I had a lovely time with J yesterday. Lovely.



*dreams dreamily*



We were sitting at McDonalds, facing each other. He was busy eating his McFish Dippers (that what it's called?) , making funny faces and saying his trademark lame-ish but witty jokes that had me controlling my laughter.



I dunno why I control my laughter. Must stop!



I just could not concentrate on the blurb (that wat/how it's called/ spelt?) of the book he lent me, The Da Vinci Code. He was a BIG distraction. All I could get into my head was that some old guy died in a museum.



After he was done with his food, I gave him the slippers. He liked it! *'WOOHOO's*

He took out his shoes and put a slipper on, with his socks. I whined a little, saying I've not seen his toes yet. So he took his socks off with a smile and put on the slippers.



Lovely, clean, pink nails.



And, the slippers were a perfect fit. Thanks, Char, for helping me choose the them! :-DDDDDD



So we sat at the tiny table, playing with each other's fingers and stuff like that. =D We then left the place to look around the shopping centre and that's when I got a call from my mom, asking me to COME HOME NOW so we left, at a very leisurely pace. Heh!



We took a bus that goes straight to my house. He had to get down soon though, to catch another bus that goes straight to his house. I ended up getting down with him, where we had a wonderful time waiting for the next bus to come.



*floats floatingly*



At home, I saw the contents of the CD he burnt, the virus protection thingie. The 'lil something extra' he said was in there was the Kaaza setup program and some love songs, of which there are quite a few I absolutley love.



*grins grinningly*



Problem is, my sound card is like, not there. I think I'll be getting one soon. I'm becoming desperate.



*becomes desperately desperate*



I'm not hungry, but my mom's telling me to eat OR ELSE. I shall go be a good girl.



*trots away like a good girl (trottingly) *

I woke up this morning with a smile and reached for my handphone to read J's morning message. I then realised, with a shock, my handphone wasn't with me.



I was so shocked I said, "HUH?" in disbelief. I searched for it frantically, even removed the bedsheets, to find anything, anything at all that'll give me a clue. It wasn't on the bed, not on the table, not charging. It was NOWHERE.



oh shit oh shit oh shit.



What if someone read J's message? They'd know all about him and I'd just die.



I calmed myself and sauntered out of the room casually (my heart was hammering with dread) and asked my mom if she'd seen my phone.



"Your dad brought it with him to the clinic. He'll be back soon."



"Ooooh...okie." (BLOODY HELL?!!)



"He saw your Jijay's message, by the way. He read it to me. 'Good morning baby' eh?"



"Oh."





I just went into the bathroom and did a mental scream. While I was brushing my teeth though, I looked sternly into the mirror and told myself firmly this: Don't deny. No stupidity. You've got the right to love.



So I came out and heated up my pancakes. I sat down to eat them when my mom sat down, with me.



*heart hammering*



"Why is his name Jijay? Never came across a name like that."



"Oh, his mom liked it, so he's named that."



"Ah."



Slowly she asked me about J; what's he doing, what's his father's name and what is he doin, how old is his mother and what is she doing, is he the first child, how many siblings does he have, how old is his sister, blah blah. She seemed genuinely interested and somehow, that made me feel much better. She told me, in the end, to have my priorities straight, no matter what, please. I know. =)



My dad came home an hour later and my mom made me open the door.



*more heart hammering*



I opened the door very casually, like nothing happened, and didn't speak a word. My dad was looking down cos he was removing his shoes. When he looked up, he seemed a little startled to see me. I was expecting a deep frown when he slowly, he smiled. He actually smiled, man. It became a grin when he reached out and pinched my cheek. I grinned back at him, very widely, like the bloody happy fool I was, and still am.



He walked into the house, and handed me my phone with the same grin on his face. "Here, you and your messages!"



I took my phone, went to the nearest room and did a little dance. I was beaming for the next 30 minutes. Actually, I still am! Heh!



