I'm in love with this song. Haha, I rmbr Kamil used to be able to do a kick-ass impression of Macy Gray. You guys (with the exception of my excellent-memoried twinnie) probably don't rmbr him cos I mentioned him on my blog light years ago. Ah, he's in a super serious relationship with his gf of 3 years! Isn't this exciting? We're all settling down, some way or other. I think.
Interview in a bit. Gotta go shave my legs. Bleurgh. Being a malayalee girl has its downsides. Oh, Checkered was initially mildly shocked at the amount of hair I possess, but he's gotten over it. Almost. *nods*
Ragani! I miss you like how a starved doggy would miss a bone. Or boner. ;) Except now the whole doggy part doesn't make any sense, unless we're talkin abt that dog in Meet The Fockers.
Ah, I'll stop right here. Blog later. :-*
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Uh oh. I just cracked my knuckles to start writing and now, I feel nature calling! Umm. Be right back!
Ah, back. Isn't it glorious how the tummy feels and looks so wonderfully flat after a good session of 'release'? And yes, I will move on to other topics, one of them being...
Being...
Beeeeeeing...............
Sigh. I dunno.
Hunger, maybe. Not world hunger, but mine. Not financial, emotional or anything ambition-related. I feel like having a fried egg or 2. Mmm.
Oh oh oh, I love peas. Do you too? I'm addicted to adding peas to my eggs. It's like this, I sautee the peas as much as I possibly can without having them all popped out to Mars, then I add a chopped tomato at a higher flame so that it won't become mush, and then I add finely chopped and crushed (crushing is soooo fun!) garlic and push the stuff around in the pan for a bit before adding as much chilli powder as I feel like having, and pepper and salt ofcos, and in a minute, I'll get the beaten eggs poured over those things, throw it around while it solidifies and get it to slightly burn a little (cos it's gorgeous that way) and sit down in front of the tv while The Nanny's on.
And that's precisely what I'm gonna do now.
*blows kisses*
Ah, back. Isn't it glorious how the tummy feels and looks so wonderfully flat after a good session of 'release'? And yes, I will move on to other topics, one of them being...
Being...
Beeeeeeing...............
Sigh. I dunno.
Hunger, maybe. Not world hunger, but mine. Not financial, emotional or anything ambition-related. I feel like having a fried egg or 2. Mmm.
Oh oh oh, I love peas. Do you too? I'm addicted to adding peas to my eggs. It's like this, I sautee the peas as much as I possibly can without having them all popped out to Mars, then I add a chopped tomato at a higher flame so that it won't become mush, and then I add finely chopped and crushed (crushing is soooo fun!) garlic and push the stuff around in the pan for a bit before adding as much chilli powder as I feel like having, and pepper and salt ofcos, and in a minute, I'll get the beaten eggs poured over those things, throw it around while it solidifies and get it to slightly burn a little (cos it's gorgeous that way) and sit down in front of the tv while The Nanny's on.
And that's precisely what I'm gonna do now.
*blows kisses*
Monday, January 25, 2010
Nephew #1 drew a picture of me and showed it to me saying, "This is angry Bakkamma". Sigh. He was such a disobedient 4-yr-old over the weekend and my patience, tho often almost infinite, decided to tremble and burn at the 8457934th re-realisation that not being able to get a child to listen to you SUCKS. My heart did feel a sniffly pull when I once saw his little face change while I stared and barked down at it.
Ah, thank god I'm not married. Okay I still am, but I mean thank god I'm not gonna stay married now, and have ages to go till I've to start thinkin abt having kids. Blame my sisters for exposing me to the world of parenting which seems to, to a third party, translate to lack of personal time, personal space, personal anything. Ah, but I've promised myself I'll have better parenting techniques. My nephews sleep anytime between 11pm to 1am. THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN TO ME.
Oh, I just re-read what I wrote. 'Bakkamma' is a meaningless name my nephew specially gave me. :-D Aiyah. I love his Ben10-loving little backside. Still rmbr the time I teared when he was about 3 months old and smiled in his sleep in my arms. His eyelids were fluttering; some dream about milk and big, loving faces, probably.
Twinnie's gone back. I miss her not-little-at-all backside. Ah, I'll probably/hopefully be seeing her in half a year, so that's not so bad. Oh and Ragani! No news from you at all. Reply, BITCH! That 'BITCH!' drips with creamy off-white doses of longing and love. Shit, that sounds so wrong.
Ah. I need to be on the phone.
Kay. Meet up soon? =D
Ah, thank god I'm not married. Okay I still am, but I mean thank god I'm not gonna stay married now, and have ages to go till I've to start thinkin abt having kids. Blame my sisters for exposing me to the world of parenting which seems to, to a third party, translate to lack of personal time, personal space, personal anything. Ah, but I've promised myself I'll have better parenting techniques. My nephews sleep anytime between 11pm to 1am. THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN TO ME.
Oh, I just re-read what I wrote. 'Bakkamma' is a meaningless name my nephew specially gave me. :-D Aiyah. I love his Ben10-loving little backside. Still rmbr the time I teared when he was about 3 months old and smiled in his sleep in my arms. His eyelids were fluttering; some dream about milk and big, loving faces, probably.
Twinnie's gone back. I miss her not-little-at-all backside. Ah, I'll probably/hopefully be seeing her in half a year, so that's not so bad. Oh and Ragani! No news from you at all. Reply, BITCH! That 'BITCH!' drips with creamy off-white doses of longing and love. Shit, that sounds so wrong.
Ah. I need to be on the phone.
Kay. Meet up soon? =D
Saturday, December 19, 2009
My dad was using Phoebe that day, so I lost my mood to blog. But now, it's baaaaa-aaaack!
I turned 23 about 21 hours ago. 21. Wow, that seems to have been ages away, yet it feels like it happened just like...few months ago. Haha. Tho our 21st birthday party of sorts wasn't the fun-est, we did have a blast, right twinnie? Before the whole thing about the then-fiance screaming at me COS OF UNCOOKED CHICKEN and your mom being upset about it and all. Actually, I think we had the most fun when it was just you, I, Ilyas and Nelvin at the chalet and you and I were in the room upstairs, taking swigs of vodka and giggling down at their barbecueing asses.
Ah, memories, memories.
Just a couple of days and I'll be seeing you, twinnie!!! I wanna laugh like an ass with you. =)
Ragani's leaving Finland today. JOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOY!!
My best friends are coming back! And even if it's only for a month, I'm super duper, wonderfully, honestly, really really really happy about it. :-D
I turned 23 about 21 hours ago. 21. Wow, that seems to have been ages away, yet it feels like it happened just like...few months ago. Haha. Tho our 21st birthday party of sorts wasn't the fun-est, we did have a blast, right twinnie? Before the whole thing about the then-fiance screaming at me COS OF UNCOOKED CHICKEN and your mom being upset about it and all. Actually, I think we had the most fun when it was just you, I, Ilyas and Nelvin at the chalet and you and I were in the room upstairs, taking swigs of vodka and giggling down at their barbecueing asses.
Ah, memories, memories.
Just a couple of days and I'll be seeing you, twinnie!!! I wanna laugh like an ass with you. =)
Ragani's leaving Finland today. JOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOY!!
My best friends are coming back! And even if it's only for a month, I'm super duper, wonderfully, honestly, really really really happy about it. :-D
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
from Sashikumar
reply-to Sashikumar
to dhanyamol@gmail.com
cc dhanya1989@gmail.com,
dhanyanair@gmail.com,
dhanya19@gmail.com,
dhanya2001@yahoo.com,
dhanya27@gmail.com,
dhanya21@gmail.com,
dhanya07@yahoo.com,
dhanyamol@yahoo.com
date Tue, Jun 30, 2009 at 6:27 AM
subject Hai Dhanya
mailed-by rediffmail.com
signed-by rediffmail.com
> >Sashi wrote >Hi, Dhanya, I'm rely sorry 2 Snt ths. bcoz, My Dear Dhanye, I lost evrything 4 you yaar, I Mastrbate 'Self Orgsm' 4 you yaar, Rely I Can't Avd Or stop it. Please, Thr s only one way 2 solve my !. , I'm so rry 4 this yaar.>If U feel good or not, please send your that'. Ok >Yeh,please yaar.
--Sent from MobileRediff--
HAHAHAHAHA! I wonder what the 'that' is. Somebody must have been terribly bored, or horribly horny. Or both cos they often co-exist. Not speaking from experience tho. Errr yeah.
I was baking chicken pie couple of weeks back, and got tipsy on red wine. I felt the need to talk nonsense and it was 3 in the morning which is not the time to call anyone up to talk abt pie, so I decided to assault Phoebe with my wine-breath and dough-fingers. I just love being high!
