You know when you're in a relationship, enjoying it and suddenly a thought comes across you; that this might be temporary? If you do know, you know what I'm going through now.



It's not like I never thought about the possibility of J and me being temporary. I knew better than to think it's going to last forever, after the thing with my ex. Just makes me a little sad. And surprised, with myself.



See, I always had this idea about me, that I was very traditional or something. Stick to the same guy always and never leave him unless you can't take him anymore, never enter a relationship which has the chance of ending, that kind of thing.



And what did I do? The right opposite of my 'convictions'. I left my ex when I knew I could have carried on with him, maybe happily. And I went on with J, having in mind that it could turn out to be anything, long-term or short-term. I never put a label on it. And I was fine with it, still am actually.



Looks like I don't know myself very well. Anybody got any newly found characteristics of mine they want to make me aware of? Heh.



Well yeah, this whole might-be-temporary thing makes me kind of sad. You get to know someone, like them, love them, only to let go? Doesn't seem worth the effort. Guess that's why Charlotte and Hannibal want to be single. Hell, I wanted to be single too. At least I thought I did. Turns out I just wanted to let go of my ex. Another instance of me misunderstanding myself. Wonder what else I'll do to prove myself wrong.



It not being worth the effort doesn't really matter to me really. Cos I like J and I like him enough to leave it at that, to see how it goes. You know, like whatever will be, will be and all that.



:-)