QUIZ MANIA - courtesy of QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

That's weird.

Andy Warhol Andy Warhol should paint your portrait. You are cutting edge. You love to push boundaries and be different on your own terms. You have a rebellious streak and often change your mind about things. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

What does your future hold? You will lose your wedding ring – buy a replacement – then find the original behind the toilet Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Jay'll skin me.

Your celebrity match is Kanye West. You like your men deep and talented. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Immoral Death
How will it happen?	You will have to eat edible undies until you die.
'What horror movie death would you have?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Just the way I imagined it to be.

You are Emma You have been around since the beginning of Degrassi. Literally. As Spike’s daughter, you grew up in a household with no father, and a busy mother, but you turned out really well. You are very smart and always fight for what you believe in, regardless of the consequences. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

You hate smug people! Smugness is your biggest pet peeve. What with all their thinking they’re so good. They are so self-absorbed, they won’t acknowledge anyone but themselves. Arg. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

FRIKKIN TRUE.


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Ended up not jogging, by the way. We decided we lacked nourishment(read: we were more in the mood to pig out than run abt), so straight to the WhiteSands foodcourt it was.

Sigh... oh well.

I can't wait for 3rd October! The idea of going somewhere everyday, doing something and getting paid for it, is maaaaarvy. And 6-8 weeks later; perfect excuse for staying out! Plus, more moolah. Yummy yummy yummy.

I've promised myself I'm keeping this job, shortest duration(self-imposed) = 6 months, unless I'm offered employment elsewhere that pays me at least half a grand more. And that's sooo not gonna happen. I'm ok with my salary package; can afford to save a bit every month. Don't need anything more, at this moment. This moment refers to the coming few months, up till mid 2007. We'll see how it goes then.

Must buy 4D this wednesday! Got a power number in my head.

The water's boiled. Toodles!

nar-cis-sism / Pronunciation[nahr-suh-siz-em]

-noun

1. inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2. Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.


Also, nar-cism / Pronunciation[nahr-siz-uhm]

[Origin: 1815-25; < G Narzissismus. See narcissus, -ism]

-Related forms

na-cis-sist, narcist, noun
nar-cis-sis-tic, nar-cis-tic, adjective


-Synonyms

self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism.

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Mmm.


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Guess what ppl? Guess what guess what guess what guess what???

I'm going jogging!!!!!

Stop laughing/ get those jaws off your keyboard/ wipe that skeptical look off your face. It's for real, I'm actually gonna perform a form of exercise! Normally I do sit-ups whenever I feel like my tummy looks like that of most of the indian cinema actresses. Flab, flab, and can you say FLAB? Noone's ever ready for all that jelly; Beyonce was so right. So besides attempting to completely flatten my tummy, I've been doing none else, and that is totally changing cos I've 'widened' in more places than I'd like to have. I feel like a mix of Jyothika and Ramba. *shudders*

Jogging/running works on your stamina too, which will be so useful for me, since running a pathetic distance for the bus leaves me panting like a dog.

Geethu's coming with, by the way. Absolute yay-ness! If I were to jog alone I'd probably have found some lame-assed excuse to satisfy myself with and had bread for dinner. And my mom wld have scolded me for trying to lose weight(the woman thinks I'm skinny; wtf, yah?) and waved a plate of prawn sambal and fresh, fragrant rice under my nose. So I wld have had 2 dinners in one night. Marvy notion, but a horrid one at the same time! Jelly belly. Bleaurgh.

Oh well, got to go dig out some old pair of trackies. Not much time left, so toodles!

To blog after so long(mmm... 2 weeks, I think), feels like I'm Mr. Rip Van Winkle awaking from a deeeep, DEEEEEEP slumber.

Actually no lah, I'm so used to blogging with long intervals, almost entirely due to laziness. Notice, I used the word 'almost'.

My mom's been dragging me to stay with her, from this sister's house to that sister's house to the other sister's house, for the past few months. Oh the perils of having 3 married sisters and a very prone-to-loneliness mother. It's not that bad, I guess, having a slightly nomadic life, but it does get old after a bit. We all know about my newfound love for sleeping in the buff, and it's not easy letting go of something so wonderful so soon, y'know. I can't even sleep without my bra on when I'm elsewhere man. Sad, sad, sad. I know you feel my pain.