I'm about to meet J, at 6-something. Like I said, he's got a CD to pass me (he said there's a little extra something in it. Can't wait to find out!) and a book, The Da Vinci Code. Very interesting, he says, so I want to give it a try. I'm passing him the black beach slippers I bought for him when I was out with Char few days ago. Hope he likes it man! =DDDD



Life is beautiful!!!



*beams*

Long time no blog, huh?



Well I'm just too busy talking to ppl on msn to do anything much else. But I won't forget you, Bloggie. *smiles sweetly*



I've been busy since last night, trying to get this bloody Sasser.exe worm out of my comp. It's bloody irritating man. At the crucial moments, when I'm doing a 3hr-long download, my sister'll disable the line filter. And I'd have to start all over again. She did it twice, can you believe that? I almost died. Bah!!



Thank god for J, he's helping me so much. My main problem is that the pages load a millimetre/hour or don't load at all, so I just can't get anything downloaded. He's doing all kinds of stuff to help me. He looked for good virus-scans and sent me the links. When that didn't work, he filled out a form with my particulars(he didn't ask me for them) and got AVG to send me a mail. When that didn't work, he downloaded the stuff and sent them to me on msn. That didn't work too, the bloody connection kept getting reset. So now, he's going to burn it and pass it to me.



WHAT A SWEETIE.



=)))))))



So I'm seeing him tmr.



If I could fall into the sky

do you think time would pass me by

And you know I'd walk a thousand miles,

if I could just see you, tonight.

Met Jeevitha yesterday!



It was wonderful talking to her after so long. It was like seeing a favourite blankie after very long. Heh!



She curled her already curly hair, anyway! She looks very afro now. Suits her, lots. You've finally done it, eh Jee? =D



Wish I cld say more about our 3hrs together but I'm totally pressed for time!



*demonstrates being presssed for time for putting hands on face and dragging cheeks downwards, in deprivation of lovely, precious time*



Meeting Char tmr. Lunch at Temasek Poly, shopping in town!



Nite!

I'm in love and I'm a happy fool. =DDD



Sara's good too. Had a long chat with him. He's got a crush on a girl, can you believe that! I'm so happy he's moving on! He misses me sometimes he says, but he'll get over it. I even adviced him on how to approach the girl!



We're buddies and I don't feel like a bitch anymore.



Did you hear that? I don't feel like a bitch anymooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!!



*starts singing in a very un-bitchy way, ala the then-decent Mariah Carey*



Hey, Hannibal, don't worry about me getting into a relationship so soon. It's fine really. And don't worry, I'm not banging him. Yet. =D



Kit! I stayed at home today but somehow, I cldn't call you. Sorry. =) I'll call you tmr, k? No wait, it's early morning, so I'll call you at a later part of the day. Commented on your blogpost, anyway!



Char! Sorry about the no reply to your sms thing. *looks sheepish* I'll sms you or call you later, babe!



Jeevitha! If you're reading this, you must have seen Jay's pics already. Call me. =D



Ok, enough shit for me, I'm tired. It's past 3am.



Mornin!

Went out with Jay last night.



I want to say so many things but I can't. See, Sara'll be reading this. And I don't know if this is the best time for him to. Can't stop himself from going to my blog, he says. BAH. Maybe I shld change my blog add, like I told you, Sara.



Anyway, all I can afford to say about yesterday is that it was absolutely wonderful. And when I say wonderful, I really mean it, the whole sense of the word. Nothing less than that. :-)



Think it's time for me to ask myself a question, try to answer it and inevitabley hit 'Publish Post' feeling as unsatisfied as I did in the first place.



*ahem*



What makes a woman beautiful?



Is it the face? Conventionally beautiful big, almond-shaped eyes; a straight pert nose(not too broad, please); haughty high cheekbones; curvy, pouty lips and a chin that's not too big, not too small, not sticking out too much, not pointing down, not too this, not too that. And a clear forehead. Let's not forget clear, baby-butt-smooth skin.



Or is it the body? Perky boobs, big, but not too huge(36 inches); a 24-inch waist, if possible, 23; 36-inch hips(not too fleshy, please). No hair in sight except for a head full of thick (but not too thick, please), soft, fragrant, non-frizzy glorious hair. Thin arms with long feminine fingers; legs like a baby giraffe; long, graceful neck and a beautiful, clear back with no spare-tires, love handles and the like.