I'm on to my third glass of wine and I have to admit, I do feel the effects of it. Can be quite disappointing to learn how low your alcohol tolerance is, especially when your good girl friend learns it first when you puke on her pretty green heels in the loo. She'll blame you for it for the next few weeks and all you can do is compliment her looks incessantly cos you can't afford to buy yourself new shoes, let alone her.
Sucks to be broke. It's an arresting state of affairs. You're just... arrested; gotta stay in one place (home). Go out, and you're screwed in the sense that there's nothing you can do except wander around aimlessly hoping home isn't far away cos you can't afford the bus fare since the station's got your pants where you left your wallet. When you're arrested, do the police steal your pants? What if the pants are of sentimental value? Like that piece of clothing in The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants? Do you get extra cash for the time you do in jail if your pants are as famous as that over-celebrated pair?
Glass number four. Ek glassi do glassi theen glassi CHAA!!
I hope my pie-thing turns out okay. Pie-thing cos it's not exactly pie. You got to be at least a teensy bit curious. Thus, I shall elaborate. So. I made this creamy cheesy chicken thing for filling. And dough for pastry (or whatever uncooked pie pastry is called). I was about to roll the dough out to place on the pie dish when some rusty light bulb that shines bloody brightly when I'm high went 'ding', illuminating my entire being by presenting the idea of mashing the dough into the filling, rolling it into a ball, and baking it at 160 degrees Celcius for 40 min. I, ofcos, had no idea if it'll turn out anywhere near decent, so I did one ball which resembled a semi-soggy piece of... well... mush. Also, in case that turned out shitty, I figured I gotta do a mini-pie to make myself feel better about my almost-okay culinary skills, and so I flattened a piece of dough, dumped some filling onto it, and covered it with a thinner piece of (painstakingly) flattened dough. Dough sucks when it sticks to flesh. It really, really does.
Super digression. Opposites attract yes, but in my case, MY ASS. I had to leave him. He loved me. I did too. But love and security wasn't enough. For me.
I'd done the same even if I were ugly. Maybe, if I were ugly, he wouldn't have dated me in the first place. Mmm. Point to consider lazily when the sun's way above me, threatening to turn my skin browner than it's supposed to be. Fair Indian to darker Indian. Or dark Indian. Or the nicer compliment, Black Beauty. But it takes a lot of time under the sun to be black. I don't know exactly how much, and I've noone to turn to for advice on that particular puzzler. And that's fine. Cos it doesn't matter.
The sorta-pies are done.
I've just tried those piping hot items with the stupidity and arguably, courage that the high/drunk and dumb-assed will possess an abundance of. The pie-thing has turned out quite...alright, to say the most. I think it has to be baked longer at a lower temperature. The mini-pie tastes as splendid as my humbleness would allow me to disclose. Maybe a bit on the too-salty side, but nothing a glass of wine cannot temporarily fix.
Oh. Glass number five. Wait. No. Six.
Love is a tricky thing. Tricky tricky tricky.
Can someone tell me when cupid means business? What the fuck is he doing making people who aren't meant to be together fall in love? I'm not sure I like this business of... breaking hearts.
Never had my heart broken. Does karma exist?
Damn.
I married J when I was still looking for the love of my life. DO YOU KNOW HOW SICK THAT IS?
I was an unscrupulous, shit-faced, irresponsible asshole to have thought that I was making the right decision based on the fact that he loved me dearly. I loved him too. Well I still do, in a very distant, less active way. But like I said, it wasn't enough. I wasn't happy with my choice cos I really needed to know, to find out, if I could be truly, liberated-ly happy. I was only 21, and very eager to grow up.
The rest of the dough and filling need to be done. Should I roll it out onto a pie-dish which would be the more traditional and perhaps sensible choice, or make more pie-things or mini-pies?
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
You know that odd feeling where you feel like you might just burst if you don't release something really really soon and you're gonna embarrass yourself immensely even if you're your only audience?
I need to pee.
