My dad was using Phoebe that day, so I lost my mood to blog. But now, it's baaaaa-aaaack!
I turned 23 about 21 hours ago. 21. Wow, that seems to have been ages away, yet it feels like it happened just like...few months ago. Haha. Tho our 21st birthday party of sorts wasn't the fun-est, we did have a blast, right twinnie? Before the whole thing about the then-fiance screaming at me COS OF UNCOOKED CHICKEN and your mom being upset about it and all. Actually, I think we had the most fun when it was just you, I, Ilyas and Nelvin at the chalet and you and I were in the room upstairs, taking swigs of vodka and giggling down at their barbecueing asses.
Ah, memories, memories.
Just a couple of days and I'll be seeing you, twinnie!!! I wanna laugh like an ass with you. =)
Ragani's leaving Finland today. JOYJOYJOYJOYJOYJOY!!
My best friends are coming back! And even if it's only for a month, I'm super duper, wonderfully, honestly, really really really happy about it. :-D
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
from Sashikumar
reply-to Sashikumar
to dhanyamol@gmail.com
cc dhanya1989@gmail.com,
dhanyanair@gmail.com,
dhanya19@gmail.com,
dhanya2001@yahoo.com,
dhanya27@gmail.com,
dhanya21@gmail.com,
dhanya07@yahoo.com,
dhanyamol@yahoo.com
date Tue, Jun 30, 2009 at 6:27 AM
subject Hai Dhanya
mailed-by rediffmail.com
signed-by rediffmail.com
> >Sashi wrote >Hi, Dhanya, I'm rely sorry 2 Snt ths. bcoz, My Dear Dhanye, I lost evrything 4 you yaar, I Mastrbate 'Self Orgsm' 4 you yaar, Rely I Can't Avd Or stop it. Please, Thr s only one way 2 solve my !. , I'm so rry 4 this yaar.>If U feel good or not, please send your that'. Ok >Yeh,please yaar.
--Sent from MobileRediff--
HAHAHAHAHA! I wonder what the 'that' is. Somebody must have been terribly bored, or horribly horny. Or both cos they often co-exist. Not speaking from experience tho. Errr yeah.
I was baking chicken pie couple of weeks back, and got tipsy on red wine. I felt the need to talk nonsense and it was 3 in the morning which is not the time to call anyone up to talk abt pie, so I decided to assault Phoebe with my wine-breath and dough-fingers. I just love being high!
I'm on to my third glass of wine and I have to admit, I do feel the effects of it. Can be quite disappointing to learn how low your alcohol tolerance is, especially when your good girl friend learns it first when you puke on her pretty green heels in the loo. She'll blame you for it for the next few weeks and all you can do is compliment her looks incessantly cos you can't afford to buy yourself new shoes, let alone her.
Sucks to be broke. It's an arresting state of affairs. You're just... arrested; gotta stay in one place (home). Go out, and you're screwed in the sense that there's nothing you can do except wander around aimlessly hoping home isn't far away cos you can't afford the bus fare since the station's got your pants where you left your wallet. When you're arrested, do the police steal your pants? What if the pants are of sentimental value? Like that piece of clothing in The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants? Do you get extra cash for the time you do in jail if your pants are as famous as that over-celebrated pair?
Glass number four. Ek glassi do glassi theen glassi CHAA!!
I hope my pie-thing turns out okay. Pie-thing cos it's not exactly pie. You got to be at least a teensy bit curious. Thus, I shall elaborate. So. I made this creamy cheesy chicken thing for filling. And dough for pastry (or whatever uncooked pie pastry is called). I was about to roll the dough out to place on the pie dish when some rusty light bulb that shines bloody brightly when I'm high went 'ding', illuminating my entire being by presenting the idea of mashing the dough into the filling, rolling it into a ball, and baking it at 160 degrees Celcius for 40 min. I, ofcos, had no idea if it'll turn out anywhere near decent, so I did one ball which resembled a semi-soggy piece of... well... mush. Also, in case that turned out shitty, I figured I gotta do a mini-pie to make myself feel better about my almost-okay culinary skills, and so I flattened a piece of dough, dumped some filling onto it, and covered it with a thinner piece of (painstakingly) flattened dough. Dough sucks when it sticks to flesh. It really, really does.