What deepens my pain is the lack of internet connection at the houses of all 3 sisters. Lack of computers, more specifically. Those ppl don't need a comp, they say. I beg to differ. You don't need a computer unless you're dead. At least, in Singapore and such developed countries lah. So yep, no internet connection, no blogging. That's the reason why I'm blogging so little. Almost.

Anyways. My ex's deprivation(don't ask me what kind, and Sash, shut up) has been recently brought to my attention. Come to think of it, not so recent, since M told me abt the time(no wait, 2 times) that he asked her to act as his girlfriend for a day cos he'd bet with his buds that he'll be attached within a certain period of time, accomplishing(or acting like it) which, he receives SGD$150, give or take. This's the exact sorta thing he used to do back when we were attached. *shakes head* I'm still wondering if I was part of a bet too. Mmm.

Latest news is that there's this school or army related thing that requires him to bring 1 person as a partner/date. And guess who he asks? R. Like dunno wtf he's trying to prove right? He outright asked her in an msn convo. Damn weird lah. I don't mind him developing a thing for her or even for M(he used to refer to her as sister), for that matter, but what he's doing seems a little off to me. R says it doesn't seem like he's fully over me, which I totally abhorr. 2 years already y'know. It's not like I stayed single after breaking up with him; I got with Jay like, less than a week later(so shoot me). So I see no reason why he shld have no reason to be over it.

Him asking a bestie of mine out is giving me weird vibes. It's like, I feel like he's gettin associated with me somehow. Not bad vibes, but weird ones. Like, why my friends, of all ppl, rite? He's a person with a good heart, I know. Just had lotsa stuff in him I cldn't stand after a while. He deserves a pretty and good-natured girl. :)

Change of topic.

Y'know, sometimes, animals seem better than humans. Please do this; you, as one person, will make a good difference. Pass it on if you can.

Light a candle, fight against child pornography.

www.lightamillioncandles.com

I'm bored.

Help? Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp.

I'm too stuffed. Bleeeeurgh.

Heeeeeeeeelp.

Headache.

BLEAURGH!!

I miss you, Jay.

:(

Come to me! You stupid man, you.

Happy Onam, everybody!!

*binges on banana chips*

Wow.

He smsed me a few days ago bitching abt my previous blog entry, which he concluded with a don't-reply-cos-this-has-gotta-our-last-convo-and-you're-a-piece-of-shit, or something like that. And now he bitch-smses twinnie abt what she tagged. And uses the don't-reply thingie too. Like wtf, right? Makes me wonder, what does he not want to hear? And why sms in the first place?

It's like, he needs to deny his being lame... by being lamer. If I were in his position, I wldn't even bother.

So dude, seriously? Don't bother.

Oh, off to Madhu's house. Toodles!

Some humans are ass-diggers. Especially insecure bitches who think their boyfriends are wanted material but are in actual fact, so NOT. I say, eww-ness. Besides, I'm very much attached to someone else entirely.

WHAT WLD I WANT THAT ONE FOR? BLEAURGH.

I'm disgusted.

Weird how I felt sympathy for the little gf initially. Shlda said alot more to her. Her bf got problem, why come to me? And she's so emotional about something so small and insignificant, it'd be interesting to see her reaction to the bigger stuff. But then again, maybe it's good I didn't tell her cos she probably deserves the deception. But then again, no woman deserves to be deceived by a sweet talking girlfriend-manager, no matter how skinny she is.

Sigh, sympathy again.

But this's for sure, that girl needs to wake up and smell the shit.

My brother-in-law preys on newspapers.

You shld see him read the papers; he gets to them slowly, leisurely spreads them open, devours them, then suddenly(and weirdly) puts them back together in a very rough manner and tosses them to the floor. And they'll be all crumply and out of shape; traumatised.

I wld find it slightly amusing, if not for the fact that it annoys me! I have to put them all in order if I wanna read the papers... which is something I do... sometimes.

Alrite, off to do some late-night cleaning. Toodles!

Ok ppl, if you're bored, do help me out here. J smsed me this(in the midst of a chinese accent-high) yesterday and I can't for the life of me figure out what he's trying to get across. Oh and turns out, he doesn't know either.


I don'tch know waan. U no say but I say but how I know u say them how condfirm waan?



Beats me too.

Ppl I know seem to be having lotsa wacky stuff to say lately. Here's another:

(for your reference, 'nakkal' means, making fun... sorta. Colloquial Tamil.)


°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
wah lau you watch out lah makka;

Heart-Shaped Box says:
oh yay!

Heart-Shaped Box says:
thank you chellam!

Heart-Shaped Box says:
ah? why?

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
ooo.. wahh! ai

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
bcos, you... how do you say... 'nakkal' me

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
*SNIFF*

Heart-Shaped Box says:
ohh

Heart-Shaped Box says:
oh, wanna hear a poem?

Heart-Shaped Box says:
You, I cannot nakkal
Because you're my makkal!

Heart-Shaped Box says:
i sooooo clever hor


Wow!

kamil says:
huh oh yeah i did vegetarian in serangoon hah

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
ooo, yummay!

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
what did you have?

kamil says:
some manchurian thing, bhadura i thnk, paneer and lassi

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
oo, YUMM

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
I love paneer

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
cauliflower manchurian, rite?

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
and, bhattura!

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
yumm

kamil says:
yeah..the manchurian thing was really good sial.

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
sigh

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
I'd love some now

kamil says:
i induce out vomit then i mail you how.

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
on lah makkal

kamil says:
i'll winzip it and email u better i thnk

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
wee

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
I'll get my tummy juices ready

kamil says:
got it or not

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
WTF

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
wow

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
this takes your boredness to a whole new level

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
oh god

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
I'm gonna blog this

°· you have the urge to worship me; act on it. ·° says:
it's crying out for documentation



And the email I got read:


(Kamil;s Vomit)





(im reeeally bored as you can tell)



Man, do I have weird friends. Oh well.. takes one to know some I guess!

Changed my song. It's one of my absolute favourites, and I am convinced that anyone who possesses even an ounce of dislike for it has not got any taste in music. I'm never a music Nazi but I'm making a well-deserved exception this time!

Exhibition at my sister's gallery tmr. No, later today, since it's almost 2am. Have to go traditional(Mom's way of making sure I don't reveal anything except my arms, if need be) and I have no frikkin idea what to wear. And my cupboard's so messy, I'm gonna have such a hard time looking for anything decent since all my traditional stuff are stuffed deep inside; they've not seen daylight for months. Sigh... sian lah makkal.

Oh well, at least I'll get to sleep naked today. Yippeedee yiminee!!

Toodles!

Happy National Day, ppl! *flashes red and white panties*

Actually, I'm wearing green ones but anyhooooo...

Did my nails today. I absolutely adore them. Very very pale gold(layers and layers of a thin shade) with blood-coloured tips. And when I say tips, I really do mean the absolute tip of each fingernail, meaning to say, an extremely thin lining following the curve of it. Lovely! Too bad I can't upload pics of my work; the connection from my phone to comp isn't functioning and, I've yet to re-activate the mms-ing and mailing facilities since the line got cut off few weeks ago. Speaking of which, my line might go disconnected sometime soon again... might. It's a pain having your line under a person who's already got another one. Especially if they got huge-assed bills. Got to dig out the prepaid card. *sighs*

I've been cooking more lately. I made lunch 4 or 5 days back; brocolli and button mushrooms and cheese and whatnot for the sauce, little grated-potato omelettes, and coated tomatoes deep fried. With rice tho, cos there was no pasta, but my folks didn't mind. And day before yesterday, I made a huge chicken pie, and a small vegetarian pie, y'know the really simple sort with the fillings layed out and a thick layer of mashed potato pressed onto them. Had to do a vege one cos my 3rd sis and her hubby were staying over, and everybody loved it! I added a lot of ingredients that I never wld have added way back, thinking it's probably not suited to the recipe but decided to think 'what the heck, if I'm even thinking it MIGHT go, it shld go in' and it worked!!

I love raisins.

Next, I'm gonna try out Turkish recipes. Any suggestions?

Would you ppl believe, last night was the very first time I've slept in the buff? Been sleeping beside my sisters and my mom so long, so was never given the chance to try it out. I'm sooo gonna do it again. I love it! Liberating, and I didn't wake up till morning, unlike most instances.

Just watched Atlantis on Disney. Fascinating! I wonder if there actually are civilisations that are entirely unknown to mankind. And if they have this huge energy source that serves them and protects them in many ways too. Something like our sun I guess... but with supernatural powers. Mmm.

Ah, gotta go over to my sister's house. Screening of Mummy Returns! I'm late as it is.

I'm coming Madhuuuu!!!!

I realise I've not been blogging as much as I shld for the past few... or many, months. Not thinking things out here has resulted in me staring into space at an increasingly frequent rate.

I was taking a look at my GoStats.com visitor paths (you can see the link to my site's GoStats info, at the very end of the box with my music and friends' links and archives, etc) and realised that some ppl have been viewing a few pages from my archives. I checked the specific links out just for the fun of it, and realised the huge difference between my writing style. I used to write quite a bit more 'cheem' -ly and my sentence formations actually varied and all. Also, I used to sound a lot more cheery. And more self-explanatory, which isn't a good thing necessarily. And entries were posted with more consistency. Overall ah, I become very the boring already lor. *scratches ass*

I have lost the patience and am losing the ability to successfully engage myself with substance to speculate on. Very bad, really. I feel my brain deteriorating. Not gonna let that happen.

Expect me to say much more.

Somebody's set the big fake tree right outside my house on fire. This girl who lives above us knocked on our door on her way up and went, "Eh, your tree burning." She was nice enough to bring us a pail of water to put the coals(yeah, coals, it'd been burning for an hour) out. You might be wondering why we didn't get any smell to alert us of it. We in fact did... but me and my mom were thinking it's coming from the funeral that's still taking place at the void deck below, cos they're burning candles and joss sticks and whatnot. I loved that old tree. It emitted a smell of burning wax as it died.

It's an ugly watery stump now. Oh well.

Weird. Anyways.

Today was marvellous tho, with Jay. Very very very very very very very the nice lor. :-p

I MISS YOU!!! :(

And I want MORE!!

And we two lovers shall not sit afar,
Critics of nature, but the joyous sea
Shall be our raiment, and the bearded star
Shoot arrows at our pleasure! We shall be
Part of the mighty universal whole,
And through all aeons mix and mingle with the Kosmic Soul!

We shall be notes in that great Symphony
Whose cadence circles through the rhythmic spheres,
And all the live World's throbbing heart shall be
One with our heart; the stealthy creeping years
Have lost their terros now, we shall not die,
The Universe itself shall be our Immortality.

-Oscar Wilde, Panthea


2nd time I'm posting this poem up, but you know why I do it. Happy Anniversary, sweetiekins. :)

I am so bored with everything I do. Or don't do. So bored. SO boring. No motivation, no shit, no nothing. Pointless, stupid, pointless.

WHAT THE HELL ELSE DID YOU EXPECT OF YOURSELF, DHANYA?

Stupid bitch.

Ignore this, ppl.

Comp's away for uprading and I miss it!!

:(

This lappy isn't allowing me to successfuly tag on tagboards, weirdly. I'll be back to haunt your taggies soon, my darlings.

Love!!

To be or not to be.

Talking abt being single.

I can never say that I know how it is to feel lonely and really mean it. There's constantly someone to talk to, someone to go out with, so many ppl to laugh with. I have my family, and many close friends who matter to me and to whom I know I mean a lot to. And I have never craved for love from a man, as in, love that you expect to recieve when you're attached, cos I nvr gave myself the chance to, I guess.

Maybe I'm addicted to being in a relationship? I dunno.

Being 'single' the past few months has opened my eyes in ways that I nvr thot it wld. I wanted the break cos I needed it. 4 yrs plus, almost constantly attached to someone, whadya expect? A much needed breather. Helped me learn a few things abt some ppl, myself included. 1 or 2 inane(hopefully) fears and worries have surfaced too. Haha.

Now I'm thinking tho. Has this been of any use, at all? Wld I have been better off not going thru all that shit? I'm making it sound like it was bad, which isn't true. But it wasn't all 'woohoo, I'm SINGLE!'. Come to think of it, I nvr felt that way.

You see, I still don't frikkin know what it's like to be single. It's probably the most unconventional 'break' ever. Haha.

Which brings me back to wondering if all of it, the whole of the break, meant anything at all.

It WAS an attempt... but a bloody lame one at that. It wasn't the same as being attached, but it was somewhere near it. I did feel things I've nvr felt before, but they are so small in comparison to feeling what I always have felt.

The tiny, yet sweet sensation of the sort of freedom I let myself explore was marvellous. It really was beautiful, and I loved it. But I'm not gonna say that that's what I want, more than anything, cos I sure as hell wldn't mean it.

I want happiness. And why think of striving towards it when I've got it? I'm not letting something good go.

You shldn't be left hanging. It's not fair to you. I'm sure you'll understand if I wanted more time apart, but I know for a fact that you aren't and won't be happy, and won't have any peace at all. I'm not willing to let you feel like crap any longer.

My world doesn't revolve around me.



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I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with eyes wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions



- Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten