying bye bye to amk, and helloooo to pasir ris/ tampines. What sucks is that I'll be leaving my boy in checkered shorts in the north of singapore! Ah well. The country's pretty small; complaining would be pathetic. Also, change can bring about exciting things. :)

Can't wait to see you again, my stupid boy. Sigh.

If you used to visit this space way back, you'd know about the many many many times that I was approached by men who were absolutely NOT my type while walking home from the mrt station, and that they always turn up from behind (sigh). Since moving to ang mo kio though, I've had no such disturbances during my wonderfully peaceful walks home TILL a few nights ago. Double sigh.

I was contemplating on the pros and cons of making a small detour to get some minced meat noodles (the coffeeshop 15 min away from my home sells seriously fantastic minced meat noodles. my stupid boy agrees!) when I felt like I was being watched. I noticed the shadow of a man in my pathway, and did a little sigh. In the vehemence of my sighing, I tripped a little on a crack in the pavement like a typical indian heroine and this chinese guy in his late 30s/early 40s went, "Oh sorry! Sorry sorry!"

I did a quiet 'wtf...'.

He fished out his mobile and asked if it was too dark, and therefore if I needed illumination from his phone. I politely declined. So he proceeded to talk to me a while, and when he arrived at the bus stop where he apparently had to wait at for a friend, he told me I forgot something.

Me: What?
Him: Your number lah. Don't have your number then how to contact you?
Me: I have a boyfriend. I told you.
Him: Nvm lah, can be friends what.
Me: HAHA. Don't want lah.
Him: Aiyah okay lah. Must wait for my friend here. Bye, see you!
Me: Yah.

You might be wondering what the hell I'm doing actually replying to him, and my reasoning is this; it's 10+ in the night, and I'm walking home alone. I'd really prefer not to piss off some stranger who's tendencies I'm not aware of. Personally think that ignoring someone is a lot more rude than refusing to give him your number.

Oh and yesterday afternoon, at nephew #3's birthday party, a self-appointed video-camming middle-aged fellow asked me if I cld have the birthday boy on my lap, and ask him a few questions (happy birthday, do you like your birthday so far, did you get many presents, etc etc) so that he can film the whole thing. I obliged, but it didn't work out very well cos my nephew just wanted to run around in the drizzle. The guy then told me he did videography and photography, and he cld pass me his number, so that we can talk.

Me: Talk? Talk about what?
Him: Talk. Umm...talk...
Me: ???
Him: So...where do you work?

He insisted on passing me his number, so I just took it to cut the convo short, afterwhich he told me to give him a missed call, which I never did, ofcos. I asked my sister about him. He's apparently really unpopular with the ladies. Figures.

Time to wash my hair with tea! Toodles for now!

The saddest dream I've had in years. It brings me near tears, tho it's been 2 days since I had it.

He and I met up. I knew it was over, he knew it was over, I was trying to be obvious about the separation, but having a hard time doing it cos he was acting normal and happy. I cld see it was all a big show on his part, to try keep things going. My heart felt so heavy and I felt that familiar feeling of dumb helplessness, and was just carrying on casual conversation the best I cld.

We were about to enter a train when I stopped, looked at him, shook my head slowly like they do in the movies, saying, "No".

He hung his head, and I started crying. We hugged for a few minutes, weeping into each other's shoulders. His train came, and he was gone.

-.-

The niece and I were talking about birthdays yesterday and I told her all about the day she was born.

Madhu : I looked like this right? *does a scrunched up, pouty face*
Me : Something like that...maybe a bit less weird.
Madhu : Mmm...I didn't have teeth right?
Me : Yep, no teeth. :)

A few seconds later;

Madhu : But I did have a tongue right?

I'm going to see Ragani AND Jeevitha tmr night! And hopefully, Kit will join us! It's going to be a fantastic friday!

*swims in exclamations!!!*

If only I cld see my stupid boy sooner than sunday. Sigh. Saturday night shall be spent lounging around finishing that book of short stories (it's pretty interesting. the main characters are jews in all sorts of predicaments) that's a month overdue. I think I'll just keep that book. Wldn't be surprised if NLB banned me from borrowing stuff. They've been sending me hate mail for years. :(

Jogged in the rain yesterday! It was so so good. Yeah I felt like I shld stop cos my heart was threatening to burst, but doing it in the rain was wonderful! Heehee, 'doing it in the rain'. Teeeeeheeeee!

Ahem. Anyway. I was panting like a fat child just 2 minutes into it. How sickening to realise that some aunty can coolly outrun you (yes she did. =( ). I must make this exercise thing a regular occurrence. This is so that a) when I get frightened by a dead rabbit, I can run with much efficiency b) I'll grow older not feeling so guilty about eating slightly more than I used to during my less happy days, which is what I've joyously been doing recently and c) I'll have less jiggles in my thighs so that I won't have to think twice about doing the chicken dance if the occasion called for it.