Super digression. Opposites attract yes, but in my case, MY ASS. I had to leave him. He loved me. I did too. But love and security wasn't enough. For me.
I'd done the same even if I were ugly. Maybe, if I were ugly, he wouldn't have dated me in the first place. Mmm. Point to consider lazily when the sun's way above me, threatening to turn my skin browner than it's supposed to be. Fair Indian to darker Indian. Or dark Indian. Or the nicer compliment, Black Beauty. But it takes a lot of time under the sun to be black. I don't know exactly how much, and I've noone to turn to for advice on that particular puzzler. And that's fine. Cos it doesn't matter.
The sorta-pies are done.
I've just tried those piping hot items with the stupidity and arguably, courage that the high/drunk and dumb-assed will possess an abundance of. The pie-thing has turned out quite...alright, to say the most. I think it has to be baked longer at a lower temperature. The mini-pie tastes as splendid as my humbleness would allow me to disclose. Maybe a bit on the too-salty side, but nothing a glass of wine cannot temporarily fix.
Oh. Glass number five. Wait. No. Six.
Love is a tricky thing. Tricky tricky tricky.
Can someone tell me when cupid means business? What the fuck is he doing making people who aren't meant to be together fall in love? I'm not sure I like this business of... breaking hearts.
Never had my heart broken. Does karma exist?
Damn.
I married J when I was still looking for the love of my life. DO YOU KNOW HOW SICK THAT IS?
I was an unscrupulous, shit-faced, irresponsible asshole to have thought that I was making the right decision based on the fact that he loved me dearly. I loved him too. Well I still do, in a very distant, less active way. But like I said, it wasn't enough. I wasn't happy with my choice cos I really needed to know, to find out, if I could be truly, liberated-ly happy. I was only 21, and very eager to grow up.
The rest of the dough and filling need to be done. Should I roll it out onto a pie-dish which would be the more traditional and perhaps sensible choice, or make more pie-things or mini-pies?
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
You know that odd feeling where you feel like you might just burst if you don't release something really really soon and you're gonna embarrass yourself immensely even if you're your only audience?
I need to pee.
P.S: In case you don't rmbr, Phoebe's my netbook.
reply-to Sashikumar
to dhanyamol@gmail.com
cc dhanya1989@gmail.com,
dhanyanair@gmail.com,
dhanya19@gmail.com,
dhanya2001@yahoo.com,
dhanya27@gmail.com,
dhanya21@gmail.com,
dhanya07@yahoo.com,
dhanyamol@yahoo.com
date Tue, Jun 30, 2009 at 6:27 AM
subject Hai Dhanya
mailed-by rediffmail.com
signed-by rediffmail.com
> >Sashi wrote >Hi, Dhanya, I'm rely sorry 2 Snt ths. bcoz, My Dear Dhanye, I lost evrything 4 you yaar, I Mastrbate 'Self Orgsm' 4 you yaar, Rely I Can't Avd Or stop it. Please, Thr s only one way 2 solve my !. , I'm so rry 4 this yaar.>If U feel good or not, please send your that'. Ok >Yeh,please yaar.
--Sent from MobileRediff--
HAHAHAHAHA! I wonder what the 'that' is. Somebody must have been terribly bored, or horribly horny. Or both cos they often co-exist. Not speaking from experience tho. Errr yeah.
I was baking chicken pie couple of weeks back, and got tipsy on red wine. I felt the need to talk nonsense and it was 3 in the morning which is not the time to call anyone up to talk abt pie, so I decided to assault Phoebe with my wine-breath and dough-fingers. I just love being high!
I'm on to my third glass of wine and I have to admit, I do feel the effects of it. Can be quite disappointing to learn how low your alcohol tolerance is, especially when your good girl friend learns it first when you puke on her pretty green heels in the loo. She'll blame you for it for the next few weeks and all you can do is compliment her looks incessantly cos you can't afford to buy yourself new shoes, let alone her.
Sucks to be broke. It's an arresting state of affairs. You're just... arrested; gotta stay in one place (home). Go out, and you're screwed in the sense that there's nothing you can do except wander around aimlessly hoping home isn't far away cos you can't afford the bus fare since the station's got your pants where you left your wallet. When you're arrested, do the police steal your pants? What if the pants are of sentimental value? Like that piece of clothing in The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants? Do you get extra cash for the time you do in jail if your pants are as famous as that over-celebrated pair?
