My mom saw my right boob. :(

I reached out for my facial scrub from the bathroom, and my mom caught a glimpse. I know she did when she went "I saaaaaw!"

Ah well.

OFFICIALLY SINGLE, BABY!

I shouldn't pull all-nighters, really. My assignment's supposed to be done by now but all I'm doing is nothing, productivity-wise. Should have turned in when the bf did; at least my eyes wouldn't burn when I put on my contacts in a few hours to head off to work. Suppose I'll be early for once. Haha.

That feeling of unrest I mentioned here months ago is back. (Was it here or at the other secret space? Ah, insignificant.) This isn't PMS, cos I'm pretty steady emotionally through out my cycle. Alright I know noone's reading, and if by some miracle, you actually are, I'm sure you don't care if I suffer from PMS or not, but it's 5.27 on a Monday morning and this is the space I've chosen for release.

I think I might be experiencing some sort of...numbness.

How significant is anything, really? Family, friends...love. Relationships. Are they really existent for happy purposes? My answer would be a loud yes, naturally, since I've beautiful people around me whom I know I'm bloody lucky to have. People who love me, whom I love dearly, and treasure very, very much. I don't doubt their importance as individuals, nor the significance of all they have to offer me or the rest of the world.

The question is, while noone understands me well, am I happy? Why the heck doesn't anyone, anyway?

Well I suppose I do keep things to myself. Can't blame me...since my views and explanations are seldom understood, and sometimes regarded nonsensical. But those are my explanations, and they make sense to me. Guess that's probably cos they're the results of MY reasoning and reactions to MY situations. So why bother?

How can you honestly love me without knowing me well?

I try talking. And I try, and then I try some more. Afterwhich I give up and settle for being mad/weird/dumb/. I AM all that, just not by default. I can be immature or mature, insensitive or very aware, but those don't define me. You can't do a label cos I'm a person, not a jar. Everyone gets different sides from me cos everyone's a situation; you get what you give. Most of the time. :)

I daresay noone knows me better than I do. And I do long for that to change...it's tiring having a filter; a wall of sorts. You think someone understands you, then they say something and up goes another layer of bricks.

There's an unexplainable kind of comfort in being alone with your thoughts though, don't you think? Maybe being understood is overrated. :)

I'm going thru my tagged photos on FB and I saw this particular old one with me, a bunch of friends, and 2 guys I've made out with. And now I feel like a slut. Well one is my bf now, but still? Baaaaah.

Bah.

ALRIGHT!

Changed my background and a few colours. I have no idea who that knocked up lady is, but that picture is very very beautiful, I think. I stole those images from the results of a google search for flowers and arranged them as seen above. Wait no...behind. Or beside. Ah, depends on your screen/browser. Anyway. If any of those images are yours, sue me.

My song's different too. Love this one...it's kinda special for a few probably obvious reasons. :)

Oh and yes, new chatterbox! I'll let it sit there to look pretty for a bit before deciding if I shld do away with it. I don't get as much traffic as I did before I closed this space late 2009, and I think that post-specific commenting function shld suffice. Ah, I'll see how.

I'm looking for a part-time/freelance job. Maybe tuition. I signed up at this agency and the only assignment I've been informed of so far is this primary school kid who needed coaching in english, math and HINDI. I am very aware that I did not list hindi as one of subjects I can do. Must be cos I'm indian. (Oooo bollywood is indian, so all things indian are bollywood.) I cursed under my breath but forced a smiley in my reply to the agency.

My assignments aren't keeping me awake. Sigh.

Good night.