Which That '70s Show Character Are You?



Dhanya, you're like Kelso







Good looks and good luck with members of the opposite sex? That's Kelso. And like Kelso, you're a likeable character who adds fun and excitement to any scene. Whether you're goofing around, cracking jokes, or being the butt of a joke, you definitely make things much more interesting.



We're not saying you're as ditzy as the guy, but you certainly have his charm. So what if he's a little gullible? It makes him all the more endearing, and besides, he did score higher than Eric on the SATs. We bet you've probably got a few surprises up your sleeve too. Far out!



WTF?!!! He's the DUMBEST ASS I've ever come across, man!



BAH BAH BAH!!!

Did this test at Tickle. Can't believe the results!





Who's Your Music Match?

Dhanya, your music match is a Hot Hip-Hopper







The world of hip-hop won't be the same after you bust on the scene. With your unique blend of personality and upbeat energy, you put a new spin on anything just like your music match Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Spontaneous and energetic, you have a good time mixing it up.



Whether you're hanging with your girls, shopping at the mall, or chilling at home, you know how to liven up even the dullest of moments. All your friends know that there's no such thing as boring when you're around. You're like a breath of fresh air who makes the same old, same old seem totally new. And that's how you get the party started!



J's told me a couple of times that I look like Fergie. And now, a net test is saying it? Ppl, I'm no Fergie!



Hmph.



It's not that I hate her or something. I just get bothered when ppl tell me I look or behave like someone else. I feel like I'm becoming less unique!



I look like, and talk like Rose McGowan, Paige from Charmed. I must admit it, though it took me a long time to. Now it's Fergie?!



Tell me I don't look like her, ppl?



*gets on knees and begs with a beseeching look*



This blogpost is officially the stupidest one so far. But I'm running late, no time to sound good. See ya later alligator!

I was having breakfast in front of the TV as usual today. My mom walked past the hall but seeing wat was on TV, stopped and watched for a bit.



Know the advert where this lady with reasonably-sized boobs that are squeezed together goes to a playground where 2 other women gawk at her boobs and it turns out she's got 2 kids cos they run to her and hug her? Ok, that's a long sentence. But very comprehendable! Well yeah, my mom watched the advert, which is for breast firming/enhancement and she had some things to say, and she chose me as her audience.



Mom: I don't know why these women have to go for all these things. Can't they appreciate their own bodies?

Me: (silence)

Mom: Don't you feel the same?

Me: Well yeah.

Mom: Ppl are just so unsatisfied. Doesn't mean change is good, y'know?

Me: Yah, but after giving birth, when your boobs sag, I think it's fine to do some firming up and only that.

Mom: Why? Why must we always please the men?

Me: It's not to please them, it's for us to feel good about ourselves.

Mom: Please lah. You feel good about yourself when ppl look at you and admire you, rite? So it's to please the men!

Me: (silence, but thinking along the lines of 'whatever')

Mom: You'll do it to please the men, rite? I mean, wat else wld you do it for?

Me: I don't PLEASE MEN!

Mom: You're talking too much these days, y'know that?





BAH!!!

Ok, I've officially gotten my enthusiasm for blogging back.



Happified?



I know I am!!!



Must go sleep now though. Heh.



Night, babies!

I don't have any quotable quotes today, so I'll talk about the sadder things in life: insecurities, my insecurities *says it in a 'Bond, James Bond' way*



Q: Gosh, how lame can you get?

A: You've not seen anything yet.



My insecurities and things I'm dissatisfied about



-boobs are too small

-ass is too flat

-ass is too wide

-brain is too slow

-thighs are fat

-toenails aren't pink enough

-arms are fat

-too lazy

-need more memory power

-irresponsible

-strut is too weird

-vain

-too many scars on face, back and legs

-disobedient

-disrespectful to elders

-english is deteriorating too fast for me to do anything

-day-dream too much

-too friendly to some ppl, totally ignore others, for no reason

-too quiet in groups

-too rash in making decisions

-too willing to try anything that holds my fancy

-too trusting

-too suspicious

-too much spitting of nonsense

-no sign of growing up.