Glass number four. Ek glassi do glassi theen glassi CHAA!!
I hope my pie-thing turns out okay. Pie-thing cos it's not exactly pie. You got to be at least a teensy bit curious. Thus, I shall elaborate. So. I made this creamy cheesy chicken thing for filling. And dough for pastry (or whatever uncooked pie pastry is called). I was about to roll the dough out to place on the pie dish when some rusty light bulb that shines bloody brightly when I'm high went 'ding', illuminating my entire being by presenting the idea of mashing the dough into the filling, rolling it into a ball, and baking it at 160 degrees Celcius for 40 min. I, ofcos, had no idea if it'll turn out anywhere near decent, so I did one ball which resembled a semi-soggy piece of... well... mush. Also, in case that turned out shitty, I figured I gotta do a mini-pie to make myself feel better about my almost-okay culinary skills, and so I flattened a piece of dough, dumped some filling onto it, and covered it with a thinner piece of (painstakingly) flattened dough. Dough sucks when it sticks to flesh. It really, really does.
Super digression. Opposites attract yes, but in my case, MY ASS. I had to leave him. He loved me. I did too. But love and security wasn't enough. For me.
I'd done the same even if I were ugly. Maybe, if I were ugly, he wouldn't have dated me in the first place. Mmm. Point to consider lazily when the sun's way above me, threatening to turn my skin browner than it's supposed to be. Fair Indian to darker Indian. Or dark Indian. Or the nicer compliment, Black Beauty. But it takes a lot of time under the sun to be black. I don't know exactly how much, and I've noone to turn to for advice on that particular puzzler. And that's fine. Cos it doesn't matter.
The sorta-pies are done.
I've just tried those piping hot items with the stupidity and arguably, courage that the high/drunk and dumb-assed will possess an abundance of. The pie-thing has turned out quite...alright, to say the most. I think it has to be baked longer at a lower temperature. The mini-pie tastes as splendid as my humbleness would allow me to disclose. Maybe a bit on the too-salty side, but nothing a glass of wine cannot temporarily fix.
Oh. Glass number five. Wait. No. Six.
Love is a tricky thing. Tricky tricky tricky.
Can someone tell me when cupid means business? What the fuck is he doing making people who aren't meant to be together fall in love? I'm not sure I like this business of... breaking hearts.
Never had my heart broken. Does karma exist?
Damn.
I married J when I was still looking for the love of my life. DO YOU KNOW HOW SICK THAT IS?
I was an unscrupulous, shit-faced, irresponsible asshole to have thought that I was making the right decision based on the fact that he loved me dearly. I loved him too. Well I still do, in a very distant, less active way. But like I said, it wasn't enough. I wasn't happy with my choice cos I really needed to know, to find out, if I could be truly, liberated-ly happy. I was only 21, and very eager to grow up.
The rest of the dough and filling need to be done. Should I roll it out onto a pie-dish which would be the more traditional and perhaps sensible choice, or make more pie-things or mini-pies?
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
You know that odd feeling where you feel like you might just burst if you don't release something really really soon and you're gonna embarrass yourself immensely even if you're your only audience?
I need to pee.
P.S: In case you don't rmbr, Phoebe's my netbook.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Looks like i got too excited about blogging soon. That thing got posted twice!
I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
- I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield
Okay that sounds a little sad, but I'm not. And no, I don't bruise easily, and I'm not bruised either. Hahaha.
Things have gotten better. Waaaaaay better than expected. And better so soon!
All I need is to get a job. Hahaha.
So how've YOU been? :-D
I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
- I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield
Okay that sounds a little sad, but I'm not. And no, I don't bruise easily, and I'm not bruised either. Hahaha.
Things have gotten better. Waaaaaay better than expected. And better so soon!
All I need is to get a job. Hahaha.
So how've YOU been? :-D
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The net connection at home sucks ASS. I feel like a lost child, struggling to find super-secureness in WirelessSG and not finding it. Oh well.