P.S: In case you don't rmbr, Phoebe's my netbook.
reply-to Sashikumar
to dhanyamol@gmail.com
cc dhanya1989@gmail.com,
dhanyanair@gmail.com,
dhanya19@gmail.com,
dhanya2001@yahoo.com,
dhanya27@gmail.com,
dhanya21@gmail.com,
dhanya07@yahoo.com,
dhanyamol@yahoo.com
date Tue, Jun 30, 2009 at 6:27 AM
subject Hai Dhanya
mailed-by rediffmail.com
signed-by rediffmail.com
> >Sashi wrote >Hi, Dhanya, I'm rely sorry 2 Snt ths. bcoz, My Dear Dhanye, I lost evrything 4 you yaar, I Mastrbate 'Self Orgsm' 4 you yaar, Rely I Can't Avd Or stop it. Please, Thr s only one way 2 solve my !. , I'm so rry 4 this yaar.>If U feel good or not, please send your that'. Ok >Yeh,please yaar.
--Sent from MobileRediff--
HAHAHAHAHA! I wonder what the 'that' is. Somebody must have been terribly bored, or horribly horny. Or both cos they often co-exist. Not speaking from experience tho. Errr yeah.
I was baking chicken pie couple of weeks back, and got tipsy on red wine. I felt the need to talk nonsense and it was 3 in the morning which is not the time to call anyone up to talk abt pie, so I decided to assault Phoebe with my wine-breath and dough-fingers. I just love being high!
I'm on to my third glass of wine and I have to admit, I do feel the effects of it. Can be quite disappointing to learn how low your alcohol tolerance is, especially when your good girl friend learns it first when you puke on her pretty green heels in the loo. She'll blame you for it for the next few weeks and all you can do is compliment her looks incessantly cos you can't afford to buy yourself new shoes, let alone her.
Sucks to be broke. It's an arresting state of affairs. You're just... arrested; gotta stay in one place (home). Go out, and you're screwed in the sense that there's nothing you can do except wander around aimlessly hoping home isn't far away cos you can't afford the bus fare since the station's got your pants where you left your wallet. When you're arrested, do the police steal your pants? What if the pants are of sentimental value? Like that piece of clothing in The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants? Do you get extra cash for the time you do in jail if your pants are as famous as that over-celebrated pair?
Glass number four. Ek glassi do glassi theen glassi CHAA!!
I hope my pie-thing turns out okay. Pie-thing cos it's not exactly pie. You got to be at least a teensy bit curious. Thus, I shall elaborate. So. I made this creamy cheesy chicken thing for filling. And dough for pastry (or whatever uncooked pie pastry is called). I was about to roll the dough out to place on the pie dish when some rusty light bulb that shines bloody brightly when I'm high went 'ding', illuminating my entire being by presenting the idea of mashing the dough into the filling, rolling it into a ball, and baking it at 160 degrees Celcius for 40 min. I, ofcos, had no idea if it'll turn out anywhere near decent, so I did one ball which resembled a semi-soggy piece of... well... mush. Also, in case that turned out shitty, I figured I gotta do a mini-pie to make myself feel better about my almost-okay culinary skills, and so I flattened a piece of dough, dumped some filling onto it, and covered it with a thinner piece of (painstakingly) flattened dough. Dough sucks when it sticks to flesh. It really, really does.
Super digression. Opposites attract yes, but in my case, MY ASS. I had to leave him. He loved me. I did too. But love and security wasn't enough. For me.
I'd done the same even if I were ugly. Maybe, if I were ugly, he wouldn't have dated me in the first place. Mmm. Point to consider lazily when the sun's way above me, threatening to turn my skin browner than it's supposed to be. Fair Indian to darker Indian. Or dark Indian. Or the nicer compliment, Black Beauty. But it takes a lot of time under the sun to be black. I don't know exactly how much, and I've noone to turn to for advice on that particular puzzler. And that's fine. Cos it doesn't matter.
The sorta-pies are done.
I've just tried those piping hot items with the stupidity and arguably, courage that the high/drunk and dumb-assed will possess an abundance of. The pie-thing has turned out quite...alright, to say the most. I think it has to be baked longer at a lower temperature. The mini-pie tastes as splendid as my humbleness would allow me to disclose. Maybe a bit on the too-salty side, but nothing a glass of wine cannot temporarily fix.
Oh. Glass number five. Wait. No. Six.
Love is a tricky thing. Tricky tricky tricky.
Can someone tell me when cupid means business? What the fuck is he doing making people who aren't meant to be together fall in love? I'm not sure I like this business of... breaking hearts.
Never had my heart broken. Does karma exist?
Damn.
I married J when I was still looking for the love of my life. DO YOU KNOW HOW SICK THAT IS?