Ok, this has turned out to be more about my bad points than insecurities.



I am insecure about a few of these points, though. I don't want anyone to tell me that no, it's not true, I'm wonderful the way I am. I just need to either change me or get used the shit in me. Neither options are easy, being dissatisfied with yourself is never easy.



The thing I can't figure out is, everyone has bad points and good points, and so do I. They're supposed to make me me. So, if I'm introverted, which is widely considered bad, do I have to change? And the fact that I listen more than talk in groups, is that supposed to bother me? Or do I take it as who I am and be fine with it?



I don't know wat to be bothered about and not. Maybe I shld see wat makes me comfortable and wat doesn't, and work from there. Bcos that's wat I'm looking for, total comfort in my own presence.



I don't hate myself, mind you. Like Jackie from That 70s Show once said, "If I cld run into my own arms on a beach, I wld."

Ok, I think I'll do some quotable quotes. Hopefully I don't grow taller and fairer, lose my boobs and ass and become Melvo.



"Where's my house? I want to see my house" - my 5 yr old nephew, rotating a teeny globe.



"You so fat!" - my 2 yr old niece, to her grandma.



"Really?" - my sis, when I told her I'm going to eat shit, grow fat, and die.



"Dhanya, you have to help me select photo. When you read this and I am in the office, we have to do this. Thank you." - my boss's email.



"I don't do it all the time what. Spoilsport lah you." - my sister, when I complained bcos she gave my ass a flying kick.



"Why's her stomach like that?" - another sister, who's 28, on Britney Spears.



"Go vacuum." - my mom, when I told her not to disturb me as I was going to start writing.



"I drinking Pesi(Pepsi)! You cannot do like that!" - my niece, when I kissed her.



"Why? You're wasting shampoo, y'know." - my mom, on my refusal to wash my hair only once a week.



"Daddy!" my niece, on being asked who's the most beautiful girl (correct answer, she).



Ok, I've run out of ideas. When I've got more, I'll put it up here!



Oh oh, here's a quotable convo, between me and my mom:



Mom : I don't look nice anymore. (peering at herself in the mirror)

Me : That's not possible, not with a face like that.

Mom : Shut up lah you. (walks away)



Now I know where I got my tendencies towards feeling insecure and unsatisfied sometimes from.

Nothing to write, nothing to say! Bored.



NITE!

I just don't feel like blogging.



Help?



Oh well...I've been doing a one-week teaching assignment at a secondary school, Speech and Drama for Sec 1s. It ends tmr. Thank god! Most of them are fine but some are shitty. Especially this chinese guy who kept appearing behind me and asking me for my number. He progressed the next day to telling me I've got a sexy body and that he likes my lips.



WTF, man. I'm the bloody teacher!



And wat's it with people and my lips? I've got lips that are perpetually pouting, naturally. And that's putting it mildly. It's obviously a facial flaw, so where's the sensitivity? *rolls eyes*



So I finish tmr and start on another job tmr too. See, I go for the second job the first half of the day, and after lunch, I'm at the school for an hour. And Thursday, I'm back to the 2nd. Confused? Heh!



Heard of Hot Magazine? I've not, till now, that is. I think it's relatively new. Then again, I'm not sure. So, I'm doing administration there.



I went for the interview yesterday, actually. This girl was waiting to be interviewed and immediately, we started talking and laughing. She thought I was applying to model, it seems. Weird, rite?!! I gave her a surprised look and shyly muttered a thank you.



You ppl know (retracted)? A Singaporean model? Well she's half-(retracted) and half-(retracted), and for a Singaporean model's standards, very successful. She hosted this show called (retracted) too, some years back. She still does fashion shows and recently, she appeared in a Nivea advert. Why am I talking about her? Cos she's sorta my sister-in-law. She married my dad's sister's son, who's my cousin.