How've you guys been?! I miss you all. Yep, ALL of you. And that's not cos my social life's a little shitty(cos my mom's still thinkin I'm gonna get raped now that I'm supposedly sendng out 'single' vibes) and I miss hanging out with ppl in general. It's cos I genuinely miss you guys.
Ah well.
Couple of days ago, I was at Friend A's place for dinner. I'm not close to her and that particular group of old pri school buds at all, but I went cos Checkered Shorts' going, and cos A actually called me up to ask me to come. Weird. Well she DID see me out with my mom some weeks back and invited me over, to which I said 'sure' cos it's only polite to say 'sure' when someone invites you to something that you think you won't be ACTUALLY invited to.
I was friendly, but kinda anti-social. That bunch of ppl used to discuss me in not very flattering ways cos of stuff that Asshole 1 (whom I semi-dated for the shortest period of time) fed them abt me. And they never even talked to me much. Ah well. Since it's such a secondary school thing to do to bitch about someone when you know shit about him/her, I decided to be non-secondary-school-ish and not give it much thought, not hold (much of) a grudge, but just be slightly uninterested. That was pretty easy, cos I really was quite uninterested in talking to them. Okay maybe I've a teeeeny bit of a grudge. Teeeeeeny.
ANYWAYS. I've an exam 2 days from now. Wish me luck!
Oh, and I've cut my hair. It's almost really short. I've been hating it for the past 50+ hours, but now, after having my little fringe straightened, I quite like it. I look a wee bit younger. Yay!
Eh Ragani. You had said you have lots to tell me, and that was last week. Gimme something woman, I'm bloody curious!!!
How've you guys been?! I miss you all. Yep, ALL of you. And that's not cos my social life's a little shitty(cos my mom's still thinkin I'm gonna get raped now that I'm supposedly sendng out 'single' vibes) and I miss hanging out with ppl in general. It's cos I genuinely miss you guys.
Ah well.
Couple of days ago, I was at Friend A's place for dinner. I'm not close to her and that particular group of old pri school buds at all, but I went cos Checkered Shorts' going, and cos A actually called me up to ask me to come. Weird. Well she DID see me out with my mom some weeks back and invited me over, to which I said 'sure' cos it's only polite to say 'sure' when someone invites you to something that you think you won't be ACTUALLY invited to.
I was friendly, but kinda anti-social. That bunch of ppl used to discuss me in not very flattering ways cos of stuff that Asshole 1 (whom I semi-dated for the shortest period of time) fed them abt me. And they never even talked to me much. Ah well. Since it's such a secondary school thing to do to bitch about someone when you know shit about him/her, I decided to be non-secondary-school-ish and not give it much thought, not hold (much of) a grudge, but just be slightly uninterested. That was pretty easy, cos I really was quite uninterested in talking to them. Okay maybe I've a teeeeny bit of a grudge. Teeeeeeny.
ANYWAYS. I've an exam 2 days from now. Wish me luck!
Oh, and I've cut my hair. It's almost really short. I've been hating it for the past 50+ hours, but now, after having my little fringe straightened, I quite like it. I look a wee bit younger. Yay!
Eh Ragani. You had said you have lots to tell me, and that was last week. Gimme something woman, I'm bloody curious!!!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
David says:
hahahhaha
awwww u so kind
hey so u gotten a job yet?
or still finding for one?
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
hehehe
looking for one lah
sigh
haha
David says:
oh haha ok
well what kinda job u looking for?
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
mmm
customer service sorts lah
I like being kept busy that way
no more boring ofice stuff for me!
David says:
hahahah
then i have a job for u!
u interested in applying?
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
okay you are gonna say something daaaammnn stupid
go ahead, say it!
aaaaaaahahhaha
David says:
hhahahhaha
ok la dun wanna be so bad to u
hahhaha
poor u...
see im good to u!!
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
whaat!
so anti-climax!
pls lah, tell me tell me tell me!
hahaha
David says:
hahahhahaha
i wanted to say.........
KISS MY ASS
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
hahahhaha
David says:
thats the biggest and wildest job u will get
hahahhahahaha
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
bloody...!!!!!
OMG AAAAHAHAHAHA!
you great, big stupid!