I was an unscrupulous, shit-faced, irresponsible asshole to have thought that I was making the right decision based on the fact that he loved me dearly. I loved him too. Well I still do, in a very distant, less active way. But like I said, it wasn't enough. I wasn't happy with my choice cos I really needed to know, to find out, if I could be truly, liberated-ly happy. I was only 21, and very eager to grow up.
The rest of the dough and filling need to be done. Should I roll it out onto a pie-dish which would be the more traditional and perhaps sensible choice, or make more pie-things or mini-pies?
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
You know that odd feeling where you feel like you might just burst if you don't release something really really soon and you're gonna embarrass yourself immensely even if you're your only audience?
I need to pee.
P.S: In case you don't rmbr, Phoebe's my netbook.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Looks like i got too excited about blogging soon. That thing got posted twice!
I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
- I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield
Okay that sounds a little sad, but I'm not. And no, I don't bruise easily, and I'm not bruised either. Hahaha.
Things have gotten better. Waaaaaay better than expected. And better so soon!
All I need is to get a job. Hahaha.
So how've YOU been? :-D
I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
- I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield
Okay that sounds a little sad, but I'm not. And no, I don't bruise easily, and I'm not bruised either. Hahaha.
Things have gotten better. Waaaaaay better than expected. And better so soon!
All I need is to get a job. Hahaha.
So how've YOU been? :-D
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The net connection at home sucks ASS. I feel like a lost child, struggling to find super-secureness in WirelessSG and not finding it. Oh well.
How've you guys been?! I miss you all. Yep, ALL of you. And that's not cos my social life's a little shitty(cos my mom's still thinkin I'm gonna get raped now that I'm supposedly sendng out 'single' vibes) and I miss hanging out with ppl in general. It's cos I genuinely miss you guys.
Ah well.
Couple of days ago, I was at Friend A's place for dinner. I'm not close to her and that particular group of old pri school buds at all, but I went cos Checkered Shorts' going, and cos A actually called me up to ask me to come. Weird. Well she DID see me out with my mom some weeks back and invited me over, to which I said 'sure' cos it's only polite to say 'sure' when someone invites you to something that you think you won't be ACTUALLY invited to.
I was friendly, but kinda anti-social. That bunch of ppl used to discuss me in not very flattering ways cos of stuff that Asshole 1 (whom I semi-dated for the shortest period of time) fed them abt me. And they never even talked to me much. Ah well. Since it's such a secondary school thing to do to bitch about someone when you know shit about him/her, I decided to be non-secondary-school-ish and not give it much thought, not hold (much of) a grudge, but just be slightly uninterested. That was pretty easy, cos I really was quite uninterested in talking to them. Okay maybe I've a teeeeny bit of a grudge. Teeeeeeny.
ANYWAYS. I've an exam 2 days from now. Wish me luck!
Oh, and I've cut my hair. It's almost really short. I've been hating it for the past 50+ hours, but now, after having my little fringe straightened, I quite like it. I look a wee bit younger. Yay!
Eh Ragani. You had said you have lots to tell me, and that was last week. Gimme something woman, I'm bloody curious!!!
How've you guys been?! I miss you all. Yep, ALL of you. And that's not cos my social life's a little shitty(cos my mom's still thinkin I'm gonna get raped now that I'm supposedly sendng out 'single' vibes) and I miss hanging out with ppl in general. It's cos I genuinely miss you guys.
Ah well.
Couple of days ago, I was at Friend A's place for dinner. I'm not close to her and that particular group of old pri school buds at all, but I went cos Checkered Shorts' going, and cos A actually called me up to ask me to come. Weird. Well she DID see me out with my mom some weeks back and invited me over, to which I said 'sure' cos it's only polite to say 'sure' when someone invites you to something that you think you won't be ACTUALLY invited to.
I was friendly, but kinda anti-social. That bunch of ppl used to discuss me in not very flattering ways cos of stuff that Asshole 1 (whom I semi-dated for the shortest period of time) fed them abt me. And they never even talked to me much. Ah well. Since it's such a secondary school thing to do to bitch about someone when you know shit about him/her, I decided to be non-secondary-school-ish and not give it much thought, not hold (much of) a grudge, but just be slightly uninterested. That was pretty easy, cos I really was quite uninterested in talking to them. Okay maybe I've a teeeeny bit of a grudge. Teeeeeeny.
ANYWAYS. I've an exam 2 days from now. Wish me luck!
