The 23rd is day after tomorrow. I'm psyched. :-D

I need to get something off my chest, sweetie pie.

You must already know that I'm nervous about getting married. I'm sure all those questions like, "Aren't you scared? No? Really?" must be big clues pointing to my state of mind. But I bet you're not entirely sure of my thoughts and it's not your style to ask (cos you assume :-p). So I'll explain.

The thing is, I'm not ready. Honestly. There are quite a number of important parts of my life that are questions without solid answers and you know what they are. What if they don't work out? Would you still be happily married to me? What will your relatives and friends think? My excuse for my current state of affairs, that I'm still young, won't hold for long. For your sake, possibly more than for mine, I hope I make it.

Look in the dictionary and you'll see my face under 'slacker'. I'm a poly dropout and have gotten nowhere above that for what, 5 years? Takes alot of thickness of skin and a genuine slacker's attitude to get thru that in Singapore. Yeah, the financial shit had a part to play, but I could have been more perseverant in trying to get out of it. Now I know you wouldn't be caught dead in a situation like that, cos you're so...different. You're better at this surviving-in-this-world thing. More active, careful, sensible; more adult. Which makes me wonder how you ended up with me, really. My decisions will always affect yours. Even more now since we'll be married in 12 days (according to Sashi's blog's countdown).

What I want to know is, when opposites attract, do they attract forever? Will the differences in opinion eventually drive us apart? Do we truly compliment each other? We're good now, but who knows what sorta problems we'll have thrown at us, man. Maybe we'll fight about who's way to go about doing it. You're as stubborn as I am when you want to be. Too bad I can't pussy-whip you. Don't think I'll want to anyways. :-X

I'm only 22 this year. Though that's not an obscenely young age to get married at, I still have quite a bit of growing up to do. I very readily admit to not being the most mature 22-yr-old I know. But I do sometimes make a conscious effort to be more sensible. So... I just hope you fully understand what you're getting yourself into. I know what I'm getting myself into, tho I can't say that I'm entirely prepared to be part of another family while I'm still grappling with my own. Haha. It helps that I like your family tho. Such a bunch of niiiice weirdoes. I'm very very thankful that they like me back. =)

Soooo. Now you know for sure. I'm worried. Not worried shitless; just a bit worried. But then again, marriage is a gamble, isn't it? I'm hoping and hoping that you and I will be together till the end of our days.

Thank you for having as much trust in me as you do, Jay. I want to marry you now even though I'm not ready. I don't want to wait. Don't know how long I'll take. You're the one I'll be marrying anyways. Even though I might often need some time alone, I want to be closer to you.

Please remain patient with me and love me always.

Russell Peters was HILARIOUS SHIT! Funny, funny, funny! I cannot tell you how fully glad I am that we managed to get tickets. I can honestly say that we got our money's worth, tho I suppose that's quite hard to gauge, considering the product type.

Hope 13-yr-old Shazim had as much fun as we all did. Poor guy. Wahaha.

18 more days till I'm Mrs. Jijay Kumar. =)