David says:
hahahahah
yes i know
and it goes on;
David says:
hahahhaha
well everyone will be wondering how come u havent kissed my ass
since its so attractive
my hot cross brown buns
hahahaha
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
oh my god
your hot brown buns.
HAHAHAHHAHHAA
Monday, October 12, 2009
Back. Right. As I was saying, I found out Checkered Shorts's really into me. Which made me realise that staying married is not an option, especially since I married for the wrong reasons. But let's not go into that now cos it's a much-discussed-and-therefore-bloodyfrustrating-topic. Checkered's interest didn't break my marriage; it just acted as a catalyst; A catalyst, not THE catalyst. It irritates me terribly when ppl just don't understand that I didn't plain leave one guy for another. It's not that easy/simple. Ah. Where is this going? I shall come back to the story.
SO. I had trust issues. I found it hard to believe that someone who claims to have fallen in love with me while knowing fully well that I was engaged/married/super unavailable could be telling the truth. I don't think I have to explain what my concerns were and why; they must be obvious. My family had the same concerns (and a few extra cos they believe Checkered broke my marriage aaaand listen to this, they 'found out' he's done some black magic on me but that's a different @&@!#^ matter altogether) and in a nutshell, they quite hate him.
I, on the other hand, have decided to follow my heart and guts for once, and trust him.
This is why. Earlier this week, my brother-in-law (who had a not-so-friendly little chat with Checkered, and has very recently decided to become my good friend/advisor/and now semi-disciplinarian since my dad, tho I love him very much the way he is, is as passive as passive can be) told me that if Checkered doesn't stop seeing me, he'll either have him beaten up (uh huh, you read that right), or have his parents notified that he's getting upclose and personal with a married woman, and the former threat will result in his parents finding out anyway. That's a bit of a no-no for the mo cos Checkered feels the need to prove himself trustworthy to his folks first by establishing himself a little before letting them know he wants to be with a girl who was once married. Or something like that. I know it might sound bullshittish to some cos if a guy really loves a girl, there's nothing else that matters, right? Not exactly. Especially if the girl's say... married.
Anyways. I realise I've not yet revealed the reason I've grown to trust him. The reason is, he's not running away. My family might just decide to take matters into their hands anytime and let his family know, but he still wants in.
Somehow, within all the mess, I manage to find this quite perfect. For the moment, this is just really really perfect. For the first time in my life (love-wise), I'm following my heart and guts and not my mind. I'm listening to that little voice in my head that told me that Jay and I won't last. It's the same voice that I mentioned in one of my earlier posts which tells me to brush my teeth before I go to sleep and to stop drinking when I get too tipsy. Haha. Sounds a little stupid, I know. But I know it's not.
I love looking at his face. Love just watching him. Love it when he smiles for me. It feels so comfy and safe with him and I wanna sniff at him for hours and kiss his dimples. And now that I know I can trust him, I know that he's mine and he wants it that way. And I'm now ready to be his. Weird how it can feel so natural. We still do have moments where we can't help but go 'oh my god. it's us!' and 'shit, you and me?!' and the ocassional more simple 'wow. =)'. Many people, including you now, know about us, except for the families, which is unfortunate... but it's just how it has to be right now. They're not ready for us, and I don't mind waiting.
But if this doesn't work out, I will never listen to that little voice in my head again.
By the way, I still can't remember what that secret that I promised you guys was. I know it was some stupid little thing I thought up of when I was bored. Maybe it's best left forgotten. HAHA.
SO. I had trust issues. I found it hard to believe that someone who claims to have fallen in love with me while knowing fully well that I was engaged/married/super unavailable could be telling the truth. I don't think I have to explain what my concerns were and why; they must be obvious. My family had the same concerns (and a few extra cos they believe Checkered broke my marriage aaaand listen to this, they 'found out' he's done some black magic on me but that's a different @&@!#^ matter altogether) and in a nutshell, they quite hate him.
I, on the other hand, have decided to follow my heart and guts for once, and trust him.
