I think I hate myself.

But that's my problem. Oh well.

Hello freedom.

Fuck everything else. I love you. Stay strong, old friend. You'll be mine one day.

Guess what? He hates me! Woohoo!

How can one not hate the villain, really? I suppose your preferences do have to be very clear, especially if you're the good guy. And oh, preferences are currently extremely vivid, which makes it better to deal with, I guess; clearer boundaries, more black and white areas than grey. But is it really that simple?

How do we forget the good stuff just because it's bad now? How do you do an overwrite? Is that really what relationships are about? Can there really be no happy ending should we choose to part? Okay, I chose to part, yes, it was me. But I did us both a favour. The relationship was going places but I don't think I belonged in it. Often felt like an outsider looking in. An outsider who'd remark "What a weird match," shrug, and wander away.

It WAS beautiful though. No bed of roses, definitely. Bed of lilies (so much pollen, it'll definitely make a mess), maybe? I had a gorgeous time giving and receiving. I know I gave, cos I felt it come from my heart. That was no lie. And I definitely did receive. A bit too much maybe, considering the state of affairs now. 'Husbands' duties'. It was nice being pampered, though sometimes stifling. But I really didn't ask for it, so I suppose that's one less thing that I'm a bitch for doing.

What I'm without a doubt, a complete bitch for doing, is getting married when I did. Or, agreeing to getting married and liking the idea cos I was marrying a fantastic guy who was in love with me and whom I loved too. Sounds perfect, and it WAS perfect. Except...that little voice in your head that tells you you should brush your teeth before sleeping, that you shouldn't have any more to drink cos you're sufficiently high, and that you should have something to eat because you're probably about to faint in a bit, that voice in your head, it never fades. In fact, it gets louder as you immerse yourself in your predicament. And then it tells you, this will never do.

So now it's out. The measure of stupidity I possessed a few months ago is out on display, and I don't mind. I WAS stupid. But not anymore. I am not proud of having dealt grief to so many at once cos as hard as it is to believe, I'm not a sadistic nut. I merely want to put things right. For all of us. And we'll eventually get there, with enough time, hate and tears.

And I know I deserve to be happy too.

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes… just be an illusion.”

I miss everybody. I miss every single one of you.

I miss my twinnie, I miss Ragani, I miss all of my favourite people.

I do miss you, Jay. I know we're not the best of friends now, but I miss you all the same.

My ex-gangster colleague, on the H1N1 epidemic;

'This H1N1 flu ah, surely kenna mix with another virus then we all become zombies.'

and...

'Must faster find Milla Jovovich and clone.'

My dad called my mom in the morning to say that he's been thinking abt those couple of days when they were contemplating aborting me(due to financial reasons. I'm the 4th girl); the letter from the doctor, the appointment, the hospital visit. And he told her this: the only thing he's ever done right in his entire life was to decide to not abort me.

The only thing right in his entire life.

:)

So. My twinnie/best friend has left the country for good.

For good.

Bloody hell. Who the heck else is gonna call me when I'm busy, and complain that I don't pick up? Who else is gonna make me earrings and casually fish them out of her bag, in pretty gauze? Why do my best friends keep migrating?

You guys suck.

I don't like how this blog looks on Jay's WIIIIIIDE computer screen. My boxes on the right are cutting into the picture in a most unsightly way!

Let me now push away thoughts of template editing, and concentrate on my assignment. Frikkin @&!*#@& assignments that're taking so much research to do. Studying part-time while working full-time is no joke, man.

I can do it!

Someone thinks I'm Sister Mary.