There was this pre-nuptial ceremony (the wedding went Hindu-styled) and my parents and I attended it. The (retracted)s saw me and decided I shld try out modelling, saying I've got the face for it or something. (Retracted)'s sister actually approached me and told me I had good features and that I shld model. Mr.Simon even went to my father and started talking to him about the possibility of me becoming a model. I was freaked, man!



That was the start of my some sort of obsession with modelling. I'd never thought of it before, and when the idea was presented to me, I found it ridiculous. But I thought about it and realised it wasn't ridiculous, not at all. Becoming a model wasn't such a bad idea!



So I embarked on Operation Convince Parental Board. That took 2 years. Now that I'm given the green light, I'm free to do it. But I don't feel the same enthusiasm anymore. I just don't see much use in it, you know? Yes, it wld be fun to give poses and scowl but where's that going to bring me? Not anywhere significant. So I'm still toying with the idea, and it seems to not have much of a chance.



So when ppl tell me I shld be a model, I'm just flattered, but don't take it seriously. What's the big deal being a model anyway. Claudia Schiffer isn't even pretty, man!



I'm gettin very very sleepy. J went offline a few minutes ago, not much reasons to stay awake further. Think I'll go now.



Sorry about the attitude, ppl. I love having a blog and all, it's just that I'm going through a blogging-no-fun phase. Been there before, will be out of it soon :-)



Love all of you!!

I don't feel like blogging. But don't fret, I shall, I shall.



*drags feet*



Those of you who keep constant contact with me shld know I've got a job....ah...just when I start bloggin, my mom screams.



Alrite. See you ppl. Nite!



Blog tmr, I promise. :-)

I'm back, babies!



Got loads to write about, man! Part III of Saturday's Happenings, and stuff that happened on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.



*staggers at the weight of responsibily*



No time to waste! Might not be able to do all today, though. :-(





Part III of Saturday's Happenings



Alrite, so we were playing Old Maid and I lost 3 times in a row (shut up, Mel!). And wat did we do after that? Shit...I forgot! I've been putting this off for so long, I forgot!



*bangs head on wall 23 times*



Alrite, the things I'm gonna talk about are not going to be in the correct sequence, and may not be absolutely 100% accurate. So Kit and Melvo, got anything to say, don't open your mouths, ok? Or I'll steal your keyboards.



Well we were playing and...we were playing and....playing and playing and goofing. And Kit was eating marshmallows. Melvo took a pic of Kit sitting on my ass, as in me lying on my tummy and she sitting on me but I don't think it turned out well, cos Kit didn't publish it in her blog. Oh and Kit's little cousins were jumping about the room for a while, so Kit and I jumped around after they left too. And she showed Mel and me her ballet creation, a gallop kinda thingie. I just jumped across the room, but Mel really galloped. He was good! Hats off to you, Melvo.



Oh and that's about when J smsed me saying he already reached the place. It was around 8, I think. I know, it's kinda late to start a barbecue. See, they got into an accident. Nobody was hurt, thank god. The front of the car was smashed though. Poor poor J. He loves his car so much. *gives J a tight tight hug* You'll get it back soon, ok? There there. :-)



So we had a little sms convo, a few minutes of phone convo, and it was decided that Mel, Kit and I were going to 'pass by' J and his family. It wasn't as easy as we thought, man.



*cringes in horror at recollection*



We walked around the whole of Pasir Ris Park. I'm not joking, no. I wish I was. The barbecue pits were no where in sight. See, he was at Pit I, and all the pits we saw were numbered, as in Pit 1, Pit 2, and so on. So, we were just walking and walking and walking, stopping to ask for directions, desperately trying to get our bearings. Told you to go on home, Kit! But what did you do? You didn't listen, saying your conscience wld prick you. Bah! Melvo had a friend waiting for him at Downtown East. Feel so guilty.



*flashes Melvo, Kit and her sister a deeply regretful, guilty look*



Next time, Kit, when I say I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer, believe me.