This is why. Earlier this week, my brother-in-law (who had a not-so-friendly little chat with Checkered, and has very recently decided to become my good friend/advisor/and now semi-disciplinarian since my dad, tho I love him very much the way he is, is as passive as passive can be) told me that if Checkered doesn't stop seeing me, he'll either have him beaten up (uh huh, you read that right), or have his parents notified that he's getting upclose and personal with a married woman, and the former threat will result in his parents finding out anyway. That's a bit of a no-no for the mo cos Checkered feels the need to prove himself trustworthy to his folks first by establishing himself a little before letting them know he wants to be with a girl who was once married. Or something like that. I know it might sound bullshittish to some cos if a guy really loves a girl, there's nothing else that matters, right? Not exactly. Especially if the girl's say... married.
Anyways. I realise I've not yet revealed the reason I've grown to trust him. The reason is, he's not running away. My family might just decide to take matters into their hands anytime and let his family know, but he still wants in.
Somehow, within all the mess, I manage to find this quite perfect. For the moment, this is just really really perfect. For the first time in my life (love-wise), I'm following my heart and guts and not my mind. I'm listening to that little voice in my head that told me that Jay and I won't last. It's the same voice that I mentioned in one of my earlier posts which tells me to brush my teeth before I go to sleep and to stop drinking when I get too tipsy. Haha. Sounds a little stupid, I know. But I know it's not.
I love looking at his face. Love just watching him. Love it when he smiles for me. It feels so comfy and safe with him and I wanna sniff at him for hours and kiss his dimples. And now that I know I can trust him, I know that he's mine and he wants it that way. And I'm now ready to be his. Weird how it can feel so natural. We still do have moments where we can't help but go 'oh my god. it's us!' and 'shit, you and me?!' and the ocassional more simple 'wow. =)'. Many people, including you now, know about us, except for the families, which is unfortunate... but it's just how it has to be right now. They're not ready for us, and I don't mind waiting.
But if this doesn't work out, I will never listen to that little voice in my head again.
By the way, I still can't remember what that secret that I promised you guys was. I know it was some stupid little thing I thought up of when I was bored. Maybe it's best left forgotten. HAHA.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I had durians and milo for breakfast yesterday. Lovely.
Was staring at the same page I'm looking at now around the same time yesterday and the day before, tryin to remember the secret I promised to let you guys in on. How anti-climax.
Oh by the way people, I'm in a relationship now. I'm still married at the mo, tho. Married to one, in love with another. I AM taking things slightly slow, tho it might not seem like it. Going with the flow. Following the winds. And what else have you. AND, there is a whole huge tamil movie inspired story to it.
Do you have the time?
Checkered Shorts and I go a long long way back, all the way to primary school. We were in the same school, same second language class, and YET, we don't remember seeing each other at all. I only knew him by name, and he by mine (but he put the face of one Diana to my name, that dumbass). We officially met again (bless Teddy Bear, the lovely, hairy mutual friend for keepin in contact with me) about 8 years ago, which was when he realised Diana isn't me. But no, there were no sparks then. In fact, there weren't any till a year ago.
See, we never talked much, nor did we meet up alone. We just saw each other couple of times a year when I'm free to join that particular group of friends for coffee. All that changed one night late June 2008 when our friends didn't turn up and it was just the 2 of us left to entertain each other thru dinner. Kinda made us realise that we can actually hang out and not feel bored of each other. And that was the beginning to everything.
I began to wonder how it'd be like to be with him, cos he's just so suited to me character-wise. Laidback...relaxed...taking things as they come. And I loved him quite dearly, as a friend. But as you all know, I was attached then, engaged even. Soooo it was a oh-well-too-bad thing. Until middle this year, which was when I found out he'd actually fallen in love with me.
Ah. The nephew needs to be fed. Continue later!
Was staring at the same page I'm looking at now around the same time yesterday and the day before, tryin to remember the secret I promised to let you guys in on. How anti-climax.
Oh by the way people, I'm in a relationship now. I'm still married at the mo, tho. Married to one, in love with another. I AM taking things slightly slow, tho it might not seem like it. Going with the flow. Following the winds. And what else have you. AND, there is a whole huge tamil movie inspired story to it.
Do you have the time?
Checkered Shorts and I go a long long way back, all the way to primary school. We were in the same school, same second language class, and YET, we don't remember seeing each other at all. I only knew him by name, and he by mine (but he put the face of one Diana to my name, that dumbass). We officially met again (bless Teddy Bear, the lovely, hairy mutual friend for keepin in contact with me) about 8 years ago, which was when he realised Diana isn't me. But no, there were no sparks then. In fact, there weren't any till a year ago.
See, we never talked much, nor did we meet up alone. We just saw each other couple of times a year when I'm free to join that particular group of friends for coffee. All that changed one night late June 2008 when our friends didn't turn up and it was just the 2 of us left to entertain each other thru dinner. Kinda made us realise that we can actually hang out and not feel bored of each other. And that was the beginning to everything.
I began to wonder how it'd be like to be with him, cos he's just so suited to me character-wise. Laidback...relaxed...taking things as they come. And I loved him quite dearly, as a friend. But as you all know, I was attached then, engaged even. Soooo it was a oh-well-too-bad thing. Until middle this year, which was when I found out he'd actually fallen in love with me.
Ah. The nephew needs to be fed. Continue later!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Let me tell you what kind of girl I am.
I will get wet in the rain in a white shirt; I'll carry my sandals and walk barefoot in a shopping mall; I'll indulge in the notion that the sun shines only for me for a few miliseconds; I'll go out with you if I don't really like you cos I'll wanna discover your good points (if you have any); I'll bake into the wee hours of the morning to tire myself out, have a hot brownie and giggle to myself; I'll dance to my favourite songs in the shower; I'll choose a handmade card over any branded/pricey gift; I'll hunt for some canvas and paint and create (happens when I feel like I'm in love); I'll ponder for hours about the past, the what-ifs, and be thankful for the present; I'll smile at you so that you'll smile at me; I'll spend hours sniffing at you if I love you very much; I'll not like it if you paid for me unless I'm comfy with you; I'll give you flowers if I love you; I'll willingly be stupid and trust you cos my gut tells me to, and some time later, I'll rethink the whole thing and decide not to trust you; I'll then trust you again; I'll know I might be kind of screwed; but I'll get the feeling I might never want to let you go.
I will get wet in the rain in a white shirt; I'll carry my sandals and walk barefoot in a shopping mall; I'll indulge in the notion that the sun shines only for me for a few miliseconds; I'll go out with you if I don't really like you cos I'll wanna discover your good points (if you have any); I'll bake into the wee hours of the morning to tire myself out, have a hot brownie and giggle to myself; I'll dance to my favourite songs in the shower; I'll choose a handmade card over any branded/pricey gift; I'll hunt for some canvas and paint and create (happens when I feel like I'm in love); I'll ponder for hours about the past, the what-ifs, and be thankful for the present; I'll smile at you so that you'll smile at me; I'll spend hours sniffing at you if I love you very much; I'll not like it if you paid for me unless I'm comfy with you; I'll give you flowers if I love you; I'll willingly be stupid and trust you cos my gut tells me to, and some time later, I'll rethink the whole thing and decide not to trust you; I'll then trust you again; I'll know I might be kind of screwed; but I'll get the feeling I might never want to let you go.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I'm alone at mac at funan IT mall. Y'know, it's nice to be alone sometimes.
But I miss you. I like the way this feels. For now.
*grins just a wee bit*
There's a lightness in my heart that shouldn't be there, but I won't question it. If you find gold coins under your pillow instead of your rotten tooth, you just shut the hell up.
But I miss you. I like the way this feels. For now.
*grins just a wee bit*
There's a lightness in my heart that shouldn't be there, but I won't question it. If you find gold coins under your pillow instead of your rotten tooth, you just shut the hell up.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt
I think that might be the saddest song I've ever heard. One can't help but feel a wee bit pathetic while listening to that song, reading those lyrics, bingeing on brownies, and waiting to feel fat.
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt
I think that might be the saddest song I've ever heard. One can't help but feel a wee bit pathetic while listening to that song, reading those lyrics, bingeing on brownies, and waiting to feel fat.
My flooble chatbox either died on me, or disappeared off the face of the earth. Regardless of what actually happened, it's not coming back cos CBOX is here. So say hello!
No really, say hello. I'd love to hear from you. Even if your life sucks and you wanna take it out on me and tell me I'm shit. Yay me.
Twinnie, I miss you. Ragani, I miss you, and PLS contact me. Jeevitha, I miss you too. Kit, I'm gonna miss you. I miss my girlfriends. I seem to be around guys most of the time cos they're less complicated. Well yes they generally are, as long as they don't wish you were with them when they're alone in their rooms late in the night.
No really, say hello. I'd love to hear from you. Even if your life sucks and you wanna take it out on me and tell me I'm shit. Yay me.
Twinnie, I miss you. Ragani, I miss you, and PLS contact me. Jeevitha, I miss you too. Kit, I'm gonna miss you. I miss my girlfriends. I seem to be around guys most of the time cos they're less complicated. Well yes they generally are, as long as they don't wish you were with them when they're alone in their rooms late in the night.
Friday, September 11, 2009
V. Ragani reads my blog. She drops by sometimes, gets herself updated, and moves on very very quietly. She does not tag much. That's alright, cos I love her.
I sent her an email on August 30th to ask her how she's been doing since she landed in Finland, and there's been no reply to date! The atrocity of it all is so magnificent that I find myself choking in it's... umm... magnificence!
But that's alright too. Cos I still love her. Sigh.
Maybe this's some karmaic payback. I've not replied to Sara's few-week-old email. ANYWAY, speaking of Sara, here's his very first msn convo appearance on my blog, and (hmmmm) probably any platform on the world wide net.
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
so you're bored shitless ah
no date today?!
:-o
Saravanan says:
yup so you can be my virtual date
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
HUR
I don't do cybersex, thank you
Saravanan says:
damn it
plzzzzz
jus for me
plzzzzzzzzzzzz
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
sighhhh
Saravanan says:
men are always men
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fiiine. but we shall discuss the rates first
Saravanan says:
tats wat u are thinking right
okok nice
okok how much issit per hr?
5rp?
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
RP?!
more like SGD5 per min lah
Saravanan says:
5 per min for your face is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fuck you and get lost
HAHAH
Saravanan says:
hey u watch ur language u filthy papaya smelling asshole
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fuck you, you sick duck-like specimen!
Saravanan says:
wtf is a duck like specimen????
u mean I look like a fucking duck omg u stupid JERK
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
that's exactly what I meant, you brinjal-sucking cow!
And we started the conversation out quite civilly, y'know. Talking to the ex gets my skin bubbling very very slightly. In a nice, pleasant, friendly way, ofcos. Does that even make sense?
Out to meet a couple of ppl. Feels good, going out after so long. I love my family very much, but constant exposure to them is maddening, even more so these days. I need to be alone sometimes. Damn, and I need to get a job soon. And I would really like to have a smoke.
I sent her an email on August 30th to ask her how she's been doing since she landed in Finland, and there's been no reply to date! The atrocity of it all is so magnificent that I find myself choking in it's... umm... magnificence!
But that's alright too. Cos I still love her. Sigh.
Maybe this's some karmaic payback. I've not replied to Sara's few-week-old email. ANYWAY, speaking of Sara, here's his very first msn convo appearance on my blog, and (hmmmm) probably any platform on the world wide net.
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
so you're bored shitless ah
no date today?!
:-o
Saravanan says:
yup so you can be my virtual date
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
HUR
I don't do cybersex, thank you
Saravanan says:
damn it
plzzzzz
jus for me
plzzzzzzzzzzzz
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
sighhhh
Saravanan says:
men are always men
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fiiine. but we shall discuss the rates first
Saravanan says:
tats wat u are thinking right
okok nice
okok how much issit per hr?
5rp?
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
RP?!
more like SGD5 per min lah
Saravanan says:
5 per min for your face is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fuck you and get lost
HAHAH
Saravanan says:
hey u watch ur language u filthy papaya smelling asshole
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
fuck you, you sick duck-like specimen!
Saravanan says:
wtf is a duck like specimen????
u mean I look like a fucking duck omg u stupid JERK
°· her royal freshness ·° says:
that's exactly what I meant, you brinjal-sucking cow!
And we started the conversation out quite civilly, y'know. Talking to the ex gets my skin bubbling very very slightly. In a nice, pleasant, friendly way, ofcos. Does that even make sense?
Out to meet a couple of ppl. Feels good, going out after so long. I love my family very much, but constant exposure to them is maddening, even more so these days. I need to be alone sometimes. Damn, and I need to get a job soon. And I would really like to have a smoke.
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