Today shall be a day of indulgence, tho. My stupid boy will be mine the whole day. :-D

There's this feeling of unrest... I can't decide why.

http://www.aware.org.sg/2010/07/my-short-skirt-invites-you-to-violate-me/

Of all the comments, I agree with this;

'Robin
July 29, 2010 at 3:49 pmI think some of this stems from the way some (of course not all) men split women into a dichotomy: those that you marry and those that you f@ck.

In both cases the woman is seen purely in terms of her value to men instead of being recognized as an individual.

This little survey drills down on the topic with more specifics: http://bit.ly/dyKYBx'


and this the most;



'Wake Up
August 3, 2010 at 10:26 pmThese guys are not raping the hot girl. Nobody is raping the hot girl. They are too scared stiff of her to even try get her number.

Tall talk of rape of the hot girl is not rape. It’s sour grapes.

The rapist doesn’t go after the girl he thinks is too good for him, who laughs at how pathetic he is.

He rapes the one he think he can dominate, the one he can overpower. It’s about power, not attraction.

Yes drunker makes her easier prey. But the girl on the train was not drunk.

The rapist is looking for the girl he thinks is weak, who won’t report him, who will fear him, who he can threaten, who he thinks will feel too guilty or scared to do anything about it afterwards… Whether this girl is dressed as a nun or a call girl he doesn’t really care.

Later the excuse may be “the skirt was too high” “the jeans were too tight” “the lipstick too red” “the look too tempting” but it’s all just to try wriggle out of the truth of the crime and sadly we buy into the story. “Maybe she did play a part… may she was too tempting.” BS.

Yes don’t get so high that you don’t know where you are and who you are with. Yes don’t be so friggin stupid as to go into a flat or on to a boat with 6 guys you don’t know. These are all stupid moves.

But if you want to rock that outfit when you are walking down the street or in a train, then you go. Guys always talk shit and they always will.'





It's so true, it doesn't matter what you're wearing. When I got chased in the train by an unfamiliar dick which was up at a 90 degree angle, I was wearing a turtle neck under a big brown knit granny cardigan that covered my ass, long black pants and covered flats. And big nerdy specs. It was one of those bleurgh days where I didn't give a damn what I looked like...which was just as well, considering. Turd actually spotted me waiting for the train and decided to come over and try his darndest sticking his member to my ass the next 5 minutes. I know this is incomparable to rape, but if I'd been in some deserted place, I wld've had a much worse day.

Just a few days ago...thursday night, I think, I got a bit of a scare cos I was waitin to cross a traffic light at selegie area, and this big person seemed to appear out of nowhere right behind me, with too little space between us. I stepped away to my right and saw from the corner of my eye that it was this man with long straight hair which is EXACTLY how the turd was like. My heart sank almost to my feet, when I saw boobs and realised it was just a slight giant of a woman. Argh.

Anyway, yes. No need to dress provocatively or be pretty. As long as you look like you have a vagina, you're 'asking for it'. Also depends on luck I guess. Men have obviously stronger bodies and if I'm fated to cross dark lonely paths with a rapist, I'll just hope he doesn't hurt me enough to need hospitalisation or, die. But, ofcos, I'll do the best I can to get him caught.

Ah well. In a world where a 6-month-old baby girl can get raped with her arms tied behind her back (was he really anticipating that much physical resistance?) and thrown down a rubbish chute, you really can't expect much.

The minty Kit Kats were good! They tasted almost exactly like After Eights, except with no glorious goo. Ooo I miss that goo. Mmm. New idea for a facebook status update. Haha.

Oh, as you can see, new background! Yep, that's my ass. It feels a little odd, looking at it cos I've never had a good, proper view of how I looked like from the back. So this feels almost like some random alien shot. Anyway. Photo & editing credit goes to Vin. :-D I just added that slight red tint and borders, and that place I was in looks absolutely gorgeous here. Nice, dreamy shot, isn't it?

Ah and yes, RAGANI'S COMING BACK SOON FOR CREAMY DOSES OF LOVIN'!

The wrongly accused.

Friend says:
ahemmm
eh
u look very pretty ah in ur fb dp
keep it up

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
hahahha farker

Friend says:
with ur guy
haha
wat!!!!
KNN
ppl give compliment

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
OH WAIT A MIN

Friend says:
also get scolded

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
you mean my FB pic ah?

Friend says:
gawd

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
not my msn pic?! (which, at this juncture, I need to say, is the image of sunrays forming a heartshape on the otherwise dull seat of a transitlink bus)

Friend says:
ur level of intelligence

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Friend says:
is shrinking


Okay I know it's not thaaaat funny. Nvm.

Had a fantastic time with Kit at gulab jamun fest/dinner today. She makes me wanna visit Europe! Maybe I will, when I realise I've SGD 2399120931223 to spare.

By the way, I've recently begun realising that being my natural self is not really much good, in general. This is not a bad thing I think, maybe a little saddening, at most. Have to make things better, since I don't live in my own big dreamworld. Yep, here I am, talkin about dreaming again. And yes, I think Inception is a wonderful film. Haha.

Sometimes I can't help it though; when I'm reminded time and time again that I'm just one person who's really, in fact, alone. Alone in my experiences, emotions, ways.

Am I missing something, maybe? Was this supposed to be, perhaps, just a little less difficult? I might have made a wrong step, or two, while being typically me.


P.S: Got mint Kit Kats. Tell you how it tastes after I have one with the bf tmr. We both love mint. :)

I think I think I think, I shall blog tonight! Weeeeeeeeeee!!

Out of the deep deep blue, I realised with a slight startle that hey, I miss listening to Dido! Dumb mp3 player died on me a year ago. Mmm. It died when I told the ex that things weren't working out, and the player was a gift from him. Odd coincidence(?)...but that makes its death technically alright. The songs were my downloading effort, though!

I also miss my Kinks collection, RHCP songs (was listening to one at Long John Silver's yesterday and weeped an internal tear for all my lost songs), and the other lovely bits & pieces (random numbers by random/not so random ppl, including a recording of nephew #2's heavy breathing)

Yes, Dido, as I was saying. I love her voice. So soothing. And this song's one of my favourites.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

- White Flag

Ladidadida.

Oh, I didn't use that pink ribbon. It was a wee bit disgusting.

My mom had a look at these malay bridal photoshoot pictures and had this to say; 'this looks like you're having one last fling right before your wedding ceremony.'

-.-

























This is a mix of non-pro and pro photos. It was SUCH FUN! You can have a look at the photos I'm tagged in in Facebook if you're oddly curious enough to wanna see all the pictures available.

Need to get ready now. I'm gonna wear a pink sweater with a pink ribbon in my hair. Yes, eeeew and oh my god too!

Made lemon pudding last night! It's obscenely easy to make, and I'm glad I did. Know why? Cos I now have lemon pudding with blueberries in it (fresh whole blueberries scattered around the pudding body, and minty blueberry jam at the base) to stuff my face with, yay!

Quite unfortunately, I miss my stupid boy. I was supposed to see him today, but totally forgot about this museum trip that I expressed interest in a few weeks ago to the sisters. Had no idea it's to be today, so I'm kinda stuck due to my previously displayed show of...enthusiasm. If only I'd kept my big trap shut.

Sigh. Museums are lovely but my stupid boy's lovelier.

You might be wondering if he's actually honestly stupid. In truth, he's a big, clever boy wearing checkered shorts. I mean, come on, he's with me! That's a really really smart decision to make. Actually...not the smartest, considering. Nevermind.

Starting work at a new place tomorrow. I can be in jeans! This is marvellous due to the fact that my legs (actually, mostly just my right leg) are decorated with shitty scars that appeared cos of an interesting variety of reasons, one of them being my checkered shorted boy.

I'm aware that I sound disgusting, referring to him all the time in sickeningly adorable(?) ways. Oh but I can't help it! *sighs and falls into a disgusting heap of mush*

You might be thinking, 'there she goes again'.

You don't know half the story. ;)

Tagboard's up, along with a song by the favourite band. YAY! Now there's motivation to spout nonsense on a more regular basis.

Blog soon, when I've something more substantial(?) to say. :)

In more ways than one, the grass is never greener; you just get different grass types.

This is embarrassing, this state of affairs. Yet, since there is nothing to be done about it, there is this weird sense of calm. I can't fix it, try as I might. Moral failure, somewhat. Blame would naturally be on up-bringing or external influence(s). I ask you this though, how do you steer the mind of a self-possessed dreamer? A mix of an idealist and a realist, but a little unfortunately, a dreamer nonetheless.

Dream, dream, always dream. Dream about the good, dream about the bad, but don't wish for anything. Think about consequences, but don't be afraid of them. In my dreamy state, sadness is okay, happiness is okay, money is overrated, hurt is a negligent emotion, the world will take care of itself, we're all fine. Therefore, I'm fine. I've lost some faith, maybe I'm losing more, but I'm still dreaming, and I'm fine.

Okay this isn't exactly light and happy, but I quite love it, so it's here to stay. For now at least.

:)

My pay cheque clearance is a day overdue and that's cos the bank apparently did not receive it. I slipped it REALLY CAUTIOUSLY into the quick cheque deposit box and watched happily(such shortlived joy, tho) while gravity pulled it down. They better be giving that box a good clean-out as I speak cos if they don't find it, I'm gonna hunt their banking asses down cos there is no way I can borrow any more from my mom since, to date, I've borrowed SGD345976123879834720340124921, give or take.

Sigh.