When we finally reached the place, everyone sat on the bench, except me. So they talked to J, and immediately complained to him about how much they walked to come see him. It was funny to see, really! But I was feeling a little nervous, cos J's family was just a few metres away. The anxiety worsened when J suggested I go see his folks. Kit and Mel didn't help either, they were saying "Go lah Dhanya! Just do it, man!"



After alot of persuasion, I went, with J by my side. It was horrifying, man. I kept checking if my underwear cld be seen, if my hair was neat (which it wasn't), if my tummy was too visible (which it was), and such. Not fun!



J introduced me to his cousins, aunts and lastly, his parents and little sister. So I smiled and said hello to everyone. I desperately wanted to make them see me as a good girl, which actually wldn't be hard, cos I am an exceptionally nice person with a big big heart. (HAHAHHA) But looks can deceive, and I'm not sure how I come across. Just hope that that night, I looked like an untidy angel. Fat hope.



J's mom asked me to eat but I told her I was too full to eat anything. She was smiling at me, but not really at me, y'know? She was sort of thinking about something else. And J's dad looked very familiar, but cldn't place him. Hmph. He was smiling at me too. :-)



Oh and J's little sister, Aishwarya, was very cute. :-D She had this little smile on and didn't speak a word even though I shook her hands. She too reminded me of someone, whom I cldn't place. Me and my memory!



I said I had to go home cos it was late, said bye to all and left. I felt like I wanted to burst man! My shoulders were hunching around my face.



But it wasn't that bad, now I think about it.



Shit, mom's screaming again.



BAH!!!

I'm back, for Part II of Saturday's Happenings.



*clap of thunder*



Where'd I stop? Ah, Kit and Melvo picked me up in a taxi and we proceeded to the chalet/bungalow/thingie.







5.33pm

Said hello to Kit's family and relatives, smiled alot, acted like a good girl. I felt kinda weird though. It was such a family atmosphere, ppl cutting vegetables and crushing peanuts for satay sauce, which was HEAVENLY. I felt like I was intruding. But it was alrite, they were warm enough! :-)



Turns out we had a room to ourselves. That was good, man! We mightn't had that much fun otherwise. The room had a balcony and being a romantic, I was quick to explore it. There wasn't much anyway, just a view of a carpark and a sidewalk and lotsa trees. Kit was happy to see some ang-mohs there, though. We almost immediately went down, after taking some shots of Melvo and me, Kit and me, which I think didn't turn out well, and my ass. Don't ask. And don't go to Kit's blog.







5.52pm

We strolled around the Fisherman's Village area, enjoying wat little breeze there was and talking crap, non-crap, and stuff. Oh and Melvo's in a play! Devdas. Heard of it? It's an old old tale of two lovers, Devdas and Parvathi, being torn from each other. She gets married to an old rich fellow and he spends his time travelling and getting drunk. In the end, he dies thinking of her. Sad, huh? Melvo's playing Devdas! I think he'll love the part where he gets drunk constantly. The play's on December 2nd, and I'm sooo going to make myself free on that day.



Anyways, we sat on a rock on the beach, hoping to catch the sunset when Melvo pointed out that the sun's setting the other side. So Mel took a shot of Kit and me on the rock, which I absolutely loved! Here!







Wonderful, ain't it! Oh, Kit and I decided we shld get married. But J'll not be happy. Boyfriends. Sheesh! *rolls eyes* :-p





Back to the three of us whackjobs. We left the rock, me feeling slightly disappointed I cldn't see the sun set. :-( Oh well...another time. With J. :-D We went to the play corner thingie. There was this huge spiderweb thing that you can climb, all the way to the top. It didn't look intimidating, at all. But when I climbed the first two levels, I knew that I didn't want to go further. I wanted to go down but I cldn't figure out how. Melvo and Kit were way up! Hmph. They saw me struggling way down, so they descended, with the noble intention of helping me. What they did wasn't so noble, though. Kit on one side of me, Mel on the other side. They started shaking shaking shaking the ropes. In turn, I was screaming and shaking, shh shh shaking like a polaroid picture.