I have just described the perfect woman. Or have I?



See, my real question is, what IS perfection?



People say, and I do agree with them, that perfection is relative. But how relative is it really? How come so many people cite Aishwarya Rai, Miss World 1994 as the perfect beauty when at the same time, they say Catherine Zeta-Jones is perfect? These individuals look very different from each other. Very different faces, very different bodies. So if one is perfect, how can the other be too?



Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against these people. Lots of other celebrities, men included, have the reputation of being the best of the human species in terms of looks. Think Bradd Pitt, Hrithik Roshan. These people aren't identical. But they're all perfect. Now how can that be? Are they perfect in their own way? What makes them so wonderful that we, the commoners, aren't perfect ourselves? Or are we perfect too, in our own way? But, if everyone's perfect, what does being perfect mean anymore?



What IS perfection?



I have been called perfect a couple of times. There's this time I remember clearly. My sister's friend, a girl from Germany, stayed in my house for 2 days. Since my sister was busy with work, I had to keep her entertained and I enjoyed her company, lots. Her name's Anja (pronounced as Anya, just like my mail-add. How about that, huh?) So she was going back to Germany and I couldn't go with her to the airport since I had school. My sister did and Anja told her this about me: I'm beautiful, I've got a nice body, I'm smart and I'm such a sweetie. I'm perfect.



When I heard that, I was very flattered. VERY. Then I got thinking. Why am I perfect to her? What makes me so perfect in her eyes? Am I really that good? No, I'm not. So why did she say that? I dunno. I know I'm good-looking but I'm not breath-takingly beautiful. Nor do I have such a wonderful character. And I've got huge thighs. So what's it that's perfect?



Then I got thinking more. How come I'm not perfect? How come huge thighs can't be perfect? Who's idea of perfection do we follow? Who made up these rules of perfection. Who can say perfection is relative and truly agree?



Must go now, mom's screaming.

you are lavenderblush #FFF0F5

Your dominant hues are red and magenta. You love doing your own thing and going on your own adventures, but there are close friends you know you just can't leave behind. You can influence others on days when you're patient, but most times you just want to go out, have fun, and do your own thing. Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

I'm too bored to blog these days.



Life's BORING.



My continuation of the chalet stay's just hanging in the air.



*watches it helplessly hang in the merciless air*



Merciless air? God help me.



*floats in unforgivingly boring and bored shit*

Don't feel like bloggin now. I've done some tests, so here they are. =) Gnit!



Which Micheal Jackson Are You? - Liquid Generation













The Bitch Quiz! - Liquid Generation







While not the bitchiest bitch in the planet, you definitely know how to piss people off- especially your parents, who are themselves both bitches too. If you were locked in a room with another bitch, you'd outbitch them 2 to 1, but not because you're bitchier, because you might be a female dog.







Ya know, the bitch quiz is stupid.

Back-o! From the chalet-o! Yay-o! Lame-o.



Quite alot to write y'noe. Think I'll have a separate part for each day. *changes to a french accent* I'm being very smart, no? I truly think so. Ah bien! If I want to be finished today, I must start now! *ends french accent* Dunno if the 'ah bien' part makes sense but hey, you're in MY world now. Mmm-mmm-mmmuahahahaha!



Bear with me, I'm dead tired.



Day 1 - 30th July 2004, Friday



My 1st sister and I went to the chalet first. The time was...6, I think. We started unpacking, taking inventory, cleaning, y'noe, the chalet blah. Something weird happened to my phone. The service provider's name on my phone screen changed from the normal STARHUB-SGP to MY CELCOM. Like hello? I was so puzzled and so was my sister who's service provider was miraculously now TM-TOUCH. Think the waves in the air or something get mixed up at this part of the island. So me, the ultimate Siemens expert, got down to fixing both phones, one in each hand. I changed the network configurations. And there it was, my darling STARHUB-SGP on both phonescreens! I did a little dance.



Then it was time to do the decorations for the party the next day. I was assigned to the lonely and literally breath-taking job of blowing up the balloons. Why lonely? Well I didn't know till then that my sister's got some sort of a balloon-phobia. I loved it! I just kept blowing the balloons in her face and pretending to burst them. I didn't burst any though. See, I'm scared myself. The end result, the chalet looked cheerful and WHOOPY!!-ish. Mission accomplished, we had some coffee and peanuts, the only readily eatable food we had so far. And we started dancing to some 80s Tamil hits. A bunch of north indian guys were passing by in their deafening motorcycles and screamed "Whhooo! WHHOOWWEEEEEAAEE!!" Somehow they managed to make themselves heard.



So the rest of my family and my 1st brother-in-law's parents showed up, gushed over the big and attractive layout of the chalet, had dinner, argued over who sleeps next to Madhu (I lost) and finally entered dreamland.





Day 2 - 31st July 2004, Saturday



The BIG day. I stayed in the chalet, helped out with the preparations, bathed, dressed decently and sat down, waiting for the guests to arrive. NOT.



The truth is, I went out with Jay! Like I mentioned in the earlier post. I told them I went to work, if you consider having lunch, watching a movie and being ridden home, all with someone who's company you love, work. Heh! We watched i-Robot. The movie was ok, I guess. Nice but nothing really fantastic. I loved the movie-watching experience though. Didn't you, Jay? ;-D Oh and Will Smith himself is half-robot! Now who wld have thought of that, huh? Like I always exclaim to Jay, "Power sia!" Ok, enough shit.



Before the movie, we had lunch. Well he had lunch and I had desert. See, I had just had a heavy breakfast of fried rice. I know, fried rice for breakfast is weird but what can I do if I was born into a weird-assed family? So he had the fish thingie burger and I had a Hershey's ® Sundae Pie, at Burger King. I had just finished one-fifth of my pie when he finished his whole freakin burger. I was like WHOA. And he didn't eat it like a pig, ya know? Very neat and clean. Guess it's the HUGE bites that did the trick.



After lunch we roamed around the place a little, looking at the small shops but never really going inside, being surprised to see really really old and huge handphones that are still on sale and talking some nonsensical stuff the whole way, normally the most bullshittish stuff put in by me. Finally it was time for the movie. We sat down, waiting to see either Will Smith or a robot when a movie called The House of Flying Daggers started showing. We were given the wrong tickets! So out we scrambled, Jay got our tickets exchanged and soon we were running to another theatre. So we watched the movie.



The movie ended and we were going towards the exit of the theatre. I was feeling really happy and satisfied. It was short-lived though. See, my sister's best friend was standing right outside the theatre entrance/exit, waiting to go in and watch her movie. I wanted to die. Pretending not to have noticed her wldn't have worked cos I shld have been blind not to. So I talked to her, with Jay beside me. She asked me who he was and I told her, "Oh this is my friend, Jay." Then came the shaking-hands session.



She pointed to the blue rose in my hand and asked with a smile, "What is this?" I totally forgot I was holding Jay's rose. I wanted to swallow it.



"This? Oh...nothing! Heh heh!!"



We talked a little more, small talk. Then we left. I felt bloody horrible. I went to the loo, freshened my make-up and emerged looking much better but feeling dreadful. Jay tried his best to comfort me, saying nothing will happen, I'll reach home soon, she won't say anything about me to my sister. After a while, it worked.



We got into his red car and spent an eternity getting out of the carpark. There was this stupid man in front of us at the...what's it called? Ticketing machine? I dunno. Well yeah, that man seemed sorta stupid. Ha, Jay kept making fun of him! Farny ,man! *thinks back to what Jay said* Hahahhahha!!



Oh shit. I've got to go. Must vaccuum. BAH. Will continue tonight or tomorrow.



=)

Madhu's gonna be 2!!



We've booked a chalet in Changi for the event. 3 whole days in an unknown house. Maybe it's haunted. Now that'd be good fun man! That's my opinion now but I'm sure when I come face to face with the ghost you'd find my opinion wld have somewhat changed. Heh.