ANYWAY. I'm having a snickers bar for lunch today. It's raining and I have 2 umbrellas at my disposal, but I'm just gonna have hot crappy vending machine coffee and munch on the chocolate yumminess that my stupid boy got me. Some sort of happy balance, maybe. It's become obvious over the years that no matter how much I try be smart with the way I hold the umbrella (y'know, depending on which way the wind's blowing), there's just no use.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit. The bank just called saying my middle name's missing from the cheque, which explains why it wasn't cleared. Now I gotta wait for my HR person to get back to me before I know when I'll get @*$!# paid. This. Sucks. Supremely.

Could be worse. At least I'm getting paid. It's nice having a job.

Oh that reminds me! I should do some work now that lunch's over. Yay! *giggles and twirls away bimbotically*

P.S: I'm changing my blogskin over the weekend. Something lighter and happier.

I've missed having a blog add that sounds young & dumb. So, I'm COMING BACK!

:-D

I hereby swear to blog this weekend.

In the event that my promise is broken, this blog post shall serve as an official invitation to kick my patootie in a very violent manner.

Thank you, come again!

P.S: If any of you are interested in taking up a diploma/degree awarded by UoL, please let me know and I'll tell you all about it.

P.P.S: Only if you're really interested. Don't test my knowledge, I might fail.

P.P.P.S: Yeah but I definitely can help you still.

Wow, it's May already. Things have been alright so far this year. I feel young again (tho too young, sometimes) and it's quite safe to say, that despite still being in limbo (am still married. damn anullment is taking ages), I'm having the time of my life.

And I hope you are too. :-D

I'm trying my best not to talk about Checkered here. That's not because I'm trying to keep things hush, but cos I MUST NOT become a boyfriend bore by gushing and gushing about him. I know how sickening it can be, and I REFUSE to get to that nauseating level.

NAAAAAAAAH. I think about him so often, it's impossible for him to not somehow appear in my thought processes. It's like this:

"I like foolscap paper. It's often clean and smooth. It used to be a joy writing compositions on them in secondary school. I miss my stupid boy. I didn't really like going to school. Must talk to MDIS about ending the deferrment. And after that, I wanna see my stupid boy. I wanna kiss him I wanna smell him I want I want I want."

Yep. Yep, I'm disgusting. Ah well. Makes sense, I'm in love. :)

I worry for us, I really do. The world is going to hell in a handbasket.

When we have kids, we have to be good parents, which at this point of time I personally think would translate to being smart, kind, and protective, but not to the point of being anal. Cos we don't want them to rebel and run away and die somewhere. More like...watching over our kids. Like Buffy's Watcher, Giles. Yah, and we got to let our kids be trained in self-defence/ass-kicking arts.

And we shld never leave our children alone with other men, even if it's your brother or something. God...such a sad state of affairs.

I should stop panicking stupidly and get back to work.

Oh my god.

I moved my swivel chair back a little and I swear it said 'Dhanyaaa'. And it sounded like the voice of a middle-aged chinese man. Honest.

By the way, this's my 666th post. I shall wear dark and sinister panties tonight after my jog with the mina cousin. Or, I'll put it on before I leave the house. Mmm. Decisions, decisions.

I'm going to make my own kite! And that's cos I'm too cheap to spend twenty dollars on one, AND cos (due to my abundant stock of creative juices) I've been itching to make something pretty + functional. So I'll be making a hopefully gorgeous kite tomorrow night, after watching Clash of The Titans with Checkered, and Saturday morning will be spent flying it with Hillbilly and SkinnyNadhen. Yay!

My swivelling seat is kiiiinda creeping me out.

The long weekend; it's finally here! I really shouldn't be blogging now cos I've not brushed my teeth, let alone showered, and I'm to see Kay in an hour and 4 minutes at city hall. We're going to Asian Civilisations Museum for this exhibition on the moghul empire, which I know nuts about. But ask me again in a few hours and I'll be much better informed! Probably.

And I'm really really really looking forward to tmr. The whole day is to be spent with Mr.C and I can't imagine a better way to spend a saturday. Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. I've become a wee bit disgusting, I know. Everytime I think these corny thoughts, I go 'YUCK. Get a grip, dammit!' too.

Curly Kay beckons. Toodles!

Last night, I was out with 2 girls I've missed quite a bit; Hillbilly & SkinnyNadhen. They don't need pseudonyms (actually nobody here needs pseudonyms anymore cos omg, you can actually see a pic of my lover and me with a sunflower if you scrolled down really rapidly!) but these names are so fun to use! Anyway, it was good, sitting around and dragging guava-melon-mint-flavoured shisha and talking about many stupid things and interesting things and bitchy things(we all hate the admin manager at our old workplace. we secrectly refer to her as 'dot dot dot dot' on FB).

Do you think I shld stop using brackets? It's become an addiction.