Oh, and I've cut my hair. It's almost really short. I've been hating it for the past 50+ hours, but now, after having my little fringe straightened, I quite like it. I look a wee bit younger. Yay!
Eh Ragani. You had said you have lots to tell me, and that was last week. Gimme something woman, I'm bloody curious!!!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
David says:
hahahhaha
awwww u so kind
hey so u gotten a job yet?
or still finding for one?
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
hehehe
looking for one lah
sigh
haha
David says:
oh haha ok
well what kinda job u looking for?
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
mmm
customer service sorts lah
I like being kept busy that way
no more boring ofice stuff for me!
David says:
hahahah
then i have a job for u!
u interested in applying?
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
okay you are gonna say something daaaammnn stupid
go ahead, say it!
aaaaaaahahhaha
David says:
hhahahhaha
ok la dun wanna be so bad to u
hahhaha
poor u...
see im good to u!!
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
whaat!
so anti-climax!
pls lah, tell me tell me tell me!
hahaha
David says:
hahahhahaha
i wanted to say.........
KISS MY ASS
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
hahahhaha
David says:
thats the biggest and wildest job u will get
hahahhahahaha
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
bloody...!!!!!
OMG AAAAHAHAHAHA!
you great, big stupid!
David says:
hahahahah
yes i know
and it goes on;
David says:
hahahhaha
well everyone will be wondering how come u havent kissed my ass
since its so attractive
my hot cross brown buns
hahahaha
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
oh my god
your hot brown buns.
HAHAHAHHAHHAA
Monday, October 12, 2009
Back. Right. As I was saying, I found out Checkered Shorts's really into me. Which made me realise that staying married is not an option, especially since I married for the wrong reasons. But let's not go into that now cos it's a much-discussed-and-therefore-bloodyfrustrating-topic. Checkered's interest didn't break my marriage; it just acted as a catalyst; A catalyst, not THE catalyst. It irritates me terribly when ppl just don't understand that I didn't plain leave one guy for another. It's not that easy/simple. Ah. Where is this going? I shall come back to the story.
SO. I had trust issues. I found it hard to believe that someone who claims to have fallen in love with me while knowing fully well that I was engaged/married/super unavailable could be telling the truth. I don't think I have to explain what my concerns were and why; they must be obvious. My family had the same concerns (and a few extra cos they believe Checkered broke my marriage aaaand listen to this, they 'found out' he's done some black magic on me but that's a different @&@!#^ matter altogether) and in a nutshell, they quite hate him.
I, on the other hand, have decided to follow my heart and guts for once, and trust him.
This is why. Earlier this week, my brother-in-law (who had a not-so-friendly little chat with Checkered, and has very recently decided to become my good friend/advisor/and now semi-disciplinarian since my dad, tho I love him very much the way he is, is as passive as passive can be) told me that if Checkered doesn't stop seeing me, he'll either have him beaten up (uh huh, you read that right), or have his parents notified that he's getting upclose and personal with a married woman, and the former threat will result in his parents finding out anyway. That's a bit of a no-no for the mo cos Checkered feels the need to prove himself trustworthy to his folks first by establishing himself a little before letting them know he wants to be with a girl who was once married. Or something like that. I know it might sound bullshittish to some cos if a guy really loves a girl, there's nothing else that matters, right? Not exactly. Especially if the girl's say... married.
Anyways. I realise I've not yet revealed the reason I've grown to trust him. The reason is, he's not running away. My family might just decide to take matters into their hands anytime and let his family know, but he still wants in.
Somehow, within all the mess, I manage to find this quite perfect. For the moment, this is just really really perfect. For the first time in my life (love-wise), I'm following my heart and guts and not my mind. I'm listening to that little voice in my head that told me that Jay and I won't last. It's the same voice that I mentioned in one of my earlier posts which tells me to brush my teeth before I go to sleep and to stop drinking when I get too tipsy. Haha. Sounds a little stupid, I know. But I know it's not.
I love looking at his face. Love just watching him. Love it when he smiles for me. It feels so comfy and safe with him and I wanna sniff at him for hours and kiss his dimples. And now that I know I can trust him, I know that he's mine and he wants it that way. And I'm now ready to be his. Weird how it can feel so natural. We still do have moments where we can't help but go 'oh my god. it's us!' and 'shit, you and me?!' and the ocassional more simple 'wow. =)'. Many people, including you now, know about us, except for the families, which is unfortunate... but it's just how it has to be right now. They're not ready for us, and I don't mind waiting.