Her birthday's on Friday but we're celebrating it on Saturday. You know, ppl gotta be free to come, don't want them to rush from work, yadda yadda. Her mom (my sis) and I chose the cake from Bengawan Solo. A 2kg mango cake with an adorable Mini Mouse sitting down in a most feminine way, as if she was resting on the grass, holding a beautiful purple butterfly. I'm waiting to eat it! Madhu's 1st birthday cake was a big, absolutely beautiful purple butterfly, chosen by my sis and me too. Dunno what's it with us and purple butterflies. Gosh I feel like such a girly girl! *starts giggling girlishly*



*ends bimbotic moment, keeps lollipop away*



I'm meeting Jay on Saturday. Yay! Not sure where we'll go though. Mmmm...*thinks hard* I'll ask him. But I won't tell you! Muahaha...! *laughs evilly*



There's something that's been troubling me for quite some time. It's just tearing me apart, it's so painful. I just don't know how to say this. But looks like I've got too. *takes a deep breath* I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR!



Madhu's birthday party's this Saturday and I've got absolutely no idea whatsoever as to what to friggin wear! I'm so sick of trying on my clothes again and again and to find out again and again that I've put on weight. 3 kg makes alot of difference man! URGH. Ok, I must cool down, I need to keep a clear head. *calms down a little* I'm getting an idea I'm getting an idea. Maybe I shall wear my sleeveless lacy pink spaghetti-strapped blouse. Ok...too sexy for a 2-yr-old's birthday party, huh? Ah WHO CARES. It's not the guests that look like a friggin whale. Wait, some do. But nevermind. Think I've decided on the pink blouse. I think. Ah bah.



"To wear or not to wear" ; Dhanya Nair

Tired! Came back from Malaysia Truly Asia about 2 hours ago. My make-up's still on my face. *pictures the clogging of my pores*



OH MY GOD. What am I doing to myself! *rushes to wash face*



NOT! Caught you there, didn't I ppl? Mmm-mm-mmuahahaah! My pores can wait.



So yeah, went there just in time for lunch. At the HYATT. I had this very very cheesy seafood linguine. Mmmm....*floats in the memory of the scrumptious dish* And for desert, or according to my uncle, dessert, I had cappucino ice cream. Not bad. Took some of my sister's gigantic banana split.



*audience groan*



Well she was having trouble finishing it, so I can't just watch her suffer! *cries indignantly* So we left our table, paid the bill and were walking towards the exit/entrance when the doorman almost screamed at us to wait and rushed to open the door for us. Last time I checked my hands were working.



We went to my maternal grandma's house. A small, dark, damp cemented house. Despite our constant calling to settle with us, she chooses to stay with my useless cousins whom she feels need her more, because they're weaker in character, more stupid, and the epitomes of 'slack'. They're in their late 20s and they ask her, an old retiree with not much for herself, for money. And she gives. They don't treat her well either. It's so obvious they want her just for money.



Well I want her cos I want her as my grandma. Not as a money-giver but just as my grandma. But that's never gonna happen. She's too busy being a goody. She cldn't keep her hands off me yesterday, though. She's sort of realized how much I've grown and she kept saying I'm beautiful. I was so happy. I am now too but a little bitter, obviously. Heh.



So we went to this big hotel where my relatives stay. See, they own the hotel, and they're living next to it. Each family has it's own storey. Confusing, huh? Wat are you going to do with the knowledge of my relatives' living arrangements, anyway? Heh. So yeah, we spent alot of time there, playing with the kids and cooing at the newborns. There's always a newborn there. Amazing, huh? They are very busy ppl, I imagine. ;-)



Oh! And! These relatives I'm talking about are Muslim! Weird huh? Ppl who don't know me may ask wat's so weird about that. I'm Hindu, that's wat's so weird!



Well the story goes like this: My great grandma, a Hindu, was happily married to a Hindu man. They had children, one of whom is my afore-mentioned maternal grandma. So one fine day, my great grandma up and leaves the family and runs along the beach in slow motion and falls into the arms of a this Muslim man. *scene plays in mind* We all think he did some black magic and got her to come to him. But we'll never really know the truth, will we? So they had a family and I've got muslim cousins! =D I like them lots.



Back to the actual trip to Malaysia Truly Asia! We spent some time there, then went to this place called Madura's. It's full of Indian jewellery, creams and stuff. I even found a bottle of bonine urine. Eww. Saw another cousin of mine there, called Priya. Her hair has miraculously grown from black when she was a child to blonde. Whoa. She's my age anyway. She looks nice! But we don't look related. I smiled at her lots while my mom did all the talking(how's your mom? how's your dad? mm..how's your ass?). We left the shop, bought food for the rest of my family back home and took a taxi back to Pasir Ris. 70 Ringgit. Not bad actually. You can get them to fetch you from your house to Malaysia, you know! I've got the namecard. Ask if ya want it!



My fingers are tired. Especially my middle finger. Of all the fingers, huh? Heh! I use my mid finger lots when I type. Habit, I guess. And, lunch beckons seductively. Fish curry!!! *slurps*



See ya later alligator! *floats in lameshit*

And we two lovers shall not sit afar,

Critics of nature, but the joyous sea

Shall be our raiment, and the bearded star

Shoot arrows at our pleasure! We shall be

Part of the mighty universal whole,

And through all aeons mix and mingle with the Kosmic Soul!



We shall be notes in that great Symphony

Whose cadence circles through the rhythmic spheres,

And all the live World's throbbing heart shall be

One with our heart; the stealthy creeping years

Have lost their terros now, we shall not die,

The Universe itself shall be our Immortality.



-Oscar Wilde, Panthea

I'm not bothering to put up the 2 or 3 posts I deleted. I'll just summarise.



- I got fired.

- I got another job the same day

- I'm looking for another job at the same time

- I crave freedom

- I'm growing fat (new point)



Okie. I'll be in a better mood tonight. *smiles*

Bloody Blogger's irritating me. It's not following the fonts and font size that were set for my blog in my template. It's doing it's own bloody damn thing to my blog. What's happening, I dunno. I'm just so tired of fussing over my template that from now on, I'm just gonna blog. Ah bah.

I pierced my nose!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!



FAQ:

 

Did it hurt?

Nope, it just shocked the shit out of me, it happened so fast. Felt a tiny bite which could hardly be described as painful. When I accidentally touch it with force, which happens alot cos I keep forgetting its existence, it hurts. Sort of a swelling kinda pain.



Was it expensive?

Far from it. It cost me S$5 only! Cheapo man. The cost of the nose stud's included.



Did you want to crumble and die?

No.



Lastly (and most importantly), does it look good?

Wonderful!!! Remind myself of Mutya of Sugababes. *dances in slowmotion, ala Sugababes* People said it won't look nice cos my nose is small and all that. And the same people are gushing over it. Muahaha! Dhanya triumphs!



 

So this is my look now: long curly/wavy hair let down, big dangling earrings and a shiny nose stud! Sounds weird and overdone but it looks nice!! Oh I'm happy. =DDD



 

Broke up with Sara. I know, shock, shock, shock. But the ppl I'm close with already know, so don't think anyone's gonna reel with shock at my revelation. Heh.

 

Time off. Break. Whatever.

 

Whatever it is, I'm single. So all I got to say is, I went through trouble for this.

 

Trouble I went through:

 - thinking about it

 - getting myself to get over self-denial

 - crying like fuck

 - feeling like a bitch

 - troubling my friends for advice

 - convincing my friends I'm doing the right thing

 - comforting my friend (yeah, that's right).

 

So I better enjoy being single.

The previous post, I posted before I went to Malaysia. But it didn't appear! So I posted it now.



I'm back, by the way!!



=DDDD

Going to Malaysia, Seremban. Be back Tuesday morn. So see ya!



*rides into the night(on a bus)*

Doo dah dah........



I'm every woman!!!!!!!!

It's all in meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!





*FLOATS IN SHIT*