Me : Hellooo.
Him: Sister Mary.
Me : Who?
Him: Sister Mary?
Me : Err no. You got the wrong number.
Him: Sister Mary. You are the chosen one.
Me : Ha! Is this Venga?
Him: Sister Mary, you are the chosen one. You are gonna be sacrificed!
Me : Ha ha ha. Who's this?
Him: Sister Mary. Sister Mary.
Me : Who the heck are you?!
Him: Sister Mary!
Me : Okay I'm Sister Mary. And who are you?
Him: *hangs up*
Me : *tries to decide whether to laugh or fume*

2 minutes later;

Him: Sister Mary!
Me : If you don't tell me who you are, I'm gonna hang up.
Him: Don't hang up Sister Mary!! I am Father James.
Me : You're WHAT?
Him: *sniggers and hangs up again*

Asshole called 2 more times, but I refused to pick up. I'm trying to finish up work so that I can leave at 6, y'know. And this bloody fool has disrupted my flow. I HAD to blog about it, and here I am, not doing my work!

I do want to know what other wacky stuff he has to say tho. I think I'm the ideal prank-callee. I know there is no such word. Don't mind me.

P.S: New background! Faceless as promised. Haha.

I'm gonna change my blogskin! Sick of seeing my face up there. So, the next background image will be faceless.

Curious? Wait and see. MUAHAHA!

I realise I have not blogged for aaaaaaages. That's probably cos I've absolutely NO TIME to. Doesn't help that I still don't have a personal lappy. Anybody feeling generous/likes me enough to get me one? Oh, and Hill says she wants one too. Who the heck is Hill, you ask? She's been working with me the past few months.

CRAZY BITCH ALERT!







We're wearing similar outfits today! Unintentionally, ofcos. It's happened around...3 times so far? I suppose we shld start letting each other know of our clothing choices in the mornings.



Twinnie!!!! The backside that's leavin in a month. :.(


Selvi, I and Nirmala at some random hotel. Don't Selvi and I look a bit alike?


Waiting to see the doctor at the polyclinic, on Tuesday. I love pulling sickies!

Time to take a breather. Might be back later!

SICK! Sick sick sick.

Not terribly sick, actually. I'm just sniffling and coughing like a deranged monkey with a cold would. The weather is mad. One moment the sun will be beating you down, hot-freezing the air so that no tree will be moving and every hair of yours will be in place, getting frizzier by the minute (popping like popcorn, maybe?) and the next moment will see you shivering and wishing you brought a jacket out with you while you watch branches sway violently, and sometimes a branch or two quit hanging on for dear life and fall right of its tree. How...thrilling.

Time to go to the clinic! Persuaded Jay to take half the day off, so that I'll have company while grocery shopping. Baking apple pie for tmr's family gathering! Jay's side of the family. I suppose I'm in the mood to impress more than I already have. Haha. That is, provided the apple pie doesn't suck horribly.

Let you know how the pie turns out, and if it's any decent, I'll put the recipe up. :-D

:-D

--------------------------------------------------------------

After recently shedding a couple of kilos, I have only ONE pair of jeans that fit me well. Okay, I just got one(that cost a teeeny bit more than my usual ones cos hopefully, it doesn't expand madly like the last one did) from Century Square last night, and now there're TWO. But that's still a slightly sad state of affairs, especially since I wear jeans most of the time, even to work. I can choose to wear shorts to work, but I'd prefer not to wobble all over the centre.

Jay got me a dress on Sunday! It's pretty and superbly feminine. I LOVE IT, and will be wearing it this Saturday, so I'll put up a picture of it. With me in it, ofcos.

I feel a wee bit bimbotic, blogging about clothes. Maybe I shld move on to more intelligent or perhaps masculine topics, to demonstrate total un-bimbotism?

Naaaaah.

But I DO wanna mention that I'm going for the Beerfest Asia 2009 this Friday, cos I'm fantastically excited about it! Jay's friends are a bunch of whackjobs. So charming. And they exude even more charm when under influence of intoxicating substances. So, YAY!! Saturday's time with Venga and Nantha. Sunday's family day!

I'm so blessed. (Touchwood.) Things aren't smooth, but they're good. There are so many adversities happening around me, yet my journeys are beautiful, tho rocky. The little endings should be just as good, I hope.