But if this doesn't work out, I will never listen to that little voice in my head again.
By the way, I still can't remember what that secret that I promised you guys was. I know it was some stupid little thing I thought up of when I was bored. Maybe it's best left forgotten. HAHA.
SO. I had trust issues. I found it hard to believe that someone who claims to have fallen in love with me while knowing fully well that I was engaged/married/super unavailable could be telling the truth. I don't think I have to explain what my concerns were and why; they must be obvious. My family had the same concerns (and a few extra cos they believe Checkered broke my marriage aaaand listen to this, they 'found out' he's done some black magic on me but that's a different @&@!#^ matter altogether) and in a nutshell, they quite hate him.
I, on the other hand, have decided to follow my heart and guts for once, and trust him.
This is why. Earlier this week, my brother-in-law (who had a not-so-friendly little chat with Checkered, and has very recently decided to become my good friend/advisor/and now semi-disciplinarian since my dad, tho I love him very much the way he is, is as passive as passive can be) told me that if Checkered doesn't stop seeing me, he'll either have him beaten up (uh huh, you read that right), or have his parents notified that he's getting upclose and personal with a married woman, and the former threat will result in his parents finding out anyway. That's a bit of a no-no for the mo cos Checkered feels the need to prove himself trustworthy to his folks first by establishing himself a little before letting them know he wants to be with a girl who was once married. Or something like that. I know it might sound bullshittish to some cos if a guy really loves a girl, there's nothing else that matters, right? Not exactly. Especially if the girl's say... married.
Anyways. I realise I've not yet revealed the reason I've grown to trust him. The reason is, he's not running away. My family might just decide to take matters into their hands anytime and let his family know, but he still wants in.
Somehow, within all the mess, I manage to find this quite perfect. For the moment, this is just really really perfect. For the first time in my life (love-wise), I'm following my heart and guts and not my mind. I'm listening to that little voice in my head that told me that Jay and I won't last. It's the same voice that I mentioned in one of my earlier posts which tells me to brush my teeth before I go to sleep and to stop drinking when I get too tipsy. Haha. Sounds a little stupid, I know. But I know it's not.
I love looking at his face. Love just watching him. Love it when he smiles for me. It feels so comfy and safe with him and I wanna sniff at him for hours and kiss his dimples. And now that I know I can trust him, I know that he's mine and he wants it that way. And I'm now ready to be his. Weird how it can feel so natural. We still do have moments where we can't help but go 'oh my god. it's us!' and 'shit, you and me?!' and the ocassional more simple 'wow. =)'. Many people, including you now, know about us, except for the families, which is unfortunate... but it's just how it has to be right now. They're not ready for us, and I don't mind waiting.
But if this doesn't work out, I will never listen to that little voice in my head again.
By the way, I still can't remember what that secret that I promised you guys was. I know it was some stupid little thing I thought up of when I was bored. Maybe it's best left forgotten. HAHA.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I had durians and milo for breakfast yesterday. Lovely.
Was staring at the same page I'm looking at now around the same time yesterday and the day before, tryin to remember the secret I promised to let you guys in on. How anti-climax.
Oh by the way people, I'm in a relationship now. I'm still married at the mo, tho. Married to one, in love with another. I AM taking things slightly slow, tho it might not seem like it. Going with the flow. Following the winds. And what else have you. AND, there is a whole huge tamil movie inspired story to it.
Do you have the time?
Checkered Shorts and I go a long long way back, all the way to primary school. We were in the same school, same second language class, and YET, we don't remember seeing each other at all. I only knew him by name, and he by mine (but he put the face of one Diana to my name, that dumbass). We officially met again (bless Teddy Bear, the lovely, hairy mutual friend for keepin in contact with me) about 8 years ago, which was when he realised Diana isn't me. But no, there were no sparks then. In fact, there weren't any till a year ago.
See, we never talked much, nor did we meet up alone. We just saw each other couple of times a year when I'm free to join that particular group of friends for coffee. All that changed one night late June 2008 when our friends didn't turn up and it was just the 2 of us left to entertain each other thru dinner. Kinda made us realise that we can actually hang out and not feel bored of each other. And that was the beginning to everything.