By the way, you don't really have to read this. I'm somewhat practising documenting my honest feelings...or something like that. So if you feel like all this talk's getting really old, just stop mid-post, okay? That is, if you've not stopped by now. :)

As I was saying, we were talking. Obviously, I'm planning to introduce a certain topic over here, and that would be the ever-(un)exciting topic of my love life. The usual...shld have been single for a while before committing to Checkered. Yeah I see the logic in that. I mean...having 'belonged' to someone since the age of 15 (2yrs with ex-ex, a week later, 5yrs with ex-husband and now, Mr. C), I never seriously gave myself a break, which, by personal experience, might lead to straying...even if you love your 'partner' a whole lot. Honestly, I think the difference is in whether you treasure your relationship or don't. Or whether you're sure that he/she wants you for more than...physical and momentary pleasures.

Before I realised I should trust Checkered, there was a little bit of a grey period. It showed in my earlier blog posts; my unsureness, my trust, my unsureness again; my bouts of all things scary, relationship-wise. To tell the truth, after my initial elation that he and I have a shot at being together, I wanted to be single for a while; entirely free of any kind of commitment, be it serious or fling-like. I didn't want to do the whole 'he likes me, he likes me not' thing. Okay, I've never had to go through that, but I hear it sucks. I didn't want to stay up all night hoping I'm just a way of escape from boredom, I didn't want to feel guilty about thinking that way, didn't want to have answer to anybody, didn't want to give a damn about what I say to other men that might be misconstrued, I didn't want any such sticky shit. BUT, I fell in love. And I couldn't help but want him to want to keep me.

God. It's so funny how I never thought of such things when we were plain friends! I thought he was fantastic company...comfy to be with and full of dumb-assed things to say, shameless with mischief that's comparable to a small boy's. And a good heart. Yeah I did think we'd make a good match character&looks-wise, but that's it. Just the slightest bit of wondering, especially since he used to text me nonsense every night, while I happily texted nonsense back, and the late night phone conversations which sometimes resulted in both of us taking medical leave due to fatigue. This is where I thought he was gonna be my very first male best friend. Yeah, me and my collection of best friends, right? Haha.

Sooooo yep, it came to a point after we sort of got together where I felt that I shld make a choice; to ask for some time by myself, or to not. I actually thought I should...told myself I will, but I cldn't bring myself to. I think of his face, his smile, the way he makes me feel, the way I make him feel, how much I'd miss him. See, of all the people to leave, the guy you're mad about shldn't be one of them. By right lah. Haha. If I do it now, what guarantee will he have that I won't do it again? Oh, this leads me to the other reason that I eventually decided not to ask for a breather. My checkered-short-ed boy does not believe in gettin back with a girl who has initiated a break up with him before. Notice I didn't say he doesn't believe in getting back with exes, and that's cos he actually might give it a thought, as long as he was the separation-initiator. Everyone has their own personal set of rules or guidelines to keep their sanity/ego/etc intact, but this particular one is something I wasn't comfy imagining myself mulling miserably over, even if I had asked for some time alone, promising to be back (now, come to think of it, I cannot imagine having undergone a 'break'. sounds ridiculous). I decided to throw caution (plus a few Oreo wrappers. I miss you, Ragani) to the wind and kinda surrender myself to us, and fate, I suppose.

I really do over-display brackets (and semi-related thoughts).

You never know what's gonna be the best thing that's happened to you till you release your inhibitions, right? I know I'm not losing out on anything. :)

My week's booked! This only happens once a month, usually. Oh, today's payday, not tmr. That's fiiiiine by me!

Today: Checkered time, interrupted by, hopefully, the purchase of slippers/sandals and headbands. I don't like my bangs. -.-
Tuesday: Checkered time again. Waffles at Gelare. Yay!
Wednesday: Hillbilly & SkinnyNadhen. Shisha!
Thursday: Checkered time, AGAIN. Weeeee!
Friday(public holiday!): Asian Civilisations Museum with Kay, Checkered, and his sister (Ms.Bai), followed by shisha in the evening with my mina cousin & her male friend.
Saturday: Not confirmed at the mo. More Checkered time, probably. :)
Sunday: Family day!

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Monday: Back to work. Ah well.

I feel a little heavier than usual, but the weighing scale says I'm 51kg, which actually means I lost two kilograms. While this is no reason for any real concern, I'm disappointed at the thought of possibly further shrunken boobs. BUT, I don't see the difference visually, so I shall just chuck that thought into the vanity closet for now.

Wow, what a self-obsessed bimbo.

Honestly tho, I don't give a damn about my weight anymore. Mmm...never really did...I've always cared more about the overall package and shape more than factual and trustworthy(?) measurements. Weighing yourself is exciting only when done once in a blue moon. Unless you really wanna know how much the shit you release everyday weighs, there's really not much use in it. In fact, if you're trying to lose weight, daily weighing will only dampen your spirits, I think, since such targets can't possibly be achieved overnight.

For me, as long as I can fit comfortably into my jeans, I'm fine. And as long as my arms don't vibrate forever when I wave. I HAVE been feeling them vibrating a little close to an eternity lately, actually. Ah, time to think about having gym sessions. Thank god I don't have tummy flab problems. Now THAT, will drive me a little mad.

Again, I know you don't care.

My boss is taking ages to appear at the office today, and tho I CAN be occupied with outstanding issues that I got to settle, I chose to blog instead. And now I shld stop. Cos this doesn't pay.

Toodles. :)

Due to budget reasons, I just had my last stick for the week. Next time I smoke will be Wednesday, and that'll be shisha with Miss Hillbilly.

Shit, I'm a little high from my smoke. It was a Marlboro light. This is unnatural.

Maybe I'll just do shisha from now on. Mmmm.

I know you probably don't care.

Oh, payday's Tuesday. I'm gonna get new lingerie. YAY!

I normally don't bring up the whole best friend thing with the ppl I'm close to, cos I'm never bothered with labels (different matter with guys tho, cos everyone will wanna know who that guy they see me around with is, and I wldn't wanna have to think for 10 seconds before answering). And when the whole best friend matter gets brought up, that's when I realise that shit, she IS one of my best friends! And then we become best friends. Like Muthu; she announced in primary 3 that we're best friends and I loved her the most, so I was happy with it. Ragani mentioned something best buddy-related and she's the best thing that happened to me in secondary school, and so I knew she was mine. ;) With twinnie, it was a little different tho. It was somehow a mutual understanding, I think. A twinnie thing. :)

And now, Ramkumar Kabetha Bai! I took the first step, in this case. I called her at work just a while ago, and informed her that I've come to realise that she's actually one of my best friends. And after that came assurance that I'm not high, nor extremely bored.

See, I was at the smoking point this morning (the most interesting thought processes happen there) when I, by some getting-together of facts and factors, decided that HEY, I love this girl and she loves me too! So I made a mental note to let her know. And I have. So yay!

And she said she's not a best friend-ish person but feels warm and fuzzy inside, and when asked if she feels like a Nair, replied affirmatively cos apparently, she feels hairier.

I shall celebrate by having mashed potatoes and biscuits with Checkered later (in less than an hour, yay!). Or maybe a dragon fruit.

:-D

They call me D at work. The warehouse man calls me Lady D. Wahahha.

My father calls me Nannuma.

Nephew 1 calls me Bakkamma.

Nephew 2 calls me Ammaiya.

My twinnie calls me Twinnie. <3

Checkered calls me baby/idiot/fool/kombi/etc etc. :) And I call him sweetie pie/baby darlin/idiot/fool/stupid fellow/komban/shioku sundharan/etc etc. :)))

Yes, you can visit the loo now for a little hurl.

You think about how people (or I) behave in different relationships and it's a little...unsettling. Okay, unsettling is the wrong word to use. Guilt-inducing, maybe? Ah, maybe this applies only to some.

There are many things I'm willing to do for Checkered that I wasn't very willing to do for the ex. They may be petty little things, but petty little things are the ones that nag at you, I think. Mmm.

Anyway, Checkered and I aren't a secret anymore. Absolutely everyone who knows us both shld know, unless they're blind/deaf/dumb/ or couldn't care less. Oh and I heard that the ex knows I'm with someone else. I hope he's fine.

I'm not assuming that he's not over me and whatshitnot, it's just that what I gave him was a big blow, and I know it can't be easy to trust again. If I were him, I'd have issues, man. Well he did have issues in the first place, which was part of the reason I felt I shld encourage myself to marry him and let those issues rest, which kinda backfired cos eventually, I got those issues super active and ofcos, larger. Sigh...and to think I spent 4 years coaxing him out of his insecurities, being his best friend, letting myself be included in so many parts of his life, only for it all to go to waste. I shan't include the 5th year, cos that's when I went bad, so to speak. Haha.

Ah, old stuff.

So yes, Checkered(I still wanna call him that cos it's so fun to!) and I aren't a secret anymore. This feels good. And I've promised myself (and him, silently) that I'll be better. And that there'll be no bad 5th year or any year, for that matter.

And now I shall cross my fingers.

*crosses fingers. and toes*

Oh, few days ago, I had a bimbo moment. I was at the smoking point, staring out the window and acting all emo when I felt something hard on one of the fingers on my left hand. I was like wtf was that?! And a second later, I realised I was poking myself with my nail. From a left-hand finger too.

I like my job. It's a little crazy at the start when takin over somebody's coordination job, but it's nothing that can't be handled, ofcos.

Nowadays, I tell my mom (sometimes) when I'm meeting Checkered. She doesn't jump for joy, but I don't get sent looks of disgust and/or disbelief, which is most definitely a start. My father doesn't talk to me about anything of major importance, which I'm fine with. I don't want to...witness his worry. Or something like that.

Do you wonder how you're gonna cope with the loss of your parents? Bloody shittifyingly scary isn't it? Baaaaah.

I should finish up some invoicing.

This was yesterday. That sunflower's from me! Blood, sweat, tears + a sunflower. Haha.



This one, I love. :) So incredibly much.

I got ciggies and ginger tea for less than SGD10 this afternoon. I love my workplace. Who cares that the cheap ciggie-selling mama shop is littered with wolf-whistling idiots? I just want my tea.

Yeah I know I shld stop smoking. And I will, one day. Let me willingly motivate myself.

Ladidadida.

I had thosai and chicken curry for dinner. Oh and idli! 1 thosai, 1 idli, and some unmeasured amount of chicken curry. Yummyummyumm. Oh, and I had fish crackers with Checkered earlier. Yep, and 2 slices of nutella and bread for lunch. And a mommy-made cup of milo for breakfast.

So now you know of all that I've consumed today, besides unrecorded sips of water. Oh and a cold mug of milo now. Are you wondering which one's cold? As in the mug or beverage? Are you wondering like this?;

'Mmmm. I wonder which one's cold. Mmmmmmm. Lalala. La-oh wait. Are they both cold? Mmmm. Mmmmmmmmmm.'

Yep, they're both cold.

I never thought I'd say this at this...enthralling point of time in my life, but shit, I'm a kinda unexcited. A little bored, even. You can see.

Ah, I wish I cld be with Checkered all the time. He excites me. HEHEHE.

:-D

I got a job!

Today was my first day. Pretty okay, actually. Almost everyone I was introduced to giggled a little. I'm one hundred percent sure it wasn't at my hair, cos today was an exceptionally good hair day. Maybe it was cos I'm the first female to be employed in that position, or I'm quite young in comparison to the guy I'm taking over, or cos I'm the only girl in the department and as a result, I'm surrounded by men, men, and more men. At the risk of sounding like a slut, I don't mind. I find that men are generally easier to get along with anyway.

The day before my first day of work (yesterday, duh) I was out reaping the benefits of being a lady on a wednesday night at OBar (yeah, yet again) with 2 girl friends and I downed 5 vodka redbulls, 3 tequila shots and 4 bombay slings, more or less. I got high enough to tell absolutely everyone who so much as glanced at me that we're high and to circle 7Eleven's aisles a couple of times claiming I gotta have a Twiggie (they didn't have any :-/) before settling for a hot dog cos it got stuffed into my mouth by a gf who thought I shld really have a hot dog.

I showed up 10 min early for work tho. YAY! And the day was good. Had slightly violent internal struggles to stay awake about twice when I was being bored to death by some little details, but managed to ask quite smart-assed questions, in the hope that it gets assumed that I need to have a glazed-over look in my tearing eyes to absorb info effectively.

Ah, I need sleep. Good night.

So the problem here is that there's a never-ending supply of crap and sarcasm and temper. Yes, I, the generally super mild-mannered product of equally mild-mannered parents, have a temper. And being typically Saggitarian, the temper surfaces when external forces (external being anyone but me, ofcos) make attempts at controlling movements/freedom/something like that or when smothered while being overprotected.

Ah, I'm starting to sound like how I did when I started this blog some 7 years ago. OMG, 7 YEARS. WTF, WHERE DID THOSE YEARS GO? Oh. Digression over. Yes, as I was saying. It's like being a teenager again, and at my 24th year of consciousness (well, mostly), it's kinda unfunny. Not to mention uncomfy. There's this feeling of vague...insignificance. Okay, I don't need anything to prove how much my existence is worth and all that shit cos I know how much I am loved and that love I give is appreciated and wanted even, and if I were to disappear there'd be many broken hearts and blah blah blah plus blah. On the other hand, I'm not considering the part where if I were entirely non-existent, noone'd give a damn cos honestly, if I weren't here, I wldn't give a damn either, and neither do I want to speculate on the fact that I'm terribly un-established for someone my age (tho I really shld...but since I'm kinda working on that, that little factor shall slide for the mo). And here's where you probably wonder wtf I'm driving at.

Beats me. I'm tryin to figure that out myself.

Actually. The feeling of insignificance I mentioned I was 'suffering' from probably comes from my...being a teenager again. In love with a boy whom my family is convinced is bad news, having phone curfews (YES, phone curfew. I didn't know what that even meant till a few months ago), being watched day and night to make sure I don't...I dunno, go get myself pregnant, maybe. I can't blame my family for being protective and apprehensive about my choices, considerin the past/present but I sure can blame them fully for being over-protective and over-apprehensive and downright stifling. I know I should be more understanding but shit lah, I can't do that. Cos the tension's here, and I can feel it in every bone sometimes, and when I do, I really don't give a damn who loves me enough to wanna keep me safe cos all I wanna do is just go away. Which is when I remember that to get lost wld be the cowardly way of dealing with family, and so, I sit down and force my tears out. Having a little cry does make you feel at least a little better, you know.

All this was my doing, to tell you the truth. My decisions aren't the smartest sometimes; that much's been made obvious to pretty much everyone who knows me now. And my family knows this the best. Haha. What they fail to realise though, is that since I fucked up a few ppl's 2009 and one person's trust and dreams and blah, I must have realised the weight my actions and decisions carry, and that hereon, will choose my paths carefully. BUT NO. I'm still the bloody thick-skinned bimbo who's got no bloody clue as to what she wants cos HEY, she's made a mistake before, so she's gonna fuck it up again, WEEEEE!

I AM a bit stupid, I know. But I'm smart enough to not self-destruct. I'm ready to be called idealistic or accused of being too quick to decide, cos I honestly believe Checkered and I will last. This feels different in a way that only I will know how. I mean, shit, I shld bloody know, considering. If Checkered and I don't end up together, I swear karma's to blame. Ah, touchwood. And bah, this isn't even really about Checkered and I. It's about ME.

Have some faith in me, dammit.

Screw it lah. No point ranting. Weird how that's coming after a big bout of word-diarrhoea. Well...not much I can do about it for now, so yeah, no use. Now it's just up to us to deal with it. And to me to show that I've grown up a little.

So wish me luck.

My Ragani visited my blog recently! Weeeeeeeeeee. I is still waiting for your caaaaa-aaaaall. *makes an irritating sing-song voice* Oh, but take your time darlin, I've only got a whole lot of nothing to do. *smooches*

Wow. I really need a job. Not just cos my cash possession's at minus value (tho that really shld be the most weighty reason), but also cos I can't stand being home. Got a couple of reasons for it, but I've no time to elaborate, and probably shldn't anyway.

Ah well. Got to go.

I'm in love with this song. Haha, I rmbr Kamil used to be able to do a kick-ass impression of Macy Gray. You guys (with the exception of my excellent-memoried twinnie) probably don't rmbr him cos I mentioned him on my blog light years ago. Ah, he's in a super serious relationship with his gf of 3 years! Isn't this exciting? We're all settling down, some way or other. I think.

Interview in a bit. Gotta go shave my legs. Bleurgh. Being a malayalee girl has its downsides. Oh, Checkered was initially mildly shocked at the amount of hair I possess, but he's gotten over it. Almost. *nods*

Ragani! I miss you like how a starved doggy would miss a bone. Or boner. ;) Except now the whole doggy part doesn't make any sense, unless we're talkin abt that dog in Meet The Fockers.

Ah, I'll stop right here. Blog later. :-*

Uh oh. I just cracked my knuckles to start writing and now, I feel nature calling! Umm. Be right back!

Ah, back. Isn't it glorious how the tummy feels and looks so wonderfully flat after a good session of 'release'? And yes, I will move on to other topics, one of them being...

Being...

Beeeeeeing...............

Sigh. I dunno.

Hunger, maybe. Not world hunger, but mine. Not financial, emotional or anything ambition-related. I feel like having a fried egg or 2. Mmm.

Oh oh oh, I love peas. Do you too? I'm addicted to adding peas to my eggs. It's like this, I sautee the peas as much as I possibly can without having them all popped out to Mars, then I add a chopped tomato at a higher flame so that it won't become mush, and then I add finely chopped and crushed (crushing is soooo fun!) garlic and push the stuff around in the pan for a bit before adding as much chilli powder as I feel like having, and pepper and salt ofcos, and in a minute, I'll get the beaten eggs poured over those things, throw it around while it solidifies and get it to slightly burn a little (cos it's gorgeous that way) and sit down in front of the tv while The Nanny's on.

And that's precisely what I'm gonna do now.

*blows kisses*

Nephew #1 drew a picture of me and showed it to me saying, "This is angry Bakkamma". Sigh. He was such a disobedient 4-yr-old over the weekend and my patience, tho often almost infinite, decided to tremble and burn at the 8457934th re-realisation that not being able to get a child to listen to you SUCKS. My heart did feel a sniffly pull when I once saw his little face change while I stared and barked down at it.

Ah, thank god I'm not married. Okay I still am, but I mean thank god I'm not gonna stay married now, and have ages to go till I've to start thinkin abt having kids. Blame my sisters for exposing me to the world of parenting which seems to, to a third party, translate to lack of personal time, personal space, personal anything. Ah, but I've promised myself I'll have better parenting techniques. My nephews sleep anytime between 11pm to 1am. THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN TO ME.

Oh, I just re-read what I wrote. 'Bakkamma' is a meaningless name my nephew specially gave me. :-D Aiyah. I love his Ben10-loving little backside. Still rmbr the time I teared when he was about 3 months old and smiled in his sleep in my arms. His eyelids were fluttering; some dream about milk and big, loving faces, probably.

Twinnie's gone back. I miss her not-little-at-all backside. Ah, I'll probably/hopefully be seeing her in half a year, so that's not so bad. Oh and Ragani! No news from you at all. Reply, BITCH! That 'BITCH!' drips with creamy off-white doses of longing and love. Shit, that sounds so wrong.

Ah. I need to be on the phone.

Kay. Meet up soon? =D