Let me tell you what kind of girl I am.

I will get wet in the rain in a white shirt; I'll carry my sandals and walk barefoot in a shopping mall; I'll indulge in the notion that the sun shines only for me for a few miliseconds; I'll go out with you if I don't really like you cos I'll wanna discover your good points (if you have any); I'll bake into the wee hours of the morning to tire myself out, have a hot brownie and giggle to myself; I'll dance to my favourite songs in the shower; I'll choose a handmade card over any branded/pricey gift; I'll hunt for some canvas and paint and create (happens when I feel like I'm in love); I'll ponder for hours about the past, the what-ifs, and be thankful for the present; I'll smile at you so that you'll smile at me; I'll spend hours sniffing at you if I love you very much; I'll not like it if you paid for me unless I'm comfy with you; I'll give you flowers if I love you; I'll willingly be stupid and trust you cos my gut tells me to, and some time later, I'll rethink the whole thing and decide not to trust you; I'll then trust you again; I'll know I might be kind of screwed; but I'll get the feeling I might never want to let you go.

I'm alone at mac at funan IT mall. Y'know, it's nice to be alone sometimes.

But I miss you. I like the way this feels. For now.

*grins just a wee bit*

There's a lightness in my heart that shouldn't be there, but I won't question it. If you find gold coins under your pillow instead of your rotten tooth, you just shut the hell up.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt


I think that might be the saddest song I've ever heard. One can't help but feel a wee bit pathetic while listening to that song, reading those lyrics, bingeing on brownies, and waiting to feel fat.

My flooble chatbox either died on me, or disappeared off the face of the earth. Regardless of what actually happened, it's not coming back cos CBOX is here. So say hello!

No really, say hello. I'd love to hear from you. Even if your life sucks and you wanna take it out on me and tell me I'm shit. Yay me.

Twinnie, I miss you. Ragani, I miss you, and PLS contact me. Jeevitha, I miss you too. Kit, I'm gonna miss you. I miss my girlfriends. I seem to be around guys most of the time cos they're less complicated. Well yes they generally are, as long as they don't wish you were with them when they're alone in their rooms late in the night.

V. Ragani reads my blog. She drops by sometimes, gets herself updated, and moves on very very quietly. She does not tag much. That's alright, cos I love her.

I sent her an email on August 30th to ask her how she's been doing since she landed in Finland, and there's been no reply to date! The atrocity of it all is so magnificent that I find myself choking in it's... umm... magnificence!

But that's alright too. Cos I still love her. Sigh.

Maybe this's some karmaic payback. I've not replied to Sara's few-week-old email. ANYWAY, speaking of Sara, here's his very first msn convo appearance on my blog, and (hmmmm) probably any platform on the world wide net.


°· her royal freshness ·° says:
so you're bored shitless ah
no date today?!
:-o

Saravanan says:
yup so you can be my virtual date

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
HUR
I don't do cybersex, thank you

Saravanan says:
damn it
plzzzzz
jus for me
plzzzzzzzzzzzz

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
sighhhh

Saravanan says:
men are always men

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fiiine. but we shall discuss the rates first

Saravanan says:
tats wat u are thinking right
okok nice
okok how much issit per hr?
5rp?

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
RP?!
more like SGD5 per min lah

Saravanan says:
5 per min for your face is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fuck you and get lost
HAHAH

Saravanan says:
hey u watch ur language u filthy papaya smelling asshole

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fuck you, you sick duck-like specimen!

Saravanan says:
wtf is a duck like specimen????
u mean I look like a fucking duck omg u stupid JERK

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
that's exactly what I meant, you brinjal-sucking cow!



And we started the conversation out quite civilly, y'know. Talking to the ex gets my skin bubbling very very slightly. In a nice, pleasant, friendly way, ofcos. Does that even make sense?

Out to meet a couple of ppl. Feels good, going out after so long. I love my family very much, but constant exposure to them is maddening, even more so these days. I need to be alone sometimes. Damn, and I need to get a job soon. And I would really like to have a smoke.

Getting there! :)



'The only way to know if a man is trustworthy, is to trust him.'

Special, Dhanya's so special, she's the most special kinda girl in the wooorrld.
Special, she is so special, she's so special that he fell in love with herrr.
Cigarette buds are smelly, and her ass feels like jelly.
Special, Dhanya's so special, she's the most special kinda girl in the wooorrrrllld.

I love that stupid song.