I began to wonder how it'd be like to be with him, cos he's just so suited to me character-wise. Laidback...relaxed...taking things as they come. And I loved him quite dearly, as a friend. But as you all know, I was attached then, engaged even. Soooo it was a oh-well-too-bad thing. Until middle this year, which was when I found out he'd actually fallen in love with me.
Ah. The nephew needs to be fed. Continue later!
Was staring at the same page I'm looking at now around the same time yesterday and the day before, tryin to remember the secret I promised to let you guys in on. How anti-climax.
Oh by the way people, I'm in a relationship now. I'm still married at the mo, tho. Married to one, in love with another. I AM taking things slightly slow, tho it might not seem like it. Going with the flow. Following the winds. And what else have you. AND, there is a whole huge tamil movie inspired story to it.
Do you have the time?
Checkered Shorts and I go a long long way back, all the way to primary school. We were in the same school, same second language class, and YET, we don't remember seeing each other at all. I only knew him by name, and he by mine (but he put the face of one Diana to my name, that dumbass). We officially met again (bless Teddy Bear, the lovely, hairy mutual friend for keepin in contact with me) about 8 years ago, which was when he realised Diana isn't me. But no, there were no sparks then. In fact, there weren't any till a year ago.
See, we never talked much, nor did we meet up alone. We just saw each other couple of times a year when I'm free to join that particular group of friends for coffee. All that changed one night late June 2008 when our friends didn't turn up and it was just the 2 of us left to entertain each other thru dinner. Kinda made us realise that we can actually hang out and not feel bored of each other. And that was the beginning to everything.
I began to wonder how it'd be like to be with him, cos he's just so suited to me character-wise. Laidback...relaxed...taking things as they come. And I loved him quite dearly, as a friend. But as you all know, I was attached then, engaged even. Soooo it was a oh-well-too-bad thing. Until middle this year, which was when I found out he'd actually fallen in love with me.
Ah. The nephew needs to be fed. Continue later!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Let me tell you what kind of girl I am.
I will get wet in the rain in a white shirt; I'll carry my sandals and walk barefoot in a shopping mall; I'll indulge in the notion that the sun shines only for me for a few miliseconds; I'll go out with you if I don't really like you cos I'll wanna discover your good points (if you have any); I'll bake into the wee hours of the morning to tire myself out, have a hot brownie and giggle to myself; I'll dance to my favourite songs in the shower; I'll choose a handmade card over any branded/pricey gift; I'll hunt for some canvas and paint and create (happens when I feel like I'm in love); I'll ponder for hours about the past, the what-ifs, and be thankful for the present; I'll smile at you so that you'll smile at me; I'll spend hours sniffing at you if I love you very much; I'll not like it if you paid for me unless I'm comfy with you; I'll give you flowers if I love you; I'll willingly be stupid and trust you cos my gut tells me to, and some time later, I'll rethink the whole thing and decide not to trust you; I'll then trust you again; I'll know I might be kind of screwed; but I'll get the feeling I might never want to let you go.
I will get wet in the rain in a white shirt; I'll carry my sandals and walk barefoot in a shopping mall; I'll indulge in the notion that the sun shines only for me for a few miliseconds; I'll go out with you if I don't really like you cos I'll wanna discover your good points (if you have any); I'll bake into the wee hours of the morning to tire myself out, have a hot brownie and giggle to myself; I'll dance to my favourite songs in the shower; I'll choose a handmade card over any branded/pricey gift; I'll hunt for some canvas and paint and create (happens when I feel like I'm in love); I'll ponder for hours about the past, the what-ifs, and be thankful for the present; I'll smile at you so that you'll smile at me; I'll spend hours sniffing at you if I love you very much; I'll not like it if you paid for me unless I'm comfy with you; I'll give you flowers if I love you; I'll willingly be stupid and trust you cos my gut tells me to, and some time later, I'll rethink the whole thing and decide not to trust you; I'll then trust you again; I'll know I might be kind of screwed; but I'll get the feeling I might never want to let you go.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I'm alone at mac at funan IT mall. Y'know, it's nice to be alone sometimes.
But I miss you. I like the way this feels. For now.
*grins just a wee bit*
There's a lightness in my heart that shouldn't be there, but I won't question it. If you find gold coins under your pillow instead of your rotten tooth, you just shut the hell up.
But I miss you. I like the way this feels. For now.
*grins just a wee bit*
There's a lightness in my heart that shouldn't be there, but I won't question it. If you find gold coins under your pillow instead of your rotten tooth, you just shut the hell up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)