Yet another installment. I can hear you whooping!


Scarlet Starlet says:
!

Scarlet Starlet says:
i had no idea you were online

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
cos I sneaked in ah!

Scarlet Starlet says:
*cusses like an injured sailor*

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
*listens with interest*

Scarlet Starlet says:
ho!

Scarlet Starlet says:
i mean OH!

Scarlet Starlet says:
(HAHA)

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
you call me what!

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
*struts around*

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
10 dollah. *winks*

Scarlet Starlet says:
eh. that's expensive.

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
ah. but for you special rate

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
7 dollah. :-D

Scarlet Starlet says:
okay, i'll give you 5

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
no no no no. I have a pet spider to feed

Scarlet Starlet says:
mmm. 4.50 then.

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
6 dollah 50cent

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
(HAHAHAHA)

Scarlet Starlet says:
okay, how about 4

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
come on, you look like nice woman!

Scarlet Starlet says:
damnit. you drive a hard bargain. 3.50!

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
you go screw yourself, you big stupid!

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
*struts away*

Scarlet Starlet says:
wait wait wait! 3!

Despo teenagers. How irritating.

Me : Good afternoon.
Him: Hello, can I speak to Agnes Ching?
Me : There's no such person working here.
Him: No Agnes there ah?
Me : No.
Him: She was there last week.
Me : Agnes was here last week?
Him: Yah...umm...can you give me her number?
Me : May I know where you're calling from?
Him: I'm calling from...er...Hougang.
Me : Okaaaay. May I have your name, please?
Him: Errr. Errrrrrrrr...
Me : Who are you?!
Him: Uh...I am Ryan.
Me : Okay. What do you need her number for?
Him: I need to call her...to tell her something.
Me : Oh. I can't give you her number. Cos I dunno who you're taking about.
Him: You cannot give me her number because you dunno who?
Me : Yah. I dunno who Agnes is, so I cannot give you her number.
Him: Oh...what's your name?
Me : I'm Dhanya.
Him: Yoursdhanya?
Me : I. AM. Dhanya.
Him: Oh...can I have your number?
Me : MY number?
Him: Ok ok nvm...YOU'RE HOT! Bye!


3 min later,


Me : Good afternoon.
Him No.2: I am Haaa..haaa...HALIM. Can I have Agnes' number?
Me : (audible sigh) Your friend called just now. There is no Agnes.
Him No.2: Oh oh. Ok ok. Bye bye.
Me : Bye.


Who the fuck is this Agnes?

I, the righteous.

The 4D queue was long on Sunday, and I HAD to stand in it cos my brother-in-law (the huge, tattooed, and hairy one) wanted his numbers bought. Worth $47, and that too lent some seriousness and necessity to the whole thing. So yeah, I was standing in line, and was just about 3 ppl away from the counter when this big middle-aged indian guy approaches me with his 4D slip and some cash, asking me to buy his numbers for him. I took a look at the looong string of ppl behind me. Wanna know what I said wanna know what I said wanna know what I said?

"Oh. I don't think it's fair."

I know. I'm bloody amazed myself. Think what, I indian, you indian, so I do you a favour is it? You wait long long (literally)!


I, the lucky.

Struck consolation prize, which's $60. My brother-in-law told me to redeem it, and keep the change, which means the 4D tickets paid for themselves with $13 to spare, which's for me. Yay me!


I, the not-so-lucky.

I had no time to collect the cash cos of work and all, so I passed it to my mom to redeem for me. The winning ticket(which's of carbon paper) got crumpled a little, and my dear daddy felt it necessary to iron the damned thing. He placed 3 layers of cloth over it. And ironed.

Bye bye, 60 bucks. Most saddeningly, bye bye $47 invested in absolute SHIT!!

New skin! Isn't it strange? I quite like it.

Yes, I AM bored.

My blog is worth $564.54.
How much is your blog worth?

And I don't get why. Twinnie's is worth $0.00. Now that's just unfair and ridiculously untrue.