*Outkast's Hey Ya plays in the background*



Mel even took a video of it with Kit's digi-cam. I was screaming as if I was being raped, man! Pieces of shit, you two! *fumes*







6.52pm

We see-sawed a little (turns out the 3 of us weigh almost the same) and left for the chalet since it was getting near yummy-yumm-yummm-time. We went straight up to the room, though. The food wasn't ready, and we left it to the trustable hands of Kit's family. :-D



Played some card games, which I inevitably lost. I just suck so bad at games, man! Hmph. Dinner was ready at last, and we stomped down and pigged out. Kit forced barbecued marshmallows on me and Melvo. Hate to admit it, it was nice! All soft and gooooey.



We got the vodka, which wasn't fully vodka anyway, upstairs, where our room was. Kit shouted to her mom or someone, "We're bringing the alcohol up!" Mel and I just cldn't believe it man.



Kit was really excited about the drinks. I was just watching her lit face and happily-swinging ponytail and clapping hands that kept stuffing marshmallows into mine and Mel's mouths. We even took pictures.



The vodka thingies tasted like any other soft drink and a little like cough syrup. So I had only a sip from each flavour. Not standard behaviour for a girl who's waiting to experience her first hangover.



We played Old Maid and I was the Old Maid for 3 times in a row. Wonderful!



Oh shit. Mom screaming again. Be back tmr, for Part III.



Sigh.

Yesterday was a busy day, for my standards. And totally enjoyable! Again, for my standards. Here's the lowdown.







10:15am

Woke up, had breakfast, vacummed (didn't exercise :-( ), bathed, dressed, agonised over my toenails, agonised over spotty forehead, agonised over my mom's insistence that my blouse is up too high (which is usual. Don't know why she still bothers), left my house in a hurry.







12.15pm

Met Aloysius, my ex-classmate, at Pasir Ris MRT Station. I was shocked to see that he didn't change much! Just a little taller and tougher but facial features...nope, nothing's changed. And oh, he's still hairless. No hair, at all! Hmph. I'm green with envy, really. Smooth, smooth legs. Sigh! I helped him choose a card from this cheenafied shop at White Sands. Then we went up to Popular to buy a light blue pen, which I chose too. Down to Coffeebean where he bought me a Vanilla Ice Blended. I forgave him for all the bullying he did to me 2 yrs ago. :-D Then again, he did make me write the card and expected me to come up with the words. I refused to do it alone since it's a card from him to our teacher anyway. The card sounded something like this in the end:



Dear Ms Ng, I love you. You're the best teacher ever. I love your hair. I love your style, and the car that comes with it. Dhanya wrote this card.



Aloysius







1.19pm

We walked to school, cutting through the playground area in the park. Nostalgia, man! I used to swing there sometimes with Kit and Melvo and Char. Don't think we'll do that again, what with this thing between Kit and Char. Melvo and I did last year though. We went to school together, to see our ex- teachers. Then he was like, "WHOA DHANYA! You've changed so much!" cos I lost weight and wasn't wearing the school uniform. Seriously, the school uniform did absolutely nothing for me, except to make me look my most unattractive.



Anyway! Back to Aloysius and me. So we reached school, all hot and sweaty from the walk in the sun, to find no teachers there. Shld have known, man, Saturday afternoon means no friggin teachers! Hmph. So we went to Downtown East, where Aloy played a car race thingie and kept getting free turns. He's good, really! We then went back to White Sands, where we acted good, reading books and all, waiting for another ex-classmate of mine to come, Xin Hui. She finally came and I realised she hadn't changed one bit too. Am I the only one with evolving looks?!



So we had lunch at the foodcourt.







4.45pm

Left the place and walked to the bus stop where Kit, her sister and Melvo'll pick me up from in a taxi. For once, they were late, cos Melvo was late. Like some dominoe effect, huh? They came, I got into the taxi and we zoomed off to the chalet.





I'm sorta running out of time, since my mom's screaming. So I'll stop here and do a part 2 tmr! :-D



Night, babies!

What's Your Mobile Style?



Dhanya, your mobile style is Fast and Furious



Like a well-oiled machine, you keep things moving in the right direction. And your cell style is as quick-paced as you are. To you, a phone is more than a way to stay connected with family and friends. It's a vital tool to make things happen.



Whether you're closing big business deals or making plans for the weekend, you're always thinking two steps ahead. Admit it — you're a multi-tasker, and while walking and chewing gum may be hard for some, you'd likely be juggling oranges at the same time as well. Keep going!



A mover and shaker like you needs a phone that can keep up with your busy ways.









That test was from Tickle.



I never knew there was a handphone person in me, y'know? I've not been having mine for long...few months, I guess? Guess I totally grew into it. I go to sleep with it! Maybe that's a little too much? My mom's freaked. Pls tell me if you do the same!



Kit's bbq tmr evening. Yay!

I'm meeting Kit tmr. At 10.30 am. Can you believe that?!!



The things I do for my friends... *shakes head*





So we'll be going to Little India for lunch, which will actually be my brunch cos I'm waking up so damn early! *screams* Hear that, Kit? I'm screaming, bcos of YOU. *shoots kit a menacing stare*



Anyways...



We'll watch Cinderella, the Hilary Duff one, after lunch. Talk about girly, huh? Pure fun! Being with Kit always brings out my pink side. Just take a look at her pink blog! :-p



After that, she'll go home, I'll hang around some where for a bit, till J comes. That's when I start floating.



I'm the corniest girl on earth.



Need sleep. Lenses hurt. Nighty night!



*floats away*

J just smsed me saying he's back!! YAY!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!



*SOMERSAULTS!!!*

J's coming back today!!!



WOOHOO, man! I'm so happified! =D



And a little worried.



It's gonna be 3pm now and still no word. Hmph. I don't know what time he was supposed to be back. Hope he's not back at midnight! I'll be a bundle of nerves by then, man. Ah well...just gotta wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.



Bleah.

Looks like I can't say some stuff about the way I feel about my ex without some immediate adverse response.



Excuses excuses.



Mr.Ex, I know you were immature at that point of time, you didn't mean it as a test, yadda yadda. It was a test, no matter what you say. Test of my loyalty to you. I never said you meant bad, anyway. "A conscious or unconscious one (the test), I don't know." Get this?



I was never hurt by it, I was just marvelling at how you searched for trouble. Just think about it. What if I actually went ahead and met Sanjay? Wld you spring forth and say, "Yo! I'm Sanjay afterall! Now aren't I smart?" I doubt it. You'd have been devastated and crying or something. And you definitely wldn't be telling me you meant it as a joke.



It was a half-assed joke in the first place.



And about me meeting a person I saw online (for all of you who have no idea wat's happening, that's J), yes, I'm happy you 'let me' go. Thank you very much. But rmbr how much I had to say to make you feel comfortable with it? I even had to say he didn't look good, which was totally untrue by the way. I had to say so much to meet a good friend for coffee. I know no matter wat you told me about trusting me and not trusting the guys I'm out with, the actual fact was, there wasn't full trust in me. Don't deny it, pls. It'd be fruitless to.



I don't know why I didn't love you in the end. I'm so sorry I hurt you. But if you want to think through things and analyse them, sure, go ahead at the expense of your own peace of mind. I wasn't in love with J when I broke up with you. Again, you want to think otherwise, be my guest. As far as I'm concerned, it's useless cos it's not going to change anything anyway.



Oh, and by the way, don't tell your next gf that you like Kiran's boobs and that you've got a sexy poster of her you like looking at. It made me sick, really. Come to think of it, it still makes me sick to think you cld actually tell me that. That's a sort of insensitivity you can't afford to have.



G'luck, bud.

I was watching this movie earlier. This woman was suspicious of her husband and kept following him around, keeping an eye on him, watching his behaviour. Creepy, man. Reminded me of something my ex did. Wat he did wasn't as bad as that, but still it bothered me, so it counts. Or counted.



2 to 4 months into our relationship, I got an email from this guy called Sanjay. The mail went something like, "I saw you at Whitesands...you were wearing a white t-shirt and specs rite....I want to make friends with you...I asked a friend of yours for your mail add, please don't ask me who, he'll kill me...I'd be happy if you replied..," stuff like that. I was freaked that someone saw me in my glasses and actually liked me. I replied, saying I was attached and apologised. I received another mail from him, saying my bf was lucky, and who might that lucky guy be and all that. I can't rmbr if I replied to that. It was 2 years ago. Sanjay went out of my mind as quickly as he came.



I told this to my ex, cos he kept stressing the need to keep nothing from each other. I was never a fan of that, actually. How can you tell your boyfriend absolutely everything that happens? There's just no time for that. And some things wld be better not told, like how there was this guy who kept looking down your t-shirt or was brushing his ass against yours in the train, or how this fellow kept eyeing you from top to bottom, top to bottom, countless times, all the while sitting next to you. The freakiest one was this caucasian who was standing close to me in the train, right in front of me, almost right in my face, staring into my eyes. He just kept staring and staring. Ofcos I wasn't staring back but it still was bad. It took all of my self-restraint keeping my fingernails out of his stupid blue-green eyes.



Back to wat I was saying. So my ex didn't show much reaction. He just asked me who I thought it might be and all that.



A good 5 months or so after Sanjay's email, my ex tells me he's been playing a joke on me all the while. It seems, Sanjay is none other than *gasp* my ex.



I found it sort of funny and laughed. I react very well to jokes played on me. Heh. But a bit later, I didn't find it funny anymore. Wat if I had told 'Sanjay' I was unattached and wld love to meet up with him? Wld that be a joke anymore? Nope, that wld have been bad of me, and I wld be untrustable, and he wld have been hurt. The fact that I didn't respond to 'Sanjay's advances made it a joke. If I had, that'd be a catastrophe. Whatever it is, it was undoubtedly a test. A conscious or unconscious one, I don't know. A test diguised as a joke. Now, when I think about it, I'm disgusted.



I'd never 'test' my bf or husband like that, never. Unless I really need to know if he's screwing around, ofcos.



Ah well.



I'm very hungry. I want to eat.



*tummy rumbles*



I shall go.



P.S: I MISS YOU J! MISSmissMISSmissMISSmiss YOU!

J's gone.



My beloved J.



*sob*



He's left me all alone in lonely, frightening Singapore for sunny sunny Bintan.



It's just 4 days; he left this afternoon and'll be back on Monday. But that doesn't make it any eaa -*sniff*- asierrrr!



Bwoohooohooooooo!!!



No smses, no msn chatting, no phone convos. Nothing! *SOB* Just a possible call which will definitely be too short for words.



=(



I'm going to be lying flat on my stomach in the middle of the house and staring at the windowpanes, willing time to stop crawling and fly. I'm going to gather all the Oreos I can find and stuff them into my mouth and chew, and chew, and chew. And, I'll be playing with my nose stud, trying to make the hole bigger so that maybe, just maybe, I can stick a bamboo pole in. The hole wld end up being bigger than my nose though. Problem.



Sigh.

I'm sick of tip-toeing around my mom, trying my best not to offend her. Whether I go out or not, get to surf the net or not, get to read in peace or not, all depends on her mood. And most of the time, it's not very good. One word:



MENOPAUSE.



*clap of thunder, pees in pants*



When I'm menopausal, I'm going to make sure I drive my kids mad. And I'm going to use menopause as an excuse and be seriously pampered. Chocolates, daisies, truffes, you name it. Even a milk bath, with roses floating around my then-surely-sagging boobs. It's going to be marvellous! *dreams*



I won't bully my husband though. I'll get some special treatment for him too, claiming that him being happy makes me happy. Muahhaha! *evil laughter*



But that's all later, I must endure my mom now. =( Oh well...least I can do, considering how much shit she went through for me (ie: giving birth, bringing up, etc.).



BLEARGH!