*pouts bimbotically for no particular reason*

My twinnie.

Me : Eh, maybe you can get a rabbit. (cos she wanted a dog, but cldn't keep one)
Her: For what?
Me : They are cute what.
Her: But rabbits shit alot.
Me : As opposed to the shitless dog?

---------------------------------------

This is how my twinnie is when she's going to sleep and she can't stop yakking even if there's noone around:

Her: I suppose I should get into bed now.
Her: I should stop talking to myself and go to sleep.
Her: Okay.
Her: I saaaaiiiid, stop talking to yourself and go to sleep!
Her: Yeah okaaaaay!

---------------------------------------

Kevin and I arranged a surprise birthday celebration of sorts for Jay and El (who's birthday fell on the 14th) last Friday at The Dubliner(I quite like that place. So cosy, and the staff are very friendly and accomodating). One chocolate brownie cake and one coffee brownie cake, both covered in chocolate sauce with a 'J' on one and an 'E' on the other spelt out with coloured Hershey's Kisses! I had fun baking those. And I had even more fun planning the surprise! Jay loved it all, and I could see that he was touched.

YAY!

Oh oh oh, don't bother planning a surprise if you're a M1 subcriber. Kevin got my messages about 1) placing the candles in a certain hiding place I suggested 2) the candles??!?! 3) me going to the loo to have the candles passed to me ONLY THE NEXT DAY. Good thing he needed to pee and had to make his way to the loo. Or I might have smashed the cakes on his face at the stroke of 12.

Anyways, all that sneaking around and sending meaningful looks and twisting of words were bloody entertaining! Here're a few examples:

A week before his birthday;

Me : That day, when you were playing with my phone, did you have a look at my inbox?
Jay: Ah? No lah. Why?
Me : Okay. Nothing. =)
Jay: Why why? What? Why?
Me : Nothing laaaah. I might be having an affair. :-D
Jay: -_-

And, at the celebration itself, before the cake and party hats were brought out;

El: Where are the hats?
Me: What about the hats?
El: The hats?
Me: What hats? There are no hats.
El: I thought got hats?
Me: Where's your hat?
El: Not wearing it today.
Me: Then there's no hat. There are no hats.


I wanna plan a surprise party again! And I will be, soon. But you won't know it's for you. Cos it's a surprise, DUH. But you're definitely gonna have a shitload of fun! :-D

*rides into the night in a very mysterious, hopefully seductive manner*

I wanna blog! Then I should, right? Right.

I'm about to leave my job. Been with this company a bit more than a year, and I'm actually alright staying if not for the fact that it'll be a complete bitch travelling all the way to queenstown from frikkin changi coast for classes after work. As it is, I'm quite sick of travelling to work from home(ang mo kio) everyday. I swear I'll end up cabbing down every single school day. Let's consider the (HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, ABSOLUTELY SHITTY) peak hour surchage. $30 per trip x 2 trips/week x 4 weeks = $240/month.

BLOODY HELL.

Goodbye, Changi Coast Walk! I'll miss you. Already do, infact. The sunsets are stunning, and the sea always looks magnificent. In the mornings and evenings, sunlight streams through the trees that line our road and I tell you, you'd wish you had a camera. Nature's kodak moment. Haha.

Y'know, I don't normally discuss this with people much, but I personally think that god's everything that is nature, and nature is everything that is god, which in turn has everything to do with us. But I have no idea why we were created. The end of the world is apparently near, according to many belief systems. I wonder if it's true. If it is, were we made, only to be destroyed? What for? Is there some reset button somewhere? Should I have kids?

This is bugging me man. If the world is gonna end, we should be notified. It's the least we could ask for, since we're working so hard to get stuff done which are gonna matter shit when the 'button' gets pressed.

That reminds me; I should probably get back to work. I'll be leaving at the end of April. If you guys know any place that's hiring, pls let me know? I assume there's still some time